To ask how bright you think your children are?

[Cheekysquirrel]

I ask because all my friends seem to think their children are exceptionally bright.
My children are average, average at best. I said as much to mil and she was aghast.
I think average (academically) is fine. I mean most people ARE average. Ds has ASD and has bigger issues than not setting the world alight academically. I’d be happy if he just had any friends.
Dd isn’t at preschool yet but she isn’t as bright as ds - takes her ages to learn anything and I think she’s going to really struggle with maths.

Meanwhile all my friends are telling me how clever their kids are.
Is it them or me?!

I always got the impression that you get extra work because your behind and need the help - I always did! My daughter gets extra homework and I had always assumed it was becasue she isn’t strong in writing.

All three of my kids are below average.

I have one who is very bright and things just click for him and he is so open to learn about everything.
My middle one finds things much harder and it takes time and patience with him, he loves to learn though just at his own pace.

My youngest is only little.

I have three DC and they are all bright, especially the eldest. I know because he won a prize for academic excellence last year, gets medals in the national maths challenge, that kind of thing.

Ds is only 3yo so we've a way to go yet. Sometimes he'll do or say something which genuinely shocks me, other days he just reminds of Steve Martin's kid in Parenthood that eats the dots off the flash card things and walks around with a bucket in his head deliberately banging into a wall. 🤷‍♀️. He's either smart or he isn't. We'll find out. As long as he does his best, that's all we can ask. DH wasn't considered super smart at school, but has a very successful career.

Do people even know that half the kids in a class will be above average, and half will be below.

Because that's how it's defined!

DS is average. He has a low attention span.
His cousin is in the same class as him and they are more advanced than him and exceeding expectations. I can see that and I'm fine with that. DS enjoys playing maths games and reading so I can't ask for more at 5 years old.

I know someone who claimed the midwife said their 2 week old was advanced.....
I see frequent postings of this advanced infant, now 4yo old, 'homework' from nursery e.g writing/drawings. Makes me cringe everytime.

My own children seem fairly average....

DC11 is above average but lazy.

DC8 is on meds for epilepsy and affects his focus. His teacher says he’s smart And capable. Grades are average.

Neither is a genius.

I worked with a guy whose young toddler could read, write and was teaching himself languages like Russian. He is a genius. Couldn’t cope with that. Too much work for me to keep them stimulated and happy

Tinkly but in yr3 they all seem to be free readers and the only test they’ve done is their ks1 sats which only measures to expected standard?

Ds1 is very bright, gifted in maths (got into the top 3% in a national maths competition for secondary school children whilst still in primary school) and achieves well in all subjects because he is conscientious and works hard. DS2 is curious and thinks 'out of the box' but lacks focus and is currently underachieving at school. DD had a brain injury and was not expected to walk or talk, and is currently bang on track in mainstream primary. The only one I ever boast about unless specifically asked as in the OP is DD, and only on forums where other children have been given the same dreadful prognosis to share some hope. To listen to some of my friends everything their children touches turns to gold - they are deluded.

Both exceptionally bright
Not from me. My ex husband

DD is bright I'd say , she has a good degree and A*s at A Level. Taught herself 2 instruments to professional standards.
Picks up languages v easily and speaks 4.
At primary she was kept back a year!

DS1 Dyslexic, not traditionally academic but still predicted good A level grades. Has been accepted into uni for nursing. Was in the special needs class all through school.

DS2 The brightest of the family at anything mathematical. Predicted A and A*s at A level. Plays several instruments well. Was a sleeper at school, in set 3 for most subjects until he flew through GCSEs. However has terrible general knowlege. (Last week declared that he was shocked at how small penguins are as he thought they were person sized)

We have always put more emphasis in hobbies than academic stuff. Never wanted to push them.

DH has a PhD and teaches in a selective private school. He finds it difficult to witness the pressure some of his students are under from their families.

Actually we are in a very competitive area as regards education. They have shit like the honor roll. DC1 got on it for the first 6 week grading and I wondered how terrible the other kids grades were for him to be on it as I thought his grades weren’t amazing. 2nd 6 week grading and his grades dropped like a stone. He’s turned it around again for 3rd grading period so we’ll see if he’s on the honor roll again.

Both dds are bright enough without our being exceptional academically. But they're both exceptional to me.

My 3 are all on target to be greater depth in all their subjects in primary school.
DD1 was free reading before school, DD2 taught herself to read (really!!) and DS is exceptionally good at maths (I am a teacher so I know exactly how far ahead of his peers he is). I don't push them in their school work and they are left to their own devices where homework is concerned. I do, however, make them practice their instruments (which they're not especially talented at, so need to practice regularly to ensure they progress).

However...
DD1 has very low self esteem and little confidence in herself. She's also pretty rubbish at sport.
DD2 has probable ASD and struggles with anxiety and friendships. She's horrible to her brother and her meltdowns have a massive impact on the family. I don't think she'll do well in exams at secondary as she really struggles to complete an assessment within the time given. She loves babies though - I think she'd make an excellent nursery nurse!
DS is an absolute toerag at school. If it wasn't for the fact that he is bright, he'd have no chance of learning anything. He's also a bit of a nightmare at home. I strongly suspect ADHD and possibly ASD.

Frankly, I'd happily trade some cleverness for an improvement in mental wellbeing. It's horrible seeing children so young so upset and feel powerless to help them :(

@grumiosmum

What average are you referring to? National average? In which case 95% of my children’s primary school is above that.
Or are you talking about the average within a class?

I have one that’s brilliant at putting the effort in to learn, but not exceptionally clever, another who is naturally very bright but can’t get enthusiastic about school and learning.... meh! I’m just happy that they have friends and are happy in life, I think some people think their children are super bright because they don’t know many other children and the rate at which they grow and learn and change is pretty astonishing, so maybe they assume that their kid is a wizz. I know and work with lots of children, so I know all of mine are just what they are, I always aim to give them opportunities so that they can be the best version of themselves - but whatever that actually is, let’s see

@thegreenlight is he autistic or just gifted ? Sounds tricky . Fro what's its worth my ds with learning difficulties is much better in company than super bright dd . It's weird isn't it how they can't ( mostly ) have everything .

My oldest has learning difficulties - I cried with joy the day her teacher told me her reading skills were average as she'd never been average in anything. She's 16 now and about to fail all her GCSE's. My youngest is above average I would say, but lacks the work ethic of her sister or she would be amazing!

Class average Kikipost.

Not sure I think mine are doing ok. I have DSs and others who have DDs seem very focused on their achievements. They seem more advanced than my DSs. I find it very irritating when people brag about DCs being bright and exceptional in any event.

One of my kids is very bright, the other average. BUT, the bright one has terrible social skills, whereas the average kid is very likeable and even keeled. I feel that the average child is going to get on better and achieve more in life, and that the bright kid will struggle (I do not share this view with the kids, this is just my observations and feelings).

My eldest seems to be going like me, average at about half of the things he does and really bright with other things (he is brilliant with maths and literacy for example but hopeless with p.e and average with science) my youngest is 4 and is on the additional needs register at school so miles behind everyone. I do find it hard to believe the amount of "amazingly bright" kids there are going by the school gate chat...

My dd1 is nearly 4 so really I've no idea how bright she is or if she'll be bright come middle/high school but I do think she's bright in her own way. She can only just write her name which is behind others who will be in her reception class and she's only just really getting the hang of written number and addition/subtraction so she seems behind as far as written things go however her knowledge of her environment and animals/nature is way way more advanced and her interpretation of music is brilliant. Everyone tells me her language is fab and I'm often told by others she's bright but tbh I just want her to be happy. That being said she's never happier then when she's asking questions about nature and it's nice to see her enjoy learning.