To ask how bright you think your children are?

[Cheekysquirrel]

I ask because all my friends seem to think their children are exceptionally bright.
My children are average, average at best. I said as much to mil and she was aghast.
I think average (academically) is fine. I mean most people ARE average. Ds has ASD and has bigger issues than not setting the world alight academically. I’d be happy if he just had any friends.
Dd isn’t at preschool yet but she isn’t as bright as ds - takes her ages to learn anything and I think she’s going to really struggle with maths.

Meanwhile all my friends are telling me how clever their kids are.
Is it them or me?!

DS 1 is a literal genius. Could sing full alphabet and count to 50 by 14 months. We’ve never taught him. He never fails to amaze us. He is way ahead of his peers in nursery and seems super advanced academically and in terms of emotional intelligence, lateral thinking, problem solving. But he was always like that. Eye contact on the day he was born, social smiling at 1.5 weeks old. Crawling at 6 months. Walking confidently at 9 months. Climbing ladders and running at 10 months. Empathising with adults at 10 months. Age 2 He noticed his nursery worker was 12 weeks pregnant because she said something very cryptic to another adult. None of the parents realised until she was in the third trimester.
DS 2 is too young to truely say but I don’t think he will be quite as advanced, but probably above average as he’s hitting all his milestones early and seems very observant and switched on.

And my child climbed Everest at 9months and performed opera in the Royal Albert Hall aged three and a half ....,

Could sing full alphabet and count to 50 by 14 months. We’ve never taught him

Yep, I sing the alphabet song to myself all the time, it’s my all-time favourite. DS just happened to pick it up completely accidentally, that was never my intention whatsoever

(Not true, if that wasn’t clear)

My DS hit no milestones, he couldn’t talk even at 2.5, he didn’t walk till 18 months. He’s doing maths and literacy two years above his age. I don’t think walking and sitting is related to intelligence tbh.

My eldest has ASD so struggles and is in low sets, however he is a match for most kids at spellings and mental arithmetic. Always been a good reader but has little interest in picking up a book. I'm content that he tries his best and is happy.

I know a lot of very successful people. Few have struck me as being incredibly "bright". Tenacious, quick thinking, dogged, innovative, creative, determined, etc yes, but not many are much above average in thinking ability. None would be at "rocket scientist" levels of academic ability. Those I know who fit into that bracket are fairly middling career and earnings wise..

As a former colleague commented once. Everyone seems to want there kids to be able to walk before others, as if its going to be a worthwhile advantage in life.

No one ever looked at a 30 yr old and said "Wow, he walks so well"

@Tiredand 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I came here to say exactly that.
I've been told my whole life by a lot of people that I am "very bright" but imo I have amazing visual memory which has got me through all my exams (after studying, of course!) I am tenacious and very curious which has led me into reading and finding out about a lot of things.

But I don't consider myself very bright.

Kids mature at different rates to each other and at different rates in different areas and in different stages of their life. I have observed that kids who were just average in my oldest son's secondary class have caught up with kids who were at the top of the class and are getting similar GCSE results.

Everyone thinks their child is extremely smart and "such a character" mine are average lol I'm ok with that

Mine are clever but not geniuses - DD1 looks like getting good solid A-levels (AAB) but definitely has to work very very hard for those grades. DD2 is looking like getting 7-9 in her GCSEs with maybe a couple of 6. Also works hard to get those grades.

Some of the super amazing students in DD1's year crashed and burned in Yr12 because they thought they could do A-levels in the same way. Having to work for things sets you up for life.

I'm not bothered about how intelligent mine are, for me I think what's more important particularly as they get older, is that they have tenacity and focus. So if they don't give up easily, but if they do, it's okay because they know they've tried their best. I'd like them to develop a good sense of emotional intelligence as that's can help you get on in life.

I’m sure I read that above 120 IQ doesn’t correlate to higher earnings.

I think being super smart (Mensa level or above) can be quite disadvantageous. It is alienating, can lead to bullying at school and at work, can make work seem boring etc.

Plus no one is gifted at everything.

Dc1 can do academics but can’t draw beyond a stick figure, read music, nurture plants/ animals or find anything in a drawer!

Sorry to disappoint but it is actually true, he is under 3 and can write his own name and a few other words, and read some words already. Plus do some simple mathematics. He has a very good memory so that may be why. And no we haven’t taught him a thing. He’s learnt it all being at nursery with a great key worker. His speech is clearer than many 5 year olds and his vocabulary is really extensive. But tbh, we have spent so much time talking to him so that has helped I think.

Mine are pretty average really.

Eldest - 19 - socially excellent, academically has the brains but cba. Currently works in a posh bar. He's happy, so I'm happy. Could probably be an A student if he wanted but it would take A LOT of effort in his part.

DS - 17 - ASD. Artistically talented and very bright in maths. Otherwise perfectly average and doing a level 2 in engineering at college. Also has a case of CBA. Seems okay really, we're looking at apprenticeships as a next step.

DD - 12, ASD, dyslexia, dyspraxia. Below average really but so long as she has friends and is happy I don't care.

DS - 9 - potentially dyslexic, it's something we're looking into, SEN, has an EHCP. Artistically gifted, particularly with making sculptures. Below average otherwise, again, so long as he's happy, we're happy.

DD - 8, ASD. Definitely a bit slow. On second cycle at school before an EHCP can be applied for. She's well below average but a beautifully kind person. So long as she's kind and happy I honestly don't care. Reading level is very good though, her problem is being unable to focus. Also has working memory issues.

DS - 5 - seems bright but who knows at this age? Definitely got some of his sisters traits in regards to memory. He's a marvellously happy little chap though and seems happy so again, he doesn't need to be the next Einstein, just happy would do.

My eldest is very bright. He reads at a ks2 level and is in reception. He also does maths with year 2 and knows most of his tones tables etc

His brother is two and so far is slightly either meeting or above all his checks.

It’s them not you! Most kids are average and personally I would rather mine were average-ish, bright-ish and have good social skills than be super smart. I have a top 1 % IQ but came from a normal working class family and no one knew what to do with me, I struggled socially as a teenager to the point of being almost mute, and cracked under the weight of the expectations on me and spent quite a lot of time as a child wondering if I bloody existed. I now have an average life and an average life. ( a happy one for the most part).

I also think there are a lot of middle class parents out there whose ‘ very bright’ children are not actually bright. they’re coached with tutors, and go to extra
classes after school or on weekends. They’re taught to pass exams, and get a jump in their class mates. That’s not producing well rounded, creative, happy adults IMHO.

DS1 bright but Lazy
DD1 a bit dim but lovely and tries super hard
DS3 v Bright, scholarship boy but anxious and over eager to please, he's by far the brightest, the most needy and the one I worry about.
DS4 Average, only one who is reasonably arty. Totally confident.

Well if you look at the average secondary school, you can tell that clearly not every child is academically gifted and it would be a wierd society if they were. Are all your friends super brainy and in top jobs? There's got to be some sort of a genetic link to intelligence, although I'm not saying it's the whole story.
Mine are a mixed bunch - traits of ASD and dyslexia. They work hard though and get really irritated at kids in their classes who CBA. But that's another thread...

Although I would say despite having a normal-ish job I bloody rock at Universiry challenge... it’ll be useful one day...

University- bloody phone!

Eldest DD is bright. Not gifted bright, but top of the class bright.

Youngest is the eldest in her year but average on the intelligence scale I think 😂 she’s near the top of her class but lacks focus at the moment and is ridiculously easy to distract 🙈🙄

DD1 (15)- is a high achiever, she could write short stories in reception year and is predicted A*’s at GCSE level this year. She is an August birthday child so has typically been the youngest in her class. She has very poor social skills and no common sense. She’s also very lazy!

Dd2 13- has dyslexia and a short term memory issue. She’s gone from a student who achieves mostly D’s to an average B student in the last couple of years. She has fantastic people skills and is a top athlete in the region.

Dd3 (11) above average but not a genius. Good social and interpersonal skills.

Dd4 (7) currently top of her class but again not a genius. She has good social skills.

The only thing I hope for is that they are good people who treat people with kindness and respect. I couldn’t give a monkeys what university the go to (if they decide to go). As long as they are happy in their life!

If I had a fiver for every mother/grandma I've heard say, 'I'm not saying it because s/he's mine. but s/he's so clever! So quick - really intelligent!' I suppose there is only one beautiful child and every mother has it. What harm?

Mine are all adults. The brightest was diagnosed with M S at 24. This has reduced life choices significantly. It also makes me think that there are more important things in life than intelligence.

I discussed this thread with a friend - male, a bit older than me and he told me he was below average in everything. Didn’t talk until he was three etc. Never offered a great job so did studying part time (engineering) at night while holding a day job. Gave it up after a while and started his business - he’s now almost 65 and just sold it to retire..... he is almost a billionaire.