To ask how bright you think your children are?

[Cheekysquirrel]

I ask because all my friends seem to think their children are exceptionally bright.
My children are average, average at best. I said as much to mil and she was aghast.
I think average (academically) is fine. I mean most people ARE average. Ds has ASD and has bigger issues than not setting the world alight academically. I’d be happy if he just had any friends.
Dd isn’t at preschool yet but she isn’t as bright as ds - takes her ages to learn anything and I think she’s going to really struggle with maths.

Meanwhile all my friends are telling me how clever their kids are.
Is it them or me?!

My children are exceptionally bright. Much cleverer than the other bright children.

So many people jumping at the chance to boast about their kids here, only proving the OP's point. 😂😂😂

Well, we both come from families where everyone was above average academically (FWIW high exam results, going to Oxbridge or Russell Group unis).

DD (10) doesn't have any 'obvious' things like being a maths whizz or speaking a foreign language, but pretty much every time people meet her for the first time they comment on how articulate and intelligent she is.

DS (7) has trouble with maths and writing, but his reading is OK. He can be very perceptive and follow complicated storylines and notice subtexts of stuff; I think he is bright, but in an unconventional way that may not necessarily demonstrate itself through exams. Because there are lots of ways of being intelligent - I'm in awe of anyone who can make or fix things, for example, I can't do anything very useful or requiring ingenuity!

One of my kids is very able indeed. Two are bright end of average. One is autistic and has a photographic memory but terrible communication problems. They are all delightful.

Average at best. Kinder than most. So 🤷‍♀️

Average. Keeps up but doesn't excel at anything. I'm good with this. Her friends are ahead of her slightly- both very bright, but it doesn't affect their interactions. She's never going to coast- but I don't see that as a bad thing.

Doesn’t this depend on where your ‘bar’ is set yourself?

I have 2 step children. I’m forever being told by their parents how bright they are.

I have a degree, a masters degree and consider myself well educated and ‘bright’ (whatever that really means).

IMO DSS is bright for his age (10). I’d say DSD (13) is about average.

Mum who isn’t well educated says they are both incredibly bright. That wasn’t meant to sound derogatory or patronising.

IMO I think it depends on your own level of education / brightness.

In my DCs primary school there are no top sets or class rankings.

DS1 is summer born, yr 9, top sets. He likes learning. He is crippled by shyness and I wish he could swap top sets for confidence. He was uninterested in school until yr 5. He has an incredibly good memory. DS2 is in yr 6. He likes maths, no idea if he's particularly good at it compared to his peers (how could i know?). DSS is in yr 3. She is very disinterested in school apart from the social stuff.

They're all funny, kind and interesting. I hope they find their niche in life and are happy.

All 3 very bright - backed up by their teachers over the years. I’ve always pretty much left them to it, never get involved with homework or push them at all. DS1 literally did no revision for GCSEs and still came out with mainly As and Bs. He has aspergers so life isn’t easy for him and he may well not translate exam success into a traditional career path, but I know he’ll excel at whatever he decides to do.

When people meet them they always say how clever/posh/mature they all are, which is lovely to hear but I don’t take any credit for it

dd is a big dose of the smarts. confirmed by testing, and early attempt to find why she is different. 6 years later and we have a diagnosis. she is not scarily bright though like some other children we know.

ds, is probably within 10% of her but he may be the exception to the rule. He occasionally gives us glimpses of how bright he is, but it is difficult to tell and set a level. he is not really into academics which could either be because he cba or because he can't. He is autistic and dealing with that is enough of a worry. I am more concerned that he is not disturbing other children and buggering about.

oh and being kind, caring and learning to deal with sensory overload in appropriate ways.

I’m convinced my 7 month old is a genius as she’s crawling and is so much more active/ inquisitive than other babies her age.

All I want is for her to be happy though. So I hope she isn’t a genius. Smart people struggle more I think. Ignorance really is bliss.

Both mine are at high school, DS1 brighter than most in his year, top sets, appears to do very little work but breezes tests and exams, fabulous report. DS2, really struggles and really has to work hard, he gets pissed off that his brother appears to do so little but achieves so much.

But they are both really confident and can literally talk to anyone about anything, young or old and any background. This is the most important thing for me as I was crippling shy and spent most of my childhood silent or hiding away in the shadows. I've made up for it since

DS1(15) is bright, just seems to be able to turn his hand to pretty much anything lucky devil. He's lazy though and relies on the fact that he always seems to do well in everything

DS2(10) struggles massively but just about clings on to be Mr Average. He's got some AN and has a brain injury. He's also missed a lot of school over the last few years.

They're very chalk and cheese and I'm very proud of them both

My dd is exceptionally good at academic stuff, as I was, but there is absolutely no way anyone will ever hear me talk about this in real life. I do not discuss her academic abilities with anyone except her teachers, my husband and my parents. I find the boasting thing very weird. If a child is really an outlier, it's much, much easier to just keep quiet about it.

In any case, I think academic intelligence is massively overrated. As a parent, it's not something to be proud of, it's just a freak of nature. And it doesn't guarantee success, otherwise I'd be ruling the world by now.. I think confidence, resilience, work ethic and interpersonal skills are all far more important than intelligence.

It isn't my dd's intelligence that fills me with pride, it's her kindness, her thoughtfulness, her persistence and resilience in the face of difficulty and her commitment to doing the right thing. I confess that you might hear me boasting about those qualities, but never about the academic stuff.

I think ds is fairly bright.

I'm not thick, dp and sil are both very bright and so are good few of my family.

He is five so hard to tell but has been remarked that he has a very extensive vocabulary and is very eloquent for his age.

He is miles above the curve for maths. Has known numbers up to 100 since he was about 3, and has been doing reasonably complex sums (2+2+3=7 and 9-4=5 type things) of his own accord for around 18 months just from playing with beads /blocks. He is starting to pick up times tables using his own logic, it hasn't been shown or taught to him. He can easily complete age 7+jigsaws with no help quite quickly too. There is a STEM streak a mile wide in his family tree though with most of his relatives having something to do with either science or engineering.

He's average with letters /reading but not behind or needing extra help and he's rubbish at sports. He's a slow runner, not especially strong, and his coordination is non exsistant like mine

I like this thread. Everyone does indeed proclaim their children to be bright. Except me!

I am quite clever but not exceptionally so. My eldest is bright at languages but utterly horrific at maths. My other pair seem average. Really normal.

They are happy kids though. And I know myself that intelligence is no measure of success or happiness in life.

Yeah it's funny competitive parents when their kids are babies are dreadful. Then they start school as these parents suddenly shut up and stop trying to make you feel bad! My son is very bright and top 0.5% of the country for certain academics pursuits. He also gets taken individually do maths. However, he can't tie his tie or shoelaces and often gets into trouble, which causes me endless stress. I'm impressed by these Asian parents who get their children chess titles at 10. I know several I think the key is train, coach study repeat! Impressive how they motivate their children. They are all very loving and committed parents.

Currently average I think, though at 3 and 1 it's hard to tell.

I was apparently a "gifted" child and was bumped up a few years at school when I was at a private pre-prep (that was fun being a tiny four year old with loads of 6 year olds ). Then when I switched to mainstream state I became very, very average.

My boy is bright but I'm so so much more proud of his social skills. He has a close friendship group and they take it in turn to choose the game they play. I'm super proud of him(like most parents) but frankly the only other people who want to know about it we possibly his grandparents, if then. I never talk amongst friends

DS1 was reading at 3, free reader by 4.5, absorbs knowledge like a sponge, very hard working, musically talented but also anxious and shy. He’s very popular because he’s such a good kid but doesn’t realise how popular he is.
DS2 came along and spent months in a neonatal intensive care unit as he was so premature. Had a brain bleed at birth. Is nowhere near as bright as DS1 was but is full of life, incredibly happy and a much more hands on learner. He’s also made a huge difference to DS1 in helping him come out of his shell. He’ll probably be academically average but possibly more successful than DS1.
To be honest, I don’t care that much. They are bloody good kids and I am proud of them.

What's average? At primary dd was considered above average but not massively so (at English and maths I mean). Ds was very under average and was working at a level 2 years behind his peers. He was diagnosed asd at 8. By year 6 he had improved a lot and did very well in his SATs. He does ok at secondary but I'd say under average. He is very clever though. He just won't do that well academically. He is amazing with computers and knows so much about so many things but his memory is awful and there are some things he just doesn't "get". But I have no doubt he'll do well anyway as he is full of determination and confidence when he wants to do something. Dd does much better but she averages 6 (old grade b). She brilliant at art and tries really hard at everything else. One of her best friends is super clever and gets 9s for everything without even trying which frustrates dd but I figure better be average and learn about making mistakes and working hard than just sail through and expect everything in life will come easy! I certainly don't find my friends think their kids are all geniuses though!

One exceptionally bright (confirmed, not just my opinion). One completely average. Both lovely but the one who isn’t cumbered with quite as much brain has been significantly easier to raise.

I should say DS1 is 7 and DS2 just turned 2. Academically DS1 is at least a couple of years ahead (he can do Year 4 work with ease) but his artistic and sporting skills are non existent. He is the kindest and most patient of big brothers though. As I said he’s also musically talented. He’s Grade 3 on one instrument and Grade 2 on another.
DS2 as I said above is a micro preemie with a brain haemorrhage. He has caught up developmentally despite a few repeat hospital admissions. He runs rings around his big brother and is incredibly popular with adults because he’s charming without being destructively naughty.