To ask if anyone on here suffers from mal adaptive daydreaming ? And would they like to talk about how it effects them and the things they do to deal with it?

[Ribbonsonabox]

Posting in AIBU rather than mental health because I know that some people do not see mal adaptive daydreaming as a problem and find it helps them.

I'd just like to hear of peoples positive stories about how they have dealt with it?

Its not something I can talk about much in real life because it's one of those things that people dont think exists unless they have it themselves. It's not widely researched.

I've always had it and I think it stems from having quite a difficult and lonely childhood during which I used it as a coping mechanism.... in my adult life though it has really held me back. It's like a compulsion that I cannot exert control over.

I wondered if anyone had had any success in controlling it?

Ginacarbonara no! And I think theres varying extents of it between people that do do it as well.... ut try telling someone about this who doesn't do it and they will literally have no idea what you are on about.
I've tried to talk about this to my husband before and he doesn't understand at all... despite working in mental health! He doesn't get how vivid, immersive and compulsive it is. Just thinks sometimes people daydream 'oh what if I were a rockstar's or 'what if I lived in that nice house'but these are the work of a few moments. Maladpative daydreaming continues constantly and has plot lines that span decades and have been happening alongside real life for years etc...

I have never heard of this and definitely don't do it with characters and storylines. I do always have an internal soundtrack playing however which was great last week when the radio wasn't working and I could play a whole Pink Floyd album in my head. Not great when trying to sleep however.

I am now wondering if some of my students have this as one in particular is really not mentally in the room during lessons.

I used to be like that a lot.
I think it was a mixture of imagination and lack of vit d3.

taking that def helps concentration. I still daydream, but it's not as compulsive anymore.

There was a thread a while back where the ops child was whispering to themselves and pacing up and down constantly. When questioned the child acknowledged that she knew the people she was talking to weren't real and it was just a game... but the op was really frightened the child might have serious mental health issues... the child would also sometimes zone out during the day and talk to herself etc...
It really fitted the type of things I used to do so I tried to say on the thread about maladaptive daydreaming... but it's sad that people just dont get what it is at all... some people think it's just normal daydreaming and some people think it's a serious thing like schizophrenia or psychosis. There probably should be more research and open talk about it... but I think a lot of people are quite ashamed of it, I know I am... I'd find it really hard to talk about in real life... the only person I've ever spoken to about ut was my husband and he just didnt get what I was on about at all....

I'd like to hear of it's something commonly discussed amongst people diagnosed with ADHD or OCD though

I do this all the time, I don’t see it as an issue. And it helps with writing!

I do this at night to help me sleep. It calms my mind to concentrate on my story.

I do this a lot and often I worry about how much and how invested I get in the scenarios. I do this mostly at bedtime as a way to fall asleep and some days I actually look forward to getting to bed so I can transport myself into my scenario for a while.
For me it’s just escapism. I have what you would probably call a ‘normal boring’ life I suppose. Boring job, few friends/limited social life, nice DH, 2 children, mortgage etc so my scenarios take me away from the monotony. I usually have won the lottery, I’m thinner and prettier in my head and have all the traits I would like in real life but don’t.
I’m confident, charming, and funny in my thoughts. In reality I’m painfully shy, boring and as someone once called me, the most ‘middle’ person they’ve ever met.

I used to do this a lot when I was younger but I do it a lot less now I am middle aged. I used to like doing repetitive jobs like shelf stacking so I could dream while I was working.

Oh I never realised this had a name! Yes I do it a lot, usually while dancing. I find it helps me on many levels, I work through problems, upsetting situations or sometimes just create complete fantasies. I wouldn't want to be without it, it boosts my self esteem because I envisage scenarios and think about how I want to come across in them so when I am in similar situations I know how I want to act. Very useful. Also can be a massive timewaste and procrastination tool, six of one half dozen of the other!

Ditto with pacing and whispering, I always have music on, I suppose some people would think it's weird come to think of it!

I do it far more when stressed. Definitely a coping mechanism. Started as a child.

Interesting to link with ADHD or OCD.
I don't have either but I do check thinks repeatedly when stressed too. Things unplugged, doors locked etc.

My 'normal' dreams have always been extraordinarily vivid too. I remember them clearly.

I do have mixed feelings about it though. In one way I wish I didn't do it as I can tend to check out of normal life sometimes and that must affect my loved ones.
On the other hand it has got me through some tough times.

My longest running storyline is now 25 years old. Various stages of life etc. Most are temporary as I get bored or will start a new story. Sometimes it will as simple as taking myself through various scenarios to figure out the best solution.

Wait there's a name for this?

I do it, but it’s under control. It helps me.
If I’m worried about something and it’s keeping me awake, I go into my fantasy world to take my mind off it and then I can get to sleep.
I’m never bored.
My imagination helps me to see myself as a very strong, capable, great person. I imagine myself doing amazing things and it gives me the confidence to do smaller amazing things in real life.
I’m also writing a novel. I’d never be able to do this without my imagination.

This is so interesting. I didn't realise there was name. I check the boxes for a way of coping with lonely difficult childhood. The past year I've been writing everything down trying to put together a novel. The characters live in my head chatting away. It's a bit bonkers but the novel makes me feel like I'm being productive with it at least. A way to make a maladaptive behaviour more adaptive?

I've found my people!

I do it too, though I think mine is milder than yours op.
I don't think I would want to be without it honestly. I imagine it must be boring to only think about what to have for dinner or that the car needs an mot.
I can see how it could get out of hand though.
Do you think it could be linked to how you are feeling about your life right now? Are you doing it to escape from reality? I don't know if making changes might help? Are you stressed.
Another poster mentioned being able to play music in their head.
I can do this too.

I always do this and alwayhave. I just assumed everyone did. Oh my goodness.

I've always done this, usually before going to sleep at night. Some days I'm looking forward to bedtime because I'm in the middle of a particularly good story, and then I'm disappointed when I fall asleep before I manage to tell myself any of it.

I think it's like any hobby or interest - harmless unless or until it interferes with real life.

The author of girls' stories E. J. Oxenham had a character called Mary Devine who spent too much time in a fantasy world. She broke out of it because she met new people who introduced her to new interests - specifically country dancing, which combined physical exercise with having to think about what she was doing. Then she channelled her daydreams into writing fiction and became a successful novelist.

Interesting. I'd never heard of this before but it sounds like what I used to do as a child. I remember being about 5 and a girl wanted to play with me at break time at school and I didnt want to because it would interrupt my 'story time' which i did every day and which involved walking round by myself immersed in vivid imaginary worlds.

I don't really do it much now apart from at night to help me sleep.

Incidentally I have had ocd since childhood

Iowna I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you, that's absolutely heartbreaking

I have heard of this briefly in the dissociation groups I am in. They both seem to go hand in hand. I do it an awful lot.

It's helped me loads solve problems. I am also a writer and it allows me to write vividly.

You guys ought to write books!

@Iownabigvase omg I've embarrassed myself in public too. When I was about 18 and friend said to me 'I saw you in town the other day, I was going to say hello but didn't bother as you were busy muttering to yourself'

You guys ought to write books!

Some of us do!

There have been other threads about this, I posted on at least one of them under a different name. Just do a search for 'maladaptive daydreaming'.

I do this and I worry that it keeps me from fully taking part in the real world..

The story of the Little Match Girl resonates with me for this reason - preferring the warmth of the fantasy instead of taking real action to improve her life - until she dies..