To ask if anyone on here suffers from mal adaptive daydreaming ? And would they like to talk about how it effects them and the things they do to deal with it?

[Ribbonsonabox]

Posting in AIBU rather than mental health because I know that some people do not see mal adaptive daydreaming as a problem and find it helps them.

I'd just like to hear of peoples positive stories about how they have dealt with it?

Its not something I can talk about much in real life because it's one of those things that people dont think exists unless they have it themselves. It's not widely researched.

I've always had it and I think it stems from having quite a difficult and lonely childhood during which I used it as a coping mechanism.... in my adult life though it has really held me back. It's like a compulsion that I cannot exert control over.

I wondered if anyone had had any success in controlling it?

@SlinkyDinkyDoo I don't have maladaptive daydreaming. But, when I do daydream you don't close your eyes, you keep them open but it's like a ... glaze? Comes over them and you're watching the situation unfold (like a less clear TV in an in between space between your brain and the outside world.

I do this too. Sometimes far too much. I’m only working a few hours a week at the mo and with all the time I have on my hands I’m wasting away sitting still daydreaming.

I also spend hours in the morning pressing snooze on my alarm. If I wake for a bit then fall back asleep my dreams become really vivid and real. If I’m feeling really anxious or low I become almost addicted to these intense dreams that I force on myself each morning.

Today was particularly bad. I saw the teens off to school and college then went back to bed. Not because I’m tired, I do it so I can dream more. I try to keep myself in these dreams as long as possible. It was gone 11am before I forced myself up and in to the real world.

Does anyone else do that?

I didn't know there was a word for this. I have done it all my life. The only want to combat it is to be so overworked you are literally terrified not to get on with what you have to do or you will lose your job.

Whenever I have slack time, my brain goes straight back there.

If it's any consolation, I don't think it's at all rare. AO3 is probably 99.99999% people indulging in "maladaptive daydreaming".

I had to Google the term.....Wow, I never realised there was a name for this. I've done it my whole life. I've had the same main character since I was about 10. He's grown up with me although his age has remained at 35 (I'm 53) I'm not sure that it's entirely maladaptive as it's never seemed to have had a disruptive affect on my life. I tend to dip in and out most days, never for very long unless I'm doing something like housework or going out for a walk on my own. I was an imaginative child and I probably assumed I would grow out of it but I never did. "His" story just became more fleshed out and characters and storylines have been added over the years. I've never told anyone about this because I suspected that no one else did it and I was just weird. My alternative world doesn't impinge on my real world, it's just something I enjoy doing.

I think it is important to distinguish between something that is particularly vivid and involved daydreaming and something that is maladaptive.

I don't believe it should be considered maladaptive daydreaming unless it is impinging on your life in a negative way and impacting in your ability to function normally. I suspect there are lots of people who have long running and involved day dreams they dip in and out of and less people whose compulsion to access and take part in these dreams leaves them to some extent unhappy and unable to take part in normal life.

It's the difference between being someone who really likes a clean house and having OCD, or being a worrier compared to suffering from clinical anxiety.

I love my daydreaming when I can control it. When I can't control it I am literally unable to live in the real world because of the intensity of the compulsion to dream. This is when it becomes maladaptive.

@BoswellsBollocks

Your experience sounds similar to what can happen to me when I have an intense episode. I just end up in bed unable to do anything else at all. It's like a sort of hibernation mode. I find if I can hold off daydreaming first thing in the morning until after I have got up and dressed and eaten breakfast it can then be easier to control during the rest of the day. I think it just helps to start the day in the right world if you know what I mean.

It's so hard though when it's just there all the time and you can't stop it from pulling you in.

I can't believe I found this thread. Each day I look forward to when I can have an hour or so to day dream. I could waft around the house all day long. I even control my day dreams so I decide what I will day dream about. Sometimes though it becomes painful as it's not real and never will be- usually when I'm acting out scenarios with sexy fellas

Late to the party as usual but so enlightening. I had no idea this had a name. I've done this my entire life, I just thought it was me being "weird". I'm fortunate in that it doesn't impact on real life too much. The story I tell isn't about me so much, my main character is male, but he's been around for so long that I would genuinely miss him and his cast of characters

I have always done this.

I had a very emotionally abusive childhood. I do not have ADHD but I do have dyspraxia, not sure if there is any connection.

I enjoy it, and use it as a coping mechanism when life gets shitty as I can control the plots in my alternative life.

Yes - I write books and the scenes play out in my head all the time. Ive done it since childhood and it's been a positive part of my life.

However, this year I found the negative side to this trait. I started playing out scenes that involved real life scenarios and they pulled me into quite a sharp depression that had taken a few months to claw back out of.

I need to make sure this tendency remains focused on my story characters and writing.