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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Newborn and custard

409 replies

MrsXx4 · 29/01/2019 20:52

Mainly posting here for traffic because I really don’t think I am being at all unreasonable!! I am fuming! I left my 5 week old baby in my husbands ‘capable’ hands for 2 minutes while I went to hang some washing up and when I came downstairs husband was feeding him custard (an M&S microwave custard - not baby food) from his finger! Letting baby suck it from his finger!

I am so angry but do I also need to worry about baby? Husband has got angry saying I have over reacted in being so mad! Baby was sleeping on me a second ago as I took him off of husband but now he has taken him off me and baby is screaming!!

OP posts:

Ghanagirl · 30/01/2019 10:41

@anniehm
I’m unsure why you’re so proud of giving your babies junk food

OutPinked · 30/01/2019 10:43

I remember my friend crying because her MIL had given her DD a chip and she wanted to give her the first food but also didn’t want it to be a chip. She was admittedly older than 5 weeks though .

YANBU. He needs parenting classes. Newborns can’t handle anything other than milk, surely everyone knows that.

OutPinked · 30/01/2019 10:45

Or if a particularly hungry baby, baby rice mixed with milk from 6 weeks!

My DM used to do this with me. But it’s not the nineties now, we have moved on...

WorraLiberty · 30/01/2019 10:47

OutPinked of course we have.

Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 30/01/2019 10:49

This may out me I took elder DD and her friend to Mcdonalds for a treat when the youngest was a newborn.

Another customer helpfully advised me that I could order chips without salt for the little one.

Ghanagirl · 30/01/2019 10:50

@doIreallyneedto
Which latest research NHS guidance is still six months unless your GP or Health Visitor suggests otherwise.

TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 30/01/2019 10:53

"Op, I get what you mean about your pure milky baby, and I don't think it's weird. He's only had milk so far - he's all milky and smells delicious - he's your little milky baby, all he's had has come from you! Until custard-gate... I totally get it."

I don't ever want to read or hear the word "milky" ever again.

Aquilla · 30/01/2019 10:53

Let me guess, OP, you're going to be one of those people who wait until baby is 6 months old and one day to give the poor bugger his first decent meal...

Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 30/01/2019 10:54

But it’s not the nineties now, we have moved on...

There are some professionals who believe that the guidelines should revert to weaning from 16 weeks, so that young children get to try a range of foods at a young age.

NotANotMan · 30/01/2019 11:00

Let me guess, OP, you're going to be one of those people who wait until baby is 6 months old and one day to give the poor bugger his first decent meal...

You mean as per WHO weaning guidelines? What's wrong with that?

TadaTralala · 30/01/2019 11:04

Wait till you give baby Calpol! That's probably got zillion times the sugar of custard in it :-)

Bluelady · 30/01/2019 11:05

How did our kids born in the 70s survive? First solids at 12 weeks, often earlier if they were hungry, and laid down on their tummies. Go back to my generation and apparently my husband was given a finger soaked with Dimple Haig (whisky) to suck.

BertieBotts · 30/01/2019 11:05

Don't worry. Toddlers sneak their newborn siblings all manner of contraband, it was ever thus. The real issue is your DH is a grown man, ostensibly a responsible father and should have known better.

It is such a tiny amount nothing is likely to come of it but I would definitely direct "D"H to a lecture from the health visitor or bombard him with info about the dangers of feeding substances other than breastmilk/formula before 17 weeks. Unadapted cow's milk in particular (which would be present in custard) is a problem and can cause bleeding in the GI tract. A suck from a finger I doubt but if he was thinking of doing it regularly, he could do real harm.

adaline · 30/01/2019 11:06

But it’s not the nineties now, we have moved on...

Yes, and the advice is still changing now. Most of us were raised on what is now seen as "outdated advice" and we're all absolutely fine. The advice changes all the time based on the latest research.

I imagine that in ten years, how people are raising their children today will be considered old-fashioned and out of date, or even dangerous, just like the advice given in the 80's/90's is seen like that today.

Beerflavourednipples · 30/01/2019 11:07

I would be calling 111

This, THIS, is why I still love MN! 😂

Beerflavourednipples · 30/01/2019 11:10

How did our kids born in the 70s survive? First solids at 12 weeks, often earlier if they were hungry, and laid down on their tummies.

Um, did you really just go there with the 'laid down on their tummies' thing?

ReaganSomerset · 30/01/2019 11:16

How did our kids born in the 70s survive? First solids at 12 weeks, often earlier if they were hungry, and laid down on their tummies.

Well, some didn't. Hence the need for the sids guidance.

Nothisispatrick · 30/01/2019 11:16

Bluelady

Lots of children didn’t survive. That’s why guidelines changed, particularly regarding the sleeping on tummies.

Isn’t bowel cancer on of the biggest killers in people over a certain age? IBS also seems pretty common. Perhaps there are links with the fact they were given baby rice and McDonald’s as newborns with underdeveloped digestive systems.

The ‘well we were alright’ attitude is not a good argument for anything really. Guidelines change because lots of people were not alright.

Nothisispatrick · 30/01/2019 11:17

Ah I see two pp got there before me

Bluelady · 30/01/2019 11:21

Yes, I really did go there. We were taught to put pur babies down on their fronts. My point, which I clearly made badly, is that standards change all the time. There will be things people do with babies today that will have the next generation of mums gasping in horror. It's ever been thus.

Confusedbeetle · 30/01/2019 11:21

Histrionic responses here. He was silly but this is not going to harm your baby as a one-off. Of course, he needs to understand the baby is not ready for any food apart from breast or formula at this stage, The WHO ruling of nothing until 6months is about to be returned to 4 months I believe

ReaganSomerset · 30/01/2019 11:28

There will be things people do with babies today that will have the next generation of mums gasping in horror.

Oh, definitely. All anyone can do is their best, either by following the health and safety guidelines as they stand or doing some in-depth research and making an informed choice based on that. However, OP's DH doesn't appear to have done either.

Confusedbeetle · 30/01/2019 11:28

Nota Notman

"You mean as per WHO weaning guidelines? What's wrong with that?"

Quite a lot actually as it was based on third world babies. It has been revised due to links to an increase in allergies. As had been said many times we can only work with current research. Do not think for one moment that there is a right and a wrong. New knowledge comes up all the time. Sometimes new policies reveal new problems so please don't all castigate the mothers of the 70s. You will me the MILs of the future who know nothing and your daughters and daughters in law will have a bit of respect. We all do our best with the knowledge we have.

ReaganSomerset · 30/01/2019 11:31

TBH, I think the debate around weaning ages isn't relevant here, as OP's baby is five weeks old and I don't think anyone is advocating weaning at that age.

AssassinatedBeauty · 30/01/2019 12:03

Pointing out that guidelines and research have moved on isn't castigating parents of the past! Odd to interpret it so.

The WHO guidelines were not just based on developing countries. It hasn't been revised due to allergies. Some research has shown that there might be some benefit to babies with a family history of food allergy to be given small amounts of the main allergens from 4 months alongside breastfeeding. General advice on weaning has not changed, it is still "around 6 months" when baby meets the NHS definition of being ready.

And anyway, I agree that all of this discussion about weaning guidelines is totally irrelevant to a 5 week old!

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