Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Newborn and custard

409 replies

MrsXx4 · 29/01/2019 20:52

Mainly posting here for traffic because I really don’t think I am being at all unreasonable!! I am fuming! I left my 5 week old baby in my husbands ‘capable’ hands for 2 minutes while I went to hang some washing up and when I came downstairs husband was feeding him custard (an M&S microwave custard - not baby food) from his finger! Letting baby suck it from his finger!

I am so angry but do I also need to worry about baby? Husband has got angry saying I have over reacted in being so mad! Baby was sleeping on me a second ago as I took him off of husband but now he has taken him off me and baby is screaming!!

OP posts:
kateandme · 30/01/2019 03:29

it wont have ruined him.hes not going to be hooked on sugar now.the obesity crisis hasn't hit your home already.
he made a dick move.is he sorry.talk to him.
hes been a twit but is he upset he has.if id have done such thoughtless thing id be feeling really guilty.

magpie24 · 30/01/2019 04:22

YANBU he doesn't sound very bright. I'd also be upset

MoaningSickness · 30/01/2019 04:58

I'm amazed by all the parents on here that are such experts in gut issues that they know better than medical studies that their kids fed food early will never have any issues as a result throughout their lives.

You know, unless they are just bullshitting and haven't a clue whether their choices will cause issues or not just because nothing was instantly apparent, and they will never connect future stomach issues to what they did.

things like one suck of custardy finger isn't instant death.

Some of us are aiming for slightly better parenting than just 'not instant death', actually.

3luckystars · 30/01/2019 05:25

I am thinking your dh wanted to hold the baby so thought if he gave him custard, the baby would be 'full'' and stay on his lap for the evening, insead of you.

So is your husband is jealous. Is this possible?

Otherwise, he is just an idiot (and we have all made mistakes) but you must get rules in place regarding medication (if you give calpol, write it on the calendar etc) in the future, because you need to be able to trust him if your baby is sick, you are tired etc.

Fluffymullet · 30/01/2019 07:01

I'd be furious and I'm pretty relaxed about most things. Yes it was a mistake and a tiny bit of custard is unlikely to do harm. It's the fact went against clear advice which he will have been told attending antenatal classes. It plants the seed of if he got that wrong, what will he get wrong next time?
leaving the op feeling like she is managing 2 children rather than having a supportive partner she can share parenting with.

Definite talk needed. If he acknowledges it was stupid fair enough. If he doesn't get why you were annoyed then thst would be a huge red flag for leaving the baby alone

yearinyearout · 30/01/2019 07:07

I once left the room briefly while my three year old was eating dinner. When I came back in the baby (who had starting weaning but was only at purée stage) was being fed spaghetti bolognese, he survived. A tiny bit of custard isn’t going to do any harm. I assume you’ve made it clear to him not to do it again!

Pomfluff · 30/01/2019 07:24

Yanbu, I would completely flip if someone gave my 5 week old solids. However it‘s unlikely to do any harm...I was born in China where there were no rules at all what you‘re supposed to feed babies. People just did it by instinct. I was given cow milk at 1-3 days old, eggs and clementine slices at a few weeks old and even tiny amounts of beer “for a laugh“. Other than that I was EBF and turned out fine. Never had any digestion problems and zero allergies.

londonrach · 30/01/2019 07:33

Yes he shouldnt have done it but it wont harm baby. Not idea. My dsis found her toddler dd had fed her new born milkshake whilst her back was turned. However the concern is what else he had feed baby andhow much. Also why he refuses to give baby back. X

Jezzifishie · 30/01/2019 07:37

It's not great, but I do think you're overreacting. My 'milky baby' was 'ruined' at 3 days old, by being given sugar water in a&e when she was overly sleepy and not responding. You do need to have a blunt chat with your DH about expectations, but I do think you are being a bit unreasonable.

Pernickity1 · 30/01/2019 07:41

That said, he has as much right as you do to cuddle the baby, you are equal parents

They really aren’t equal parents if he’s idiotic enough to give his 5 week old custard. Mothers trump fathers in situations like this in my opinion.

He’s a fucking gobshite OP I’d be fuming too!

BarbarianMum · 30/01/2019 07:51

Gut fauna and flora

It's actually yeasts (fungi) and bacteria, so neither fauna or flora, flora just sounds nicer. We are mostly made of bacteria in fact, even at 5 weeks. Smile

NotANotMan · 30/01/2019 08:07

A typical cunty mumsnet thread, ripping a poor woman apart and ignoring the elephant in the room, which is that the man got angry with her when she called him out on his (stupid, irresponsible, unnecessary) actions and insisted he took the baby off her because her cuddling him was making him feel bad, even though the baby is now crying.

Also, this woman gave birth 5 fucking weeks ago and you're all tearing her apart for saying things like her baby has been ruined - of course she doesn't mean that but she's probably still bleeding lochia and her hormones are still fucked and she's still establishing breastfeeding and the idiot father gives their (tiny, still newborn) baby custard!
I'd have gone fucking postal even if looking back I would probably have overreacted. But in the moment why shouldn't she go postal? This isn't a case of her thinking she knows best than the father - she obviously knows best if he thinks it's ok to feed a tiny baby anything other than milk!

Pernickity1 · 30/01/2019 08:07

I'm amazed by all the parents on here that are such experts in gut issues that they know better than medical studies that their kids fed food early will never have any issues as a result throughout their lives.

Mumsnet really gives an insight into how rubbish so many parents are! Some people just put a piss poor effort in, it usually shows in their children sadly.

Lindtnotlint · 30/01/2019 08:31

This thread is hilarious. I think it might be being used deliberately by spies to identify people susceptible to new forms of mind control.

I think we should give Birds a new slogan:
“Custard. It’s only one step away from Heroin”.

Disclaimer: do not feed your baby custard. DH is an idiot.

Good on OP for recognising the madness.

XmasPostmanBos · 30/01/2019 08:45

There's a difference between starting to wean the baby onto solids too early and and a one off small amount of something unsuitable as in the cases mentioned where someone gave the baby something when the mum was distracted or whatever. The worry would be if the person kept on doing it since it didn't appear to be doing any harm. But if it happens regularly it could well build up to have an adverse effect. That is the concern I would have in the OP situation. Does her dh realise it was wrong to give the custard or will he keep doing this behind the OP's back.

WorraLiberty · 30/01/2019 09:09

Yes that triggers my memory as well! GP told me brown sugar and water to treat constipation at a couple of weeks old.

OMG I'd forgotten all about that too. It bloody worked at well!

The "pure little milky baby being ruined" comment has made my day Grin

Nothisispatrick · 30/01/2019 09:34

A 12 week old having McDonald’s is rank. No matter what the weaning guidelines are. That amount of salt for a young baby is disgusting.

EwItsAHooman · 30/01/2019 09:41

A 12 week old having McDonald’s is rank. No matter what the weaning guidelines are. That amount of salt for a young baby is disgusting.

The person who posted that said the baby is now all grown up, presumably an adult,so when she would have been 12wks old can be chalked up to it being a different time, different attitudes, etc. No need to be needlessly labelling anyone as disgusting.

TotHappy · 30/01/2019 10:00

Op, I get what you mean about your pure milky baby, and I don't think it's weird. He's only had milk so far - he's all milky and smells delicious - he's your little milky baby, all he's had has come from you! Until custard-gate... I totally get it.

adaline · 30/01/2019 10:19

The person who posted that said the baby is now all grown up, presumably an adult,so when she would have been 12wks old can be chalked up to it being a different time, different attitudes, etc. No need to be needlessly labelling anyone as disgusting.

Exactly!

It was only in the 70's that the weaning age for babies was about 12 weeks old. Of course McDonald's isn't the healthiest of food, but it's not the end of the world either. Advice for raising/weaning/feeding babies changes every few years - it'll be different again in 2020 I'm sure.

No need for people to be so smug about it all.

WorraLiberty · 30/01/2019 10:28

adaline, my eldest was born in 1992 and the weaning advice was still 12 weeks even then. Or if a particularly hungry baby, baby rice mixed with milk from 6 weeks!

EwItsAHooman · 30/01/2019 10:30

One of my DC started swiping food at around 4/5 months. He had to be watched like a hawk because he would grab everything he could reach, food and non-food, and put it in his mouth. He succeeded a few times so by the time I started weaning him (a couple of weeks before the 6mo mark) he'd already had tastes of various things including a half-eaten McDonald's fry he snatched out of his brother's hand

AlanThePig · 30/01/2019 10:32

WorraLiberty I agree. DS was born in 93 and I got the same advice.

WorraLiberty · 30/01/2019 10:35

Alan, I'm pretty sure jars of baby food used to say 'from 12 weeks' too?

AlanThePig · 30/01/2019 10:39

Possibly worra, I certainly recall the cauli cheese one being 3months + on the label.