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AIBU?

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Original poster

Newborn and custard

409 replies

MrsXx4 · 29/01/2019 20:52

Mainly posting here for traffic because I really don’t think I am being at all unreasonable!! I am fuming! I left my 5 week old baby in my husbands ‘capable’ hands for 2 minutes while I went to hang some washing up and when I came downstairs husband was feeding him custard (an M&S microwave custard - not baby food) from his finger! Letting baby suck it from his finger!

I am so angry but do I also need to worry about baby? Husband has got angry saying I have over reacted in being so mad! Baby was sleeping on me a second ago as I took him off of husband but now he has taken him off me and baby is screaming!!

OP posts:
StillMissV · 01/02/2019 00:14

Think you're being a bit unreasonable here but I understand why - with my first I was a bit wooo about his 'virgin gut' (while conveniently shovelling calpol down him when teething). My second baby first tasted food at 6 weeks old when my now three year old decided to be helpful and let her taste some of his sticky toffee pudding at Sunday lunch. She looked most perturbed, I can only imagine the overstimulation of the taste buds... Clearly hasn't damaged her as she's now 6 months old and happily BLWing and a healthy weight. Although is more wary of her brother trying to feed her, which is probably a worthwhile survival strategy.

Pashal2 · 01/02/2019 02:35

You're over reacting. Is your child alive? Did you tell your husband it's wrong and not to do it again? Fine! But all this over the top tell this one tell that one. Try forgiveness. Make up raise your child as A TWO ADULT UNIT or you will find yourself a whining single parent wondering why the universe has given you so much adversity. Yell forgive forget move on and love. Don't listen to the bitching brigade that wants to continue to stir the tempest in the tea pot.

brizzledrizzle · 01/02/2019 02:52

Ffs no wonder people say children now are precious little snowflakes. Babies used to be weaned at four weeks and put on to food. The over reaction and outrage on this thread is ridiculous.

SimplySteve · 01/02/2019 03:39

I'd forgotten about the sugar water off a gloved finger! DD had this when she was in SCBU

Had forgotten too. DD was reading this thread over my shoulder, she was never allowed this in SCBU despite it being distraction technique #1. She's an adult now, and has latched onto this as why she detests needles. Watching her flounce off to bed with hands on hips was hilarious.

Garion · 01/02/2019 03:48

@EhlanaOfElenia

Seems to be a lot of D&L Eddings readers around lately Grin

//misses point.

elesbells · 01/02/2019 04:14

Jeez some of the comments...call 111...the diarrhoea it will cause can cause dehydration. Hmm tell the health visitor ect ect blimey it was a dot of custard on a pinky.. talk about scare the shit out of new mum. I too would have probably been annoyed, but I’ve of told him not to do it again and explained why. No need to kick him out over it..what a load of fuss.

TheLittleDogLaughed · 01/02/2019 04:46

Call the police! Get dh remanded in custardy

Someone had to say it.

StateOfTrance · 01/02/2019 06:08

@TheEntertainerr DPs ex used their baby son in the same way. They'd try various other avenues of control, but "weaponising" the baby was the "favourite".

@ChippyMinton "interesting" username.

BerryTowel · 01/02/2019 06:25

I understand why you're annoyed, but it would be good to try to not overreact and make this symbolic of something else (e.g. you don't care about our baby, I do all the parenting work). I know it's hard!

Baby will be absolutely fine.

skunkatanka · 01/02/2019 06:49

In ten years time it may be frowned upon to 'co-sleep'

It is!! Current guidance is to not co sleep but to have your baby in their own cot in your room. Safer co sleeping guidance does not make it fully safe.

ThanksItHasPockets · 01/02/2019 07:20

user1486394281 Read OP’s updates where she has clearly calmed down and then remind yourself that you are talking to a real person who is five weeks PP and hasn’t even healed from her stitches yet.

EhlanaOfElenia · 01/02/2019 07:33

@Garion well hello there you magical boy, you!

I've been feeling nostalgic and was about to pull out some of the books to read again!

hannah1992 · 01/02/2019 07:51

My dd1 was 5 when I had dd2. She had an ice cream from the ice cream man one afternoon dd2 was about a month old. Dd2 was asleep in the swing and dd1 eating her ice cream I thought oh I'll just tidy up a bit while I've got 5. Came back in to dd2 awake and dd1 sticking dd2s dummy in her ice cream and back in dd2s mouth.

There was a conversation that babies couldn't eat food until they're a bit older. But dd2 was fine. Is still fine at 3. It won't harm him but yes your dh was silly

Santina · 01/02/2019 09:10

When my children were young I fed them a couple of spoons of rice before they went to bed from 6 weeks. Yes it was so they were nice and full and slept all night. They have never had any issues with food, never had any allergies and actually enjoyed it. No official told me I was wrong and I certainly dont think I would have been upset if their dad wanted to cuddle them because he had been at work all day. It's not just your child, it belongs to both of you. My son has just had his own baby and you sound a bit like his partner. She won't even let him take her out on his own. I did let him know that the child belongs to both of you. No harm will come to your child giving them food, health Englad are actually going to revisit research on feeding babies as children now have so many allergies.

If you do proper research two studies were put forward to health England years ago on feeding babies, one showed feeding babies after 4 months COULD reduce food allergies the other showed that feeding earlier made had no impact. Health England decided to go with the first.

MumOfOne92 · 01/02/2019 09:13

I fed my 4 month old a smidge of ice cream from the tip of my finger (hardly even a dab) when I finished a bowl so it was the melted bit at the bottom of the bowl and then now at 5 months old I let her lick an Ellas Kitchen Melty Puff (I suppose they are for babies)!

I did feel like I shouldn't have done it afterwards but she wasn't 5 weeks old (wouldn't have done it then) and no diarrhoea!

Devilinatwinset · 01/02/2019 10:06

I'd be pissed off if my 5 month old was given custard. If it was my 5 week old I'd be VERY upset

Jinxsy · 01/02/2019 10:34

Custard...mmmmmmm

I only learned last year that my mother used to feed me a combination of milk and custard FROM THE BOTTLE at 10weeks. It lasted for a couple of months before she moved me on to MASHED POTATO AND GRAVY at 22 weeks.

I was astonished, but she laughed it off and told me I was a hungry baby!

This was in the 1970's, I've turned out reasonably well and there have been no signs of any issues at any stage in my life which could be associated to my dear Mother's aggressive weaning tactics!

I'm sure your DH can be educated to reconsider for a few months and that there'll be no ill effects for your little one.

derxa · 01/02/2019 10:55

He sounds like an idiot but I couldn't get fussed over a bit of custard. Hopefully he won't do it again. You're not allowed to be sensible Worra you have to be 'fumming'

Absofrigginlootly · 01/02/2019 13:42

It's not just your child, it belongs to both of you. My son has just had his own baby and you sound a bit like his partner. She won't even let him take her out on his own. I did let him know that the child belongs to both of you.

Wow you sound like a very judgemental and unsupportive MIL!!

If your DIlL has just had a baby then it is entirely normal to not want to be separated from your newborn!!!! Nothing to do with who has dibs on the baby FFS Hmm I promise you the baby will want to be with it’s mother and no one else at this stage.

Trying encouraging your son to be a decent father and support his wife and baby as a unit during the fourth trimester. Rather than encouraging division and resentment as it sounds like you are currently doing.... it won’t end well for anyone

derxa · 01/02/2019 13:56

I once went to a public phone box to phone my DM because DH was insisting on having poached eggs on smoked haddock for dinner. My poor DS was fussy and wouldn't eat it. Yes I was absolutely bonkers!!

Jellyrunner · 01/02/2019 15:14

Oh god, not heard of the importance of a dad bonding with baby?

Absofrigginlootly · 01/02/2019 15:23

Yes but dad doesn’t need to separate mum and baby before they are ready and upset his wife in the process if she is not ready in order to bond does he??

I’ve never understood this obsession people seem to have with being “alone” with the baby. Newborn babies need to be around their mums basically 24/7. They just do.

cathf · 01/02/2019 16:05

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brizzledrizzle · 01/02/2019 16:08

I’ve never understood this obsession people seem to have with being “alone” with the baby. Newborn babies need to be around their mums basically 24/7. They just do.

Newborn babies need to be around their parents 24/7. Most of the time that will be the mother but it doesn't need to exclude the father. I didn't see my mother for 3 days after I was born and apart from not breast feeding it didn't make any difference.

Absofrigginlootly · 01/02/2019 16:11

Yes cathf that’s exactly what I said wasn’t it