Newborn and custard

[MrsXx4]

Mainly posting here for traffic because I really don’t think I am being at all unreasonable!! I am fuming! I left my 5 week old baby in my husbands ‘capable’ hands for 2 minutes while I went to hang some washing up and when I came downstairs husband was feeding him custard (an M&S microwave custard - not baby food) from his finger! Letting baby suck it from his finger!

I am so angry but do I also need to worry about baby? Husband has got angry saying I have over reacted in being so mad! Baby was sleeping on me a second ago as I took him off of husband but now he has taken him off me and baby is screaming!!

1. Your baby will be fine, calm yourself and explain later in general conversation not to do it again.
2. It's not just your baby so if he wants time with it he can.

babdoc is entirely correct. Latest evidence suggests no harm from weaning at 4 months but it does reduce risk of allergy by encouraging immune tolerance to foods. Here is a link to one paper (although there are many!)

On balance, for babies in developed countries, weaning at 4mo is probably very slightly optimal--but only assuming you are giving iron-rich foods and allergens.

The WHO advice is skewed towards the needs of developing countries, where you kind of want to delay weaning till the absolute last minute because giving anything other than breastmilk greatly increases the risk of gastro intestinal diseases caused by poor hygiene, and more breastfeeding by mothers acts as the best pregnancy spacer in environments where proper birth control is not available. The WHO acknowledges that iron deficiency is somewhat commoner when you delay weaning to 6mo, but has decided that the above two things are more important, on balance, in poor countries. And allergy prevention is not an issue in developing countries as babies are exposed to so many bugs in their environment anyway.

Of course, GI diseases caused by poor hygiene and the need to space pregnancies through more BFing are not terribly relevant to those of us in developed countries, so arguably the prevention of iron deficiency should take priority. And of course anything that makes allergies less common is a boon for us in rich countries because this is such an issue in our societies.

I gave small amounts of food starting from 4mo, based on the above. Including meat, iron fortified cereal, and all the allergens one by one. Will be doing the same with my current baby as it worked well last time and my older child is the only one among her cousins with zero allergies.

I did not give custard, however, and definitely not at 5 weeks! The OP's husband needs to understand that you don't just bung random foods into teeny babies for fun--that is just silly and potentially harmful.

That said, the differences involved either way are SMALL--it's not "bad" to wait till 6mo either. 4-6mo depending on parenting style and how you feel about solid foods is probably the best advice for the moment, until more robust evidence in either direction emerges.

scienceofmom.com/2015/05/14/starting-solids-4-months-6-months-or-somewhere-in-between/

Good read here.

Or if a particularly hungry baby, baby rice mixed with milk from 6 weeks!

I had to do that from 4ish weeks as baby had little to no sucking reflex. You do what you have to do.

Am I the only one who is going to have the Roobarb and custard theme tune in my head all day now?

I have teenagers so I’m a little wiser than I was, but I don’t think you are overreacting - babies stomaches aren’t ready to digest food so there is a chance the baby will have trouble digesting it, wind, pain etc. My children were born 1 month premature and were with a gastric specialist at 3 months - their stomachs weren’t even ready to digest formula at 3 months let alone custard - they had to have a special formula. There is a reason babies are not given food so early. Hope they are ok.

I haven't read all this, but I think you need to persuade your husband to read up on this.
I would have been fuming too. Is she your first baby?

Custard is yellow, is that E numbers? Better hide the peanuts, he is an idiot.

The baby should not be eating custard, but if he was eating off your husband's finger he won't have gotten much, and it is not a big deal. Custard is not poison (and at least it was M&S...) Your husband is trying to have fun being a new dad, which may be easier than being a new mum, but is still not easy. If it helped him bond with the baby, that's a good thing. Let him know the baby is not supposed to have any food or drink that didn't come out of you for a few more months, and then cut him some slack. A teaspoon of custard is not a hanging offence and you are all new to this job. The more you try to stay on the same team and keep a sense of humour the better off you will all be.

Your husband is a fidiot
And so is the person who suggested you call 111 🤐

@purpleartichoke
Dads do silly things all the time if he wants to get more involved get him to do a feed of breastmilk/formula depending on what you use. It could be argued, the more you involve him now, the more interest he takes as time goes on. Don't get mad, get smart.

“Dads do silly things all the time”
Fuck me-I thought it was supposed to be feminists who hated men!

OMG, I'd have gone through the roof. Does he not realise how sensitive a babys stomach is? The gut is not developed enough to cope with anything other than milk up until around 6 months. Has he not heard of allergic sensitisation. One of the reasons so many adults now suffer with gastric problems-ibs, chrons, lactose intolerance... is having food too early when the gut isnt developmentally able to deal with it!

Meh, when I was baby’s age I was on the spirits on the dummy. We know better now, and no custard is not good for baby, but I wouldn’t lose sleep over it.

Really not liking the vibe on this thread - your husband is an idiot, he knows what nothing, mother knows everything, mother is allowed to be as hysterical as she wants, mother is allowed to take baby from husband then complain when he takes baby back. Everybody supports mother and joins in with calling dad names.
You are learning together - when my first baby was born and my husband bought him a Teddy and a bowl and spoon. He honestly thought baby would be eating as soon as he came home.
Back then, eyebrows were raised and he was told that was not the case. If I had reacted like some of the posters here, peoe would be backing away in bemusement.
But parenting was not a performance sport back then, with new mother in the starring role. Threads like this end up normalising really ridiculous behavoir, with posters lining up to out-hysteria each other.
But that's social media for you

Good grief it's not that many years ago that people used to give babies mashed spud and gravy at three months old. I was weaned at four months as my mam was expecting my brother and it didn't do me any harm. My kids were weaned when they were ready, between four months and a year. Apart from one he was eating some of our foods mashed up at six weeks old. I always have my babies tastes of things I was eating I also rubbed brandy, rum or whisky on their gums when they were teething. No wonder kids these days all have allergies and stuff. I reckon in the future we're going to end up giving birth and the baby put in a sterile room and it not being allowed out until it's old enough to go to school.

I'd be angry and upset too, but it won't do any harm. 50 years ago (actually later than that too) babies were weaned at a few weeks old. It was the normal thing to do. They used to add baby rice to bottles too to fill the baby up for longer from 2 or 3 weeks old. Don't panic and the stress and tension will make your baby upset and make you feel worse. Just make him promise not to do it again :)

Bit of a daft thing to do, don't think he was thinking quite right! I guess custard is cows milk, cows milk is formula so really on such a tiny scale no different!

Farleys rusks to thicken the milk from a few weeks old when i was born ahem about fifty years ago, roughly speaking

Good grief it's not that many years ago that people used to give babies mashed spud and gravy at three months old.

Oh yes, like Leroy Elders who died aged three months in 1999 after his parents fed him Smash, Bisto and Ready Brek (back when it contained salt)?

There is a reason why many couples split up after the arrival of a baby. I’m less concerned about the custard that about his attitude to you and the baby. Not a great start. 💐

Why are people going on about weaning. This baby is 5 WEEKS old.
Obviously not going to choke on custard but they also can't swallow chunks of stuff yet and no teeth to chew. I wouldn't be surprised if he tries a biscuit next, because he isn't thinking about baby, he's thinking how clever he is.
Gripe water for teething was given routinely and contained alcohol, I know someone who gave her baby cows milk from day one, but that doesn't make it ok.

I suggest you just calm down and explain baby shouldn’t be having food yet. A small taste from daddy’s finger will do no harm. You are being very unreasonable in my view.

My daughters nan fed her rusk at 3 weeks, I’d literally gone downstairs and left her with nan for a bit only for aunt to come and tell me what nan was up too. It didn’t harm her so I’m sure a little custard off the finger will do baby no harm. Is this your partners first child? Yes it’s a little much but I’m sure he meant no harm

Ready brek had to fight to clear their name about that one, it had never contained salt. Of course it's still not an ideal food for a newborn but it didn't contribute to the salt overdose.