Newborn and custard

[MrsXx4]

Mainly posting here for traffic because I really don’t think I am being at all unreasonable!! I am fuming! I left my 5 week old baby in my husbands ‘capable’ hands for 2 minutes while I went to hang some washing up and when I came downstairs husband was feeding him custard (an M&S microwave custard - not baby food) from his finger! Letting baby suck it from his finger!

I am so angry but do I also need to worry about baby? Husband has got angry saying I have over reacted in being so mad! Baby was sleeping on me a second ago as I took him off of husband but now he has taken him off me and baby is screaming!!

By the way that’s not me condoning what nan did I was absolutely furious, just realised how my comment sounds.

His attitude towards op and the baby is suspiciouslyminded? What about op's attitude towards him, the baby's father?
Of course, the new mum has a free pass to behave however she likes on MN.

Calm down, not - even the OP in her original post didn’t have the incandescent rage and sweaty language you’ Exuding!

(sweary language, not sweaty language)

Oh my giddy aunt, it’s a lick of custard for goodness sake 🙄

So your H thinks it's cool to feed the baby custard and then this:

He took the baby off of me as he said he hasn’t seen him all day and he said I was making him feel bad by sitting cuddling him!

You and the HV need to sit your H down and explain to him that the baby isn't a bloody toy that he gets to try out tricks on, or get a turn with.

Your H is a first class idiot who has a steep learning curve ahead of him and a good deal of growing up to do too.

Please ask the HV to have a stern word about both of the things that happened today.

Custard was stupid idea, your DH is a twit. Does he understand not to do it again? If so, then draw a line under it and move on.

I’m less concerned about the custard that about his attitude to you and the baby. Not a great start.
SuspiciouslyMinded

Agree 100%.

I'd like to know why you were the one hanging up the washing.

To be fair breast milk & formula milk is mainly fat & sugar & is what a bay needs.. tho not in custard form. but still irritating!

”I would be calling 111”

What are they going to do--take him into custardy?

Sorry- but this deserves requiring

(requoting, not requiring)

*How did our kids born in the 70s survive? First solids at 12 weeks, often earlier if they were hungry, and laid down on their tummies.

Um, did you really just go there with the 'laid down on their tummies' thing?*

Yes, because that was the perceived wisdom then. In ten years time it may be frowned upon to 'co-sleep', posters will be sneeringly commenting 'Um, did you really go there with the 'co-sleep' thing?'. Do remember you're following, blindly in many cases, today's version of what's deemed correct, that's all, tomorrow it may make you look like an abuser because the fad will have changed!

His attitude towards op and the baby is suspiciouslyminded? What about op's attitude towards him, the baby's father?
Of course, the new mum has a free pass to behave however she likes on MN.

Bravo! Do remember he's only there to support the mother whatever contrary opinion he mught have and to pay the bills in many people's eyes here. His opinion is as valid as her's, merely giving birth doesn't make you a walking encyclopedia on child raising. This chap made a mistake, no doubt he now knows it, if that's all he does wrong in the next 18 years they'll be very lucky!

Actually, a good deal of research has gone into today's 'fads'.
It's not all random diktats.

Don't you think you are just a tad obsessed? Okay, feeding custard to a 5 week old is to be frowned upon and as he did go to all the classes he should have known better. There may have been an element of curiosity about would the baby like custard. A discussion on the up to date thoughts on feeding is required. Of course he may have read a recent report from Scandinavia that highlights children are suffering so many allergies because foods are held off being introduced well into immune system being developed and therefore reacts as allergy. Babies used to be fed solids, different liquids a lot earlier than nowadays and the study relates this to the high increase in allergies over the last 10 years.

Co-sleeping is already ‘frowned upon’ and advised against by the NHS.

In the late eighties, two thousand babies were dying every year from SIDS. The rate of SIDS has dropped by 81% since the ‘back to sleep’ campaign was introduced in 1991. So in answer to your question about how the babies of the seventies survived - literally thousands didn’t.

Health visitors don’t have stern words with husbands or grown adults in my experience... how random is that suggestion. My ex would have removed her/him from the house

So much nonsense about "fads"... no one thinks that parents in the past were abusers (!) because they followed the guidelines at the time. But anyone with any basic sense would realise that knowledge will have moved on in 20/30 plus years, and what was sensible advice in the past is no longer good advice today. I would happily go with new guidelines in 20/30 year's time, even if contrary to what I did with my own children.

And, I really doubt that the DH had been reading a study from
Scandinavia and decided to introduce custard as a way of avoiding allergies.... that's absurd.

a little taste wont hurt if he was trying to feed a bowl full id compmain . never used to be such a thing as baby food and babys thrived . my dad had my 3 week old sucking on a buttered crumpet once , some men just need to have it explained to them but i wouldnt turn it in to a drama

@genius1308

Food does not cause Crohns disease.
Allergens are now recommended to be introduced before 6 months to reduce gut / allergen issues later in life.

Baby had a suck of custard not a 3 course meal.

Mum & Dad are shattered, grumpy and doomg this fir the first time.

OP has already realised she over-reacted. Baby has had no adverse reaction.

Dad was a dick, mum understandably got upset and went mad. OP get used to this for a bit, sleep deprivation, frayed tempers and excessive worrying are all to be expected. Glad you can now see the lighter side. Just keep an eye out for sloppy nappies and hand your OH one of the books you no doubt have to read while he's holding LO next x

I'd like to know why you were the one hanging up the washing.

Why not?
Oh, of course. Because she is the mother and the superior parent
Until she decides that dad is not getting involved enough, then she complains everything for the baby is left to her.

SuspiciouslyMinded was referring to the silly taking turns thing.

"Allergens are now recommended to be introduced before 6 months to reduce gut / allergen issues later in life." - this is not true, in the UK. No such general guideline exists. Some evidence exists that this might be beneficial for some babies at higher risk, but general guidelines have not been changed.

Plus even if it were true, they don't mean offering custard at 5 weeks, clearly.

@cathf do you know what? In this case, she is the "superior" parent, based solely on the decisions made, nothing to do with her sex.

All this "call 111" or "get your HV to have a stern word" it's a DROP of custard not arsenic. He is the baby's father not a stranger. It's not ideal but it's a bit of an over reaction.

Ugh! A taste of custard isn't going to hurt the baby.

Taking the baby away from his mother however is a ridiculous, immature act of aggression that needs to be discussed. Children are not things to be fought over.