To not want a baby shower

[BlueFox101]

I'm just not really bothered by it. I remember when my best friend was having one for her baby thinking what's the point in all this? But my husband is adamant that I will regret not having one...
Will I? Has anyone else felt the same not had one and then regretted it?

macmacaroon Perhaps your friends think they are tacky?

I won't be having one if we get that far!
I hate them, and hen nights.

It's not my thing at all. I expect I might have a lunch out with my work team as I'll miss them on mat leave - but nothing involving games or any of that plastic tat.

I didn't have a hen night either - went to pub with a few friends and hated it. They had organised it as a surprise so had to go. I appreciated the gesture but it's not really me.

I have had to endure loads of hen's and baby showers - all hideous.

4 kids 0 baby showers. I'd have been mortified to have one. I think they're grabby, no matter how tastefully done.

I didn't have one. And I've no regrets about not having one.

Didn’t have one before DT’s were born - would have hated it. Plenty of opportunities to celebrate after baby is born.

I would have liked one as a good excuse to celebrate with friends, but mine didn't get around to trying to organise it with DH until I was already 35 weeks and wanting to hold it when I was 38 weeks, so I had to say no as it was way too late and snowing. There isn't any fun to be had in scooting around on ice to get to a pub while off balance and fretting that the baby might come early. Plus they told DH they were only inviting one small group of women so other close friends could have felt left out, which could have been very awkward. Having friends make me feel special would have been nice, but it wasn't to be. So if you want one then definitely plan it yourself!

First rule, don’t have one.
Second rule, certainly don’t have it in a pub or organise it yourself.

😩

Nope. Didn't have one and definitely didn't regret it. I don't really understand what the point of them is, beyond "please come and make me the centre of attention and buy me gifts". The thought of it just makes me absolutely cringe.

I know someone who had one and the baby was stillborn, it was awful and I can't imagine the loads of presents at home improved the situation.
She was very clear on NO baby shower next time round.

They are also the worst things to get invited to if you are having fertility issues.

@GreenDinosaur I agree with the fertility issues comment!
I tried for 7 years for my little boy and every baby shower was heartbreaking!
A lot of my friends/family where very understanding of my situation... but some weren't... let's just say they are no longer friends

Another person who's never had one and doesn't regret it. Lunch with family and or friends sounds lovely though.
And I'm going to stick up for strokethefurrywall a bit here, mani-pedis (or any other kind of pampering isn't my thing, but a lot of people do enjoy them, and there's no reason to call them tacky.

My Mother in law arranged an afternoon tea kind of thing at her house for my first. Which was a lovely surprise and I really enjoyed it.
I went to one this weekend for a second baby and her mum had hired out an entire venue with a huge buffet and games and a present table. Mum to be was dressed up like she was going clubbing. And it was all just a bit grabby and forced fun.

At the end of the day it’s your choice if a baby shower is something you would enjoy or not

What will be next? A party to announce you are ttc? I wouldn’t put it past the retail industry to try and make this a thing. Just think of all the gifts and stage props (like the “hen night” ones) they could sell to the stupid!

Birth control pills that are really sweets
Broken condom costumes
Sperm and egg canapés
Guess which position party games
Cards to announce “we did it last night! Help us celebrate our two week wait...”

They’ve missed an entire market...

I do find it bemusing that they can be considered grabby when mum-to-be has no knowledge/involvement of it being arranged.
Who’s doing the grabbing? The friend/family member arranging it for them, and yet they get nothing out of it other than enjoyment.

Nope didn't have one, one pushy friend said she would organise one anyway when I was having Dd1. She was duely told if she wanted one when she was having her child fine but I'd walk out if she organised one for me apologising that friend had wasted their time after being specifically told not to. Dd1 came at 32+4 taking the decision out of her hands but she resisted with dd2

Doesn’t matter who is doing the grabbing, still grabby! Just embarrassing for the person it’s for if they haven’t been asked so had no chance to say no way.

People can get so snobby about them. I had one, which my SIL organised. It was afternoon tea and was lovely. I've attended a couple and what they've all had in common is that they are nice social occasions where the mother to be is celebrated. I'm not sure what is so wrong with that? Gifts aren't compulsory either.

Also, for all those concerned by the vulgarity of it, there is such a thing as baby shower etiquette... You never host/organise your own and they are only for 1st babies.

I’m not having one. Also getting married without a hen - and probably getting married without a wedding, too. So much unnecessary fuss and expense! Also skipped having a 30th birthday last weekend, much to my BFFs (who threw massive parties for themselves) puzzlement. Nobody knows you better than you, OP - personally I am happy to fuss over others but dislike intensely anyone fussing over me. I’ll never change but my people love me anyway

hen nights, baby showers... just no. God forbid wanting to celebrate with friends

They don't have to be tacky, vulgar, grabby or expensive!
A small gathering at your house, afternoon tea etc.
I went to 3 last year, all very different, none were ott or embarrassing, and I was happy to give a small present or donation and celebrate with my dear friend who was going through an exciting time.

People are so miserable.

Also getting married without a hen - and probably getting married without a wedding, too. So much unnecessary fuss and expense! Also skipped having a 30th birthday last weekend, Congratulations. You are a better person. Now we all know how selfless you are.

They're grabby, and tacky.
If you don't want one, don't.

I didn't have one, not even a small gathering. Instead we just bought the stuff we needed and people gave us gifts along the way if they wanted but without the expectation to. I don't regret it at all, and enjoyed not having to organise anything or feel guilty for other people feeling obligated to buy us things.

Baby shower threads bring all the snobbery out.

^^This.

You have to laugh!

I didn't have one, didn't even think to have one.

As it never crossed my mind, I don't regret not having one. In fact the more opinions I see on them, the more it makes me glad I didn't have one.

Don't have enough friends anyway.

@Nesssie agree!
Why be so bitter and miserable about other people enjoying a very exciting time 😕 if you don't like them then don't have them, but to say there tacky and vulgar just makes you sound a not very pleasant person at all imo.