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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be sacked due to sick children?

583 replies

Spamup · 28/01/2019 18:56

Regular user but have NC for this!

My children, DS and DD both under 3 have several bouts of sickness before christmas and today my DS is not well which has resulted in a hospital admission - my employet has casually mentioned before about how i would probably be better off not working but nothing has been written down regarding this - ff to this evening, it has been sent to the HR department for formal disciplinary process to start and i am in bits - i am a lone parent and no family or friends to support me with emergancy childcare as they all work full time - can i really lose my job over this? I have bills etc to pay and worked a long time in this field to get to where i am now :(

OP posts:
DonutCone · 28/01/2019 19:32

You can surely see their point though that in 5 years you have actually worked less than 2? It’s not really reasonable to expect any employer to deal with that.

TheBigBangRocks · 28/01/2019 19:33

in the five years you have been there you have had two maternity leaves,, a year off sick and now 9 weeks off in the last 5 months? OP surely you can see their point

Forgot about the maternity leaves, so basically you've worked about 18 months less any other instances before September and then annual leave. I'm very surprised you still have a job, much less them only just starting procedures.

EdWinchester · 28/01/2019 19:34

Bloody hell - that's a lot of time off.

For perspective, I have just had to issue a 'letter of concern/informal warning' to a team member who has been off twice in a year for a grand total of 8 days!

Charlie97 · 28/01/2019 19:35

It's obviously tough for you, but your employer needs to run an efficient company. Have you looked at available benefits you could claim that would mean you didn't have to work? Clearly currently your children's needs are not allowing you to matin employment.

Original poster
Spamup · 28/01/2019 19:37

Thanks for your comments i cant argue with you because i know what you are saying is correct.

I looked far and wide for a childminder but was unable to find one who could accomodate the times and days required for both children and the nursery was the next option. They currently have a 3 month waiting list - i was lucky to get both of them in when i did and this was a cheaper nursery then the others i looked at but i do not have any alternative childcare on any other days nor could i afford to pay the extra on top of what it already costs hence why i have been unable to make up the hours. Previously i used to go in on saturdays unpaid to accrue time in lieu but that was when exdp was involved and i was able to do so.

OP posts:
TornFromTheInside · 28/01/2019 19:37

Even if the time off is unpaid, it's a cost to the business when an employee isn't available to do the job they're supposed to.
At some point, the inability to do the job (no matter what reason) starts to become an issue.
You could have parents or children who need significant care, you could even have a life threatening illness that requires extensive periods off work - but eventually a company has to draw a line.
Obviously, SOME situations (like a life threatening illness) can be quite awkward for the company (bad PR and/or a genuine desire to help, but no finances to cover it)... sooner or later, something has to give.

I would expect they will issue you with a warning, or ask you to consider a new working arrangement (different hours etc), but much depends on how many other warning they believe they've given you. It would be harsh to sack you (but they could if not worked there for more than 2 years).

mathsquestions · 28/01/2019 19:37

You need to go to the meeting with a clear action plan on how you intend to deal with this in the future. If they see you mean it you may have a chance to plead to their better nature.

Laine21 · 28/01/2019 19:37

I'll second the option of looking for an au pair to help with part time child care, it will be much easier on the pocket if you have a spare bedroom for one.

Don't resign, whatever you do, you won't be able to get benefits straightaway.

SillySallySingsSongs · 28/01/2019 19:37

That is a hell of a lot of time off.

Bluntness100 · 28/01/2019 19:38

I'm not sure rhey will move to dismissal immediately, but clearly this is an ongoing situation, they will possibly look at dismissal due to something like incapacity, ie you cannot physically do your job due to your circumstances, .,incapacity dismissal is normally due to your sickness though, in this case you are simply not available for work.

it is difficult for them too to have a member of staff off this much as others have to step in and do the work instead on top of their jobs. In addition you've had a previous year off.

I think to keep your job you need to find a solution, a nanny for those two days, something to show them the situation will not continue and you've put measures in pace to ensure you're available for work.if you cannot do this, I fear that it really is on'y a matter of time before rhey are forced to dismiss.

marymarkle · 28/01/2019 19:38

It is shit OP. But yes you can be sacked for this, just as you can be sacked for being off sick yourself.
Are you a member of a union?

flowery · 28/01/2019 19:39

It's just not sustainable for your company to keep employing you with that level of absence OP. A long period of time signed off, such as you had before, isn't as bad, because they can organise cover. But 8-9 weeks off in 5 months without knowing week to week whether you're going to be in just isn't sustainable at all.

With this level of child illness, a nursery just isn't a viable childcare option if you want to keep your job, and with that level of fees, a nanny would be much better for you, not much more expensive, if at all, and able to handle illness as well.

ilovesooty · 28/01/2019 19:39

Why didn't you reply to the last email HR sent you?

newnameforthis7 · 28/01/2019 19:40

Nearly £170 a day for childcare in a nursery? That's what £1300 a month is - if you only work 2 days a month.

This, along with the fact that you have had 50% of the last 5 months off for various reasons, tells me that your employer is right. It sounds like you'd be better off not working. Not right now anyway, and not in the job you're in.

Justajot · 28/01/2019 19:40

Whilst you may prefer to resign than be sacked, you should consider the impact of resignation on your eligibility for benefits.

JustHereForThePooStories · 28/01/2019 19:41

You’re not being sacked due to sick children. If you are sacked, it’s due to your inability to provide regular and consistent service.

From trawling through my emails the last contact inhad from HR was an email requesting i replied to say i agreed with the content of our previous discussion - i did not reply to this email

Why didn’t you reply? If you have any chance of getting through this without being dismissed, you need to take part in the process. You’re at a stage now where you’re not adhering to policy.

Look up “Bradford Score”, calculate yours, and you’ll see how bad your case is, relatively.

lilybetsy · 28/01/2019 19:41

I’m an employer and that levels of sickness would completely stuff my business. You can’t be off every other week !

I think you should be offering to pay some time back and looking at alternative childcare ...

Bythebeach · 28/01/2019 19:41

1300 per month for 2 days a week for 2 kids? Whereabouts are you? You could get a nanny for less than that who would look after the kids when ill!!!

Bleurgh0 · 28/01/2019 19:44

Yes - nursery costs are high due to their age so hourly rate is higher and includes breakfast lunch and tea and care from 8am to 6pm.

That's astronomically expensive for a nursery. My DD goes to a nursery open for an hour longer than that and it's no where near that expensive, even when was she was small as yours are and the hourly rate was higher. She also gets breakfast, lunch and tea included. Are there any cheaper nurseries where you live?

Don't go to the meeting without either a colleague, friend or union rep (preferably the latter).

Bleurgh0 · 28/01/2019 19:46

Can you offer to to work in the evenings when they are asleep or if you're off with them but they're napping? To make up some of the hours?

namechangedtoday15 · 28/01/2019 19:46

My nursery was £65 a day (NW) when my DD left in 2014 so it's not off the scale. But it does sound like you need at other options.

Original poster
Spamup · 28/01/2019 19:47

Again, i cant argue as i know you are right! Yes nursery is that expensive, when i returned to work before my second mat leave it was £580 per month (and i didnt take the full 9 months of mat leave) its just a really really shit situation.
I will have a look into a nanny but not sure how easy it will be to get one in such a short space of time, when my SSP ran out i had to claim esa and then income support etc it was hard work with a significantly reduced income but if i have to do it again then so be it i guess. Also their dad does not contribute - i contacted CMS and he magically became unemployed soon after - he took my car, my phone and our home , not that that is relevent.

OP posts:
newnameforthis7 · 28/01/2019 19:47

Sorry I mean 2 days a WEEK, not month!

Cheby · 28/01/2019 19:48

Nearly £170 a day for childcare in a nursery? That's what £1300 a month is - if you only work 2 days a month.

OP works 2 days a week, doesnt she?
So for 2 kids it’s exactly £75 a day each.

We paid £55 a day and that was the most expensive nursery in the area. 7-6, all meals included. I guess it might be normal for London but anywhere else £75 a day is outrageously expensive.

crimsonlake · 28/01/2019 19:49

That amount does seem excessive to pay for nursery and your job must be very well paid to afford you to be able to do so. Sorry I have no answer, but it is so difficult to cope with children's illnesses if you are a lone parent. Surely it must be worth involving their father as he has a responsibility, does he even pay you child maintenance?