To be sacked due to sick children?

[Spamup]

Regular user but have NC for this!

My children, DS and DD both under 3 have several bouts of sickness before christmas and today my DS is not well which has resulted in a hospital admission - my employet has casually mentioned before about how i would probably be better off not working but nothing has been written down regarding this - ff to this evening, it has been sent to the HR department for formal disciplinary process to start and i am in bits - i am a lone parent and no family or friends to support me with emergancy childcare as they all work full time - can i really lose my job over this? I have bills etc to pay and worked a long time in this field to get to where i am now :(

The fact that she's a grown woman and doing a professional role doesn't preclude her from feeling awful about something she has to do

Nice try, but a dismal fail, we can all read the thread and see no one remotely suggested it did.

What it precludes her being, is a girl.

I am in HR and don't have kids - nice to know what people think of us (as if we didn't already know, people are not shy at telling HR people they think we are all crap - oh, except the business owners who we keep out of tribunal of course!).

Why should the HR woman fell awful? She’s doing her job and this is part of it.

A nanny or nanny share would surely make sense. If you could find another family with 2 kids, a nanny could look after 4 and you split the cost of employing her 50:50. A nanny would need to be paid a good wage as nannies go for this scenario but it would almost certainly be cheaper than 2 nursery places and far more flexible in terms of sickness. This is my setup and I've very rarely had to take time off for kids sickness.

OP, you work two days a week! if your monthly outgoings are £1300 for two days childcare that's over £300 per week! Add on top of that rent, council tax, bills,food shopping, etc you must be earning over £600 per week after tax for two days work!
If I were you I would definitely move hell and high water to keep such a great job!
Seriously though how are you keeping going being off sick 50% of the time and still having those overheads? If I have a few days of a month to look after my kids when they are sick I'm struggling to make ends meet that month's pay and my kids are in school!

I am in HR and don't have kids - nice to know what people think of us (as if we didn't already know, people are not shy at telling HR people they think we are all crap - oh, except the business owners who we keep out of tribunal of course!).

We don't all think that I work in change but connected to HR.

The above comment about being childish was ridiculous and nasty. It came across as very bitter and as someone who looks down on people. Don't worry about it.

And I have a straight back to work interview and it goes on my employment record as unpaid carers leave, too many a year and I would have to account for my job just as you are having to do now. It's not rocket science but they are not making you unemployed because you have to look after sick children they are paying wages for someone else to do your job.

My advice would be grab that nanny who can do three days, go back to work asap and tell them you have sorted out your childcare problems and you are reliable and ready to be back at work two days a week from now on. Or am I missing something?

Have you contacted Gingerbread? They offer support to single parents. Also, if your children are frequently ill, have you thought of working from home?
Try not to worry too much, this stage won't last forever. As your children get older they will become more independent.

Yes I do apologise for that stupid and thoughtless comment.

What I was trying to say was that I do sympathise. It's an anxious, time, and the op probably does feel as though she's been kicked. Not only are her children ill but she's just been told her firm don't want her.

We know the op is good at her job, she was headhunted, but it's difficult to run a company with someone you can't rely on to be there, whoever good, and for whatever reason. Being told you're not wanted is horrible. (and having to tell her isn't a bowl of cherries either even if it is part of the HR job).

The anxiety over the job, her children's health, financial considerations probably feels overwhelming. I know I felt as though I had huge stone in my chest and couldn't breathe.

Take a deep breath op, sit down with a nice glass of something. I'd send you flowers to cheer you up if I could. In the meantime , , , and do try to smile, smiling does help.

You can sympathise with the op without doing what you did. There's no need implication that someone who works in HR must be a dick if they don't have kids.

It's great that you apologised, but you can sympathise without talking other people down

It's great that you apologised, but you can sympathise without talking other people down

Erm...But yes, she has apologised - what do you want? Blood?

Erm...But yes, she has apologised - what do you want? Blood?

Where did I say I wanted anything?

How's things OP

Being told you're not wanted is horrible. (and having to tell her isn't a bowl of cherries either even if it is part of the HR job).

She's not 'not wanted' though! They headhunted her, I expect they want her very badly, they want her so much they can't cope with her level of absence.

As far as I can see there is no indication that they don't want her, they just want her to be there.

And, no, it's not part of the HR job. The HR job is to advise business leaders on how to manage the people aspects of their business, not to do their dirty work for them.

OP I assume if you are paying £1300 per month for nursery, you must be taking home in excess of £2000? That's a FTE salary of over £75k - and you're doing admin/PA stuff for your boss? Where do you work? I so need a job like that, mine pays £18k FTE 😢

And only two days a week!?

have been mostly stuck in the childrens hospital, just reading through and catching up on the comments - not really sure i have anything else to add aside from i will update once i have had my meeting next week and no more about whats happening.
Thanks, again, for everyone who has taken the time to comment - i have had a lot of time to do a lot of thinking this week so depending on what happens next week, i will then decide how best to proceed going forward.

If it is any help to you, my older child was CONSTANTLY sick while at nursery, in and out of hospital, it got really serious. I would see other parents dropping their sick looking children in the mornings and think 'oh no, please don't pass that on to her today!' it was brutal.

Eventually it got so bad that I had to take a year off work to just get over it. I will never forget the stress.

When I returned to work, I then got a nanny in to the house. My daughter big now but she never got sick again after that. I had another child since who is minded at home by a nanny from birth, and she was never ever sick either. (thank God) That could have been luck but I think some children are just not able to cope with that level of sickness that is in a crèche /nursery.

I hope you find a solution too. Best wishes to you.

Spam,

Sorry to hear your little one in the hospital.
I hope they are soon on the mend & will be home soon.

You’ve had a helleuva week.
Please cut yourself some slack over the weekend before you deal with HR.
Particularly once the drama & urgent concerns fade, have a few treats entirely for your self.

You are doing really well, making strong strides forward as best you can in tough times. You & DCs will come through these testing times.

It would be interesting to find out how you got on with ACAS & the other organisations you have consulted. Pure curiosity as is found on MN, as we can all be better informed, but of course only update us when you are truly free to finger the keyboard.

So reading this make me angry yeah a year of is long but with a sick child so there be a bloody dam option for work to say anything what if it was there kid.