To be sacked due to sick children?

[Spamup]

Regular user but have NC for this!

My children, DS and DD both under 3 have several bouts of sickness before christmas and today my DS is not well which has resulted in a hospital admission - my employet has casually mentioned before about how i would probably be better off not working but nothing has been written down regarding this - ff to this evening, it has been sent to the HR department for formal disciplinary process to start and i am in bits - i am a lone parent and no family or friends to support me with emergancy childcare as they all work full time - can i really lose my job over this? I have bills etc to pay and worked a long time in this field to get to where i am now :(

I think people have deliberately ignored that I said “depending on illness”.

And ignored my point that it would save her much needed cash.

I plan on going in tommorow (i cant afford to lose more pay as my savings are almost wiped out) just got to keep my fingers crossed nursery will let DS go :( arrrggghhhh why is this so difficult

You've been given lots of good advice about unions etc above.

Your childcare costs are crazy. If you had a top range nanny, you would be paying less than that. We pay a highly experienced nanny London rates, including taxes and pension and paid leave, and she costs less than £1300 a month. Outside of London or on a more casual basis it should be less again. It would mean organising food and outings, but you'd save hugely on unpaid sick leave (a nanny can't do d&v or hospital inpatient but most could care through chickenpox), and keep your job. Childminders would be cheaper again. It's worth looking into this before you meet with hr, to see if you can start with positive actions you can take to help.

*should say less than £1300 a month for 2 days

Im looking at nannies as we speak !

If you'd been suspended they'd have told you.

Ffs go in tomorrow. Dont make a bad situation worse

Are you a union member? Does your employer subscribe to an Employee Assistance programme?

If you are/they do - use them.

They have to start the process when a certain number of absences trigger it - no choice - but they do have a choice about how they proceed.

Nicknacky

Oh and I've been childminding for 9 years but I'm not sure what time has to do with anything. Just because you have used childminders doesn't mean you know how they work. The fact you told OP to look for a childminder because they will be more flexible (meaning they will just out up and shut up) for looking after sick children. You are not the only one to have said it on this thread

Yes they have an EAP!!

Your ds had hospital admission today - of course work are not expecting you tomorrow.

*I think people have deliberately ignored that I said “depending on illness”.

And ignored my point that it would save her much needed cash.*

What illness would be appropriate to send a child to a childminder and not a nursery then?

Im looking at nannies as we speak !

Well done OP, a positive step.

I may have missed it, but what was the previous meeting with HR for?

If that was also absences and you didn't respond to that email then its really not looking good.

Is there a way you could change your working hours, maybe doing three short days instead of 2 full days? You wouldn’t have breakfast and dinner fees at nursery, may be able to get half sessions instead of full days and, if the kids were ill there’s less chance of it wiping the whole week out? You might also be more likely to get a childminder who has half day spaces but couldn’t do full days because of after school care.

I’m guessing you’ve exhausted your company’s paid sick leave provision rather than voluntarily opting for unpaid leave? I know how hard it is with small children who pick up everything that’s going - hopefully their health will stabilise soon.

My best friend has just said she can watch DS tommorow AM so i can go to work for half a day at least!

I am so so sorry you are going through this. It's all well and good everyone pointing out how much time you've had off but to be honest I think you are doing incredibly well. Children get sick, especially at nursery. Mine has been off more than she's been in lately as there are always bouts of chicken pox, conjunctivitis, hand foot and mouth going around and it's been so hard trying to manage childcare WITH a partner so I can't even begin to imagine how challenging it is for you right now.

I would really consider another method of care; nanny share maybe? I hate how flippantly these ideas are suggested but is moving an option at all? That nursery bill is very high: I am in the south east paying £450 a month for two full days, all meals in so £1300 sounds extortionate.

You will get through this. You are doing your best and that is amazing. You are amazing xxx

I have previously suggested three or even 4 shorter days but this was rejected as it did noy fit in with the business requirements

Op if you wish to keep your job, you need to turn up tomorrow and stay for the whole day, if you don't turn up or can only do a half day, i think they will be within their rights to terminate now. It's too much.

Offer to pay your friend the going rate, whatever it takes, to get there and stay there and for the next few weeks meet your commitment.

@Nickynacky childminders don't take sick children. The only child care solutions for the OP are a nanny or an au pair.

A nanny would allow the OP to eventually do more hours/days and wouldn't live in. Plus know how to deal with emergencies and know about child development. An au pair would have to be squeezed into where ever the OP lives,has a cap on their hours and wouldn't be trained.

OP - you’re not being disciplined because your children are sick. It’s because you’re unable to fulfil the terms of your contract. Regardless of this time being unpaid, your frequent and lengthy absences are detrimental to the running of the business.

I’m an HR Director. I would have had you in for a disciplinary meeting before now. I assume the new company has more stringent processes than the last owner, so your case has been flagged for review/action.

I would expect them to use the disciplinary meeting to explore the reasons for your many absences and to understand what adjustments you’re planning to make to ensure that any future emergency time off is severely limited. Life happens and people get called out of the office, but it should be rare and only whilst making alternative childcare arrangements (rather than providing that care yourself every time for long periods).

I do empathise with your situation. Definitely research more robust childcare options. Your current childcare is really expensive!! You could find a part-time nanny for £10-12 an hour to care for both children. Try Facebook local groups (I know most nursery staff where I live work a 4 day week, so often look for part-time nanny/babysitting work) and also look on childcare.com.

You have the right to be accompanied at the disciplinary meeting by a colleague. They would be there as a support for you. It’s a stressful situation to be in.

I hope that your little ones get better soon!

My best friend has just said she can watch DS tommorow AM so i can go to work for half a day at least!

OP, you know you’re in a bad position -
do you want to keep this job or not? You can’t just work half a day

drogos Am I incorrect in that it may save her money which is also an issue for her?

WetWipes I can send you my childminders phone number if you want to speak to her directly about your objections with our arrangements?

DS is still.sick - i have the option to go in for half the day or not at all, i am stuck between a rock and a hard place

Just wanted to share this on the off chance it may help .

Hope you manage to sort everything Op.

www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants

Op, you make it sound as if they should be happy you are in for a half day!