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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To go back to this house?

496 replies

trapped2019 · 27/01/2019 06:33

We're trying to move house.

I hate where I live.

We've sold ours and found somewhere that we thought was perfect.

Got survey done, arranged removals, almost got to exchange etc. Then we went back for another viewing to measure up.

The vendor was starting to remove fixtures and fittings, things were broken and dirty.

We pulled out.

Since then, we have found nothing else. Nothing.

The vendor of that house put it back on the market and sold it last week.

Would it be even worth our time going back to them?

We could complete in a week and I know the vendor has already bought his new place so is paying two mortgages. He could move much more quickly with us than with his new buyers. Would that count?

I can't sleep for worrying about this. I'm in tears at thought of being trapped in our current home.

Help!

OP posts:
SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst · 27/01/2019 09:11

Why won't you tell us exactly what you saw him removing in the kitchen, OP? Loads of posters have asked now, to make more sense of you walking away from the house, but you seem to be avoiding answering.

Funny that. It’s been asked loads of times, OP has specifically asked ‘tell me what I need to answer’, yet she’s apparently missed this question the twenty times it’s been asked Confused

hmmwhatatodo · 27/01/2019 09:11

Are you like those people on reality tv programmes who stamp their feet and demand its all about them in every aspect of their life?

countrybunny · 27/01/2019 09:11

Op - are you ok? You sound like you're struggling

MacarenaFerreiro · 27/01/2019 09:12

We've been in the situation of being desperate to move and struggling to find a suitable property.

We were moving to a location 300 miles away from where we lived. We had sold our house after a total nightmare with the agents. We thought we'd found the ideal property, made an offer which was accepted. Then there commenced a three month legal nightmare because the owner of the house was terminally ill and the power of attorney for the son was set up incorrectly. So we pulled out.

Finding another property was so hard. The market was moving so fast that by the time we'd seen something on the net and arranged a viewing at the weekend when we could make the 300 mile trip, it had sold.

So we sold our house, moved here and signed a 6 month rental. We could then physically go into the local estate agents and speak to them rather than speaking on the phone. We started to put work round neighbours and people we met at playgroup/school that we were looking to buy in a certain area. Anyway, long story short, after 3 months the perfect house came up, we saw it the day it went on the market, and offered right away. Offer accepted because we weren't in a chain and could be entirely flexible. We're still here 12 years later.

Renting long term isn't something I'd choose when you're in a position to buy, but short term it has a huge number of advantages.

Stop being dramatic OP. There will be other houses. You just need to bide your time.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 27/01/2019 09:13

@trapped2019 it's not gaslighting it's just lying.

Gaslighting is an ongoing form of psychological manipulation and abuse.

You are so convinced you are right just do it! Contact the agent on Monday and put in an offer. If you don't try you will never know what could be.

Also, if you're solicitor is shit, get rid, hundreds of other solicitors out there. Stop being such a victim!

pinkdelight · 27/01/2019 09:13

Also, if you had a full survey and it didn't pick up that the floor was on the brink of collapse, no doubt you'd have recourse there. Your mistake was to pull out instead of myriad options to sustain the sale. You wanted to pull out. Own that decision/mistake, and quite literally move on. Older and wiser ideally (but unlikely by the sounds of it).

4point2fleet · 27/01/2019 09:14

On Phil and Kirsty when a buyer really wants to live in a certain area but there is nothing for sale, they leaflet every house in the area saying they have a keen, ready buyer and ask the owners to contact if they might want to sell.

Have you done that OP?

You need to focus yourself of the search for a new property and stop being such a drama queen.

BookwormMe2 · 27/01/2019 09:14

Okay, so removing integrated appliances is not the same as 'ripping out the kitchen', but I do get why you were annoyed, especially if he'd ticked the box on the fixtures and fittings form – which is a legal document in itself – saying they were part of the sale. I wouldn't have walked away though, I'd have just negotiated some money off. I think you were way too hasty, OP.

DameSquashalot · 27/01/2019 09:15

Hi charlie97

pepperjack · 27/01/2019 09:15

You've completely overreacted at the vendor.
He can take his appliances, he's probably have to take some doors off to get at them. And the lights. What did the fixtures and fittings list say?
The floor-ruined, really?
Where was the dog shit?all over the house, or had he just not picked it up that day?

RLABC · 27/01/2019 09:16

👋 @Charlie97, we can see you! Grin

SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst · 27/01/2019 09:16

Integrated appliances and light fittings.

The floor was probably destroyed when he dragged them across it.

Bloody hell, your surveyor must have been as shit as your solicitor. If a floor was in such a poor state as to collapse when an appliance was pulled across it, the floor was utterly fucked in the first place! Shock

ShadyLady53 · 27/01/2019 09:16

I think if you gazump the new buyers then you deserve a whole lot of bad karma! It’s a shitty, immoral, selfish thing to do.

you got yourself in this situation, you pulled out. You could have taken action through the estate agents and both solicitors when you saw he was removing the kitchen but you didn’t.

There is no other house you see yet. More houses will be coming on the market soon. I viewed 3 last week, two of which hadn’t even been listed yet. The estate agency knew I was a serious buyer and told me about them whilst viewing a different property. I fell in love with a property back in September, it didn’t work out, I was gutted but there are now much better properties out there and I’ve changed my mind. You will too.

You want to reject every single possible scenario other posters give.

For the last time, your best option is to sell to the people who still want to buy your house. Invest the money from the sale in as high interest account as you have. And rent until something better comes along. 6 months from now you could easily be in a new property.

You’d have had to pay thousands for a new kitchen any way. You shouldn’t have to go into savings to rent to a great extent. Rent somewhere that your wages would easily cover.

Charlie97 · 27/01/2019 09:16

Integrated appliances and light fittings..... did he confirm on the questionnaire that he would leave these?

It's a simple question ..... yes or no?

trapped2019 · 27/01/2019 09:17

How do you negotiate when he denies that any of it happened?

@EngagedAgain

You've summed it up. I dealt with it all. I'm knackered.

OP posts:
ChariotsofFish · 27/01/2019 09:17

You haven’t got much to lose by going back. You know you’re dealing with a dishonest seller and he knows he’s dealing with an unreliable buyer. But you’ve already spent the money on a survey etc so trying again costs you nothing. The new buyers won’t have incurred costs yet, so if you’re going to do it do it quickly. He’ll say no, if he’s got any sense.

BookwormMe2 · 27/01/2019 09:18

SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst Given that 'ripping out the kitchen' was actually 'removing the integrated appliances', I'm guessing 'the floor caving in' is actually 'left some scuff marks'...

DuchessofManchester · 27/01/2019 09:18

@Charlie97 waves hello op you've lost the house...move on and look for something else.

reallybadidea · 27/01/2019 09:18

You're not trapped, not even a little bit. You have money which gives you choices and you're choosing to stay. You are so lucky and you're too busy feeling sorry for yourself to realise it.

Notwiththeseknees · 27/01/2019 09:18

If you genuinely can exchange in a week, write a nice letter, explain you had cold feet due to 'other issues'. At least if he says no you will have closure. If he says yes, then great & get in with it!

If I were keen to sell, I would give you s week to exchange as I would have nothing to lose.

trapped2019 · 27/01/2019 09:18

Yes. All on the fixtures and fittings form,

He was pulling a fast one.

OP posts:
PostNotInHaste · 27/01/2019 09:18

Renting isn’t dead money in this situation, as others have said above it gives you options. We wouldn’t be sitting in the house we are sitting if we hadn’t have been chain free. It was out of our price range really but as we had nothing to sell they dropped it enough for us to afford.

We’d missed out on a 3 bed semi which was knackered and barely had a kitchen and ended up in a 3/4 bed detached which had a functioning kitchen. Prices were much lower then but the bit about prices still holds and things have a habit of working out for a reason but you have to be flexible, run with it and do things that are hard work sometimes.

RLABC · 27/01/2019 09:19

This thread has made me realise what a cunting little arsehole he truly is That's the only thing you're taking from this thread? Really?!

BookwormMe2 · 27/01/2019 09:20

But in the grand scheme of things, does it matter if he did lie? If I had a choice between losing my dream house and shelling out for a new dishwasher, I know what I'd choose. Annoying to have to do so, but not worth losing a perfect home over.

AlexaAmbidextra · 27/01/2019 09:20

I pulled out because I was angry that he was deliberately damaging our lovely house

Well there you go. You made the decision you accept the consequence. Quite frankly you don’t sound old enough to buy a house. And it wasn’t ‘your’ lovely house. It was his.

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