To go back to this house?

[trapped2019]

We're trying to move house.

I hate where I live.

We've sold ours and found somewhere that we thought was perfect.

Got survey done, arranged removals, almost got to exchange etc. Then we went back for another viewing to measure up.

The vendor was starting to remove fixtures and fittings, things were broken and dirty.

We pulled out.

Since then, we have found nothing else. Nothing.

The vendor of that house put it back on the market and sold it last week.

Would it be even worth our time going back to them?

We could complete in a week and I know the vendor has already bought his new place so is paying two mortgages. He could move much more quickly with us than with his new buyers. Would that count?

I can't sleep for worrying about this. I'm in tears at thought of being trapped in our current home.

Help!

Tell me what I need to answer?

There is nothing else suitable on the market. My DH hates renting as it's dead money. I've been both a tenant and LL over the years and I've had enough of that shit. We do have six figure savings, it does happen. The vendor of the house refused to admit he was taking stuff out. That's called gaslighting. Our solicitor was useless. I'd ask for advice and she'd ignore us for days. Phone calls always ended with 'I'll consult with my supervisor' and we heard nothing back.

It was the vendor who shafted us. We'd paid for a full survey, deposit for removal firm (with packing) and even stated shopping for furniture. That bastard took it all way from me.

Unfortunately there are no morals in housebuying . If you want to contact the agent to make another offer that’s entirely up to you . Does not mean it will be accepted .

Is the kitchen in the house now then ? Or is he selling without a kitchen ?

How can the vendor deny taking the kitchen out when you were there whilst he was taking the kitchen out? With no floor? And dog shit everywhere?

The vendor of the house refused to admit he was taking stuff out. That's called gaslighting
I'm pretty sure that's not what gaslighting means...

Can you tell us exactly WHAT you meSn by 'ripping the kitchen out' - what was being removed/ripped out specifically?!

What exactly did you see him removing, OP?

So why do you want to go grovelling to the ‘bastard’?

You’re still not making a whole lot of sense

The vendor LIED to you. He did not gaslight you. Grow up.

Some people love a drama.

Your problem is of your own making.

You'll not be 'blowing your savings' if you rent because presumably you'll do what people who don't have six figures of savings do and pay your rent from your salary each month.

I guess the kitchen/floor story could be that the floor collapsed & so he was removing the kitchen so it could be replaced?

No idea about the dog poo though. Perhaps there was just one pile (more than enough of course), but I do get the feeling OP has a tendency to exaggerate.

But surely holding on to a house with loads of smack heads and fights is dead money?

What if you pull out of the sale and you can't find another buyer because of all the problems?

Personally, I wouldn't trust you. And it's really not ethical.

But...

You sound really desperate, so I'd say if you don't ask, you don't get. It's worth a try.

Because I need a house. I'm prepared to swallow my pride for a decent life for my family.

Tho TBH as those who have been helpful have pointed out, I'll probably just end up with a kipper, a shit streaked she'll.

I get why the OP's using the term gaslighting - she witnessed him removing items, then he turned it back onto her by saying she'd imagined it and that she was making it up.

Why won't you tell us exactly what you saw him removing in the kitchen, OP? Loads of posters have asked now, to make more sense of you walking away from the house, but you seem to be avoiding answering.

You should have been more assertive with your solicitor, there’s no way I would have just pulled out like a spoilt child because they didn’t get back to me about something so fundamental.

If you find your dream house in a few months, put in an offer and then have it accepted, and then someone else comes along and gazumps you and the vendor accepts them instead, are you honestly saying you’d say ‘ah well, no hard feelings, fair enough!’ I somehow doubt it from your attitude here!

I get the troll-hunting in that your thread sounds a bit unbelievable (not the six figure savings but just your weird attitude), but to be honest either way there’s someone writing this thread- either someone with a horrible attitude or someone who gets kicks out of winding people up- weird either way.

It is an awkward situation but it happens. Part of the reason you're finding it so stressful is the complete lack of support from your husband. He's the one who's pushing you into a corner - you either go to other house or let buyers down, according to him, but you seem stumped as he refuses to rent, and leaving you to make the decision. I expect it's you is it who has to do the dirty work of dealing with this, eg. The phone calls? If the buyers haven't got a chain behind them, perhaps you could delay to give you time to find somewhere else? Alot of it depends on their situation. I don't think going back to first choice is wise. He would have to let his buyers down, not only that you might even end up regretting going there! If you have to let buyers down so be it, but I'd take their situation into account first ( even though you don't have to). Do you know what their situation is? Are they desperate to move into yours? I don't know how many times you've brought and sold before but these things happen. Sometimes a whole chain collapses. Sometimes people find their dream home to be let down last minute. If you have to let your buyers down explain why, will help lessen the blow. And if you do stay where you are temporarily, it's just that - temporary! Finally, if your buyers can wait, you may be able to find somewhere else with no chain and still move fairly quickly.

We'd paid for a full survey, deposit for removal firm (with packing) and even stated shopping for furniture. That bastard took it all way from me.

Full Survey - fair enough if property is older than 20 years
Deposit for removals - a bit precipitous to do so until exchange and completion date confirmed.
Shopping - madness

In the end your choices though, not his. If he was taking kitchen out did you not take pictures? Maybe he wanted it for new property? Were you using a solicitor or a conveyancing firm to cut costs?

You are choosing to be trapped. You have savings, you have a salary so you have options. Any reasonable person would sell the house where they feel unsafe and miserable and rent somewhere nicer for a while until they find a property to buy. Renting puts you in a good position when you eventually find the property you want as you can move quickly and will be an appealing choice to the vendor.

The only thing that is holding you back is your own attitudes and beliefs.

Tell me what I need to answer?

What did you think would happen after you pulled out?

The kitchen story is still nonsensical it takes one photo to prove it.

Also, he may now have a cash buyer, but more likely mortgage, so a kitchen is in the house now.

I'm starting to think that you over-exaggerated what you saw in the hope of shaving a few £££ off the price - you've already demonstrated no morals/ethics.

Maybe you thought so close to exchange he would cave but if backfired.

And you were too proud to concede so you followed-though your threat to walk!

Is that the pride you're prepared to swallow?

Are you quite alright, OP?

OP in all honesty reading between the lines you are angry at the wrong person

You want to move and get out - your DH does not - that is where your issue is as a couple.

Renting as a short term solution isnt dead money - its making sure that the area is right and you get the right house

Because the real question is if you have all these savings why are you in such an awful area

@trapped2019 has he reduced the cost of the house for the new buyers? To reflect the lack of kitchen?

Am I invisible? Could someone clarify they can see me?

"That bastard took it all way from me."

Or indeed you had some agency and made the decision to pull out.

It's no wonder your discussions about this become screaming matches. It's like talking to a brick wall.

Grow up. Sell up. Rent. Not trapped AT ALL.

Integrated appliances and light fittings.

The floor was probably destroyed when he dragged them across it. A couple of the cupboard doors were off too.

He denied all of it via the agents.

I'm not going back though. This thread has made me realise what a cunting little arsehole he truly is.