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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I being mean to say no on such a terrible night?

181 replies

Bottletopsx · 26/01/2019 10:41

61 live alone isolated area nearest neighbour 1/2 mile away. Two nights ago 10.30 very heavy snow.
Two men rang my doorbell saying there car had crashed in the snow, no phone battery left, could I take them to the main road about 2 miles away. I lied and said that I had been drinking so could not drive.
I offered my phone but they said they did not know any number by memory and would flag someone down on the main road for a lift.
Was I wrong to make them walk in the snow?
I was worried about taking 2 men in my car late at night and leaving my house empty but now I feel guilty

OP posts:
JulietAconite · 26/01/2019 10:43

I think you did the right thing.
Surely they would know the landline number of one family member or the the mobile of a partner or parent???
I wouldn't even have answered the door.

It wasn't life or death, they weren't alone or vulnerable.

Miane · 26/01/2019 10:43

No I wouldn’t have taken two strange men into my house either but I would have called a tow truck for them, and possibly the police to help them.

In fact after they’d declined my help I probably would have called the local police station anyway.

Mabelface · 26/01/2019 10:43

You absolutely did the right thing.

Ladyoftheloch · 26/01/2019 10:44

I don’t think so - a few things about that situation would have made me feel vulnerable and might have prevented me from offering help. And you offered what you could by way of the phone. It’s a shame for them, but sometimes you have to protect yourself when something doesn’t feel safe.

ShadyLady53 · 26/01/2019 10:44

I think you did the right thing. You can’t take risks with your personal safety and this could have been a ploy. You offered to call someone for them.

ShouldHaveListenedInBiology · 26/01/2019 10:44

I don’t think you should feel guilty. You went with your instinct and did what you were comfortable with, I think I would have done the same to be honest. They would have been fine walking 2 miles, that’s not that far really.

threesenoughthanks · 26/01/2019 10:44

No way would I have helped either. It sounds very dodgy. Even if it was true I'm sure a bit of snow wouldn't have done them any harm.

FetchezLaVache · 26/01/2019 10:45

I am very impressed at the speed of your thinking! You did absolutely the right thing.

Nothisispatrick · 26/01/2019 10:46

Absolutely not. They could’ve been entirely innocent but also they could’ve not been!

SusanneLinder · 26/01/2019 10:48

Nope, you did the right thing. Especially as they wanted a lift and not a rescue service/police.
If I had crashed, that's what I would have asked for.

cheeseislife8 · 26/01/2019 10:48

You did absolutely the right thing. Something sounds very dodgy about that... quick thinking on your part though!

riotlady · 26/01/2019 10:48

I would have done exactly the same -in fact I probably wouldn’t have even answered the door in the first place.

Although to everyone saying surely they know a number off by heart, the only one I know is my best friends from when I was a child and she doesn’t live there anymore!!

FullOfJellyBeans · 26/01/2019 10:49

I think that's fine. You offered them help in the way of your phone so if they were desperate they could have used that.

Original poster
Bottletopsx · 26/01/2019 10:52

Thank you everyone I feel better about it now x

OP posts:
ILoveautumnleaves · 26/01/2019 10:53

Of course you did the right thing.

I’d have offered to call a rescue service, but that’s it. Then I’d have called the police in case they tried it on with anyone less sensible.

I’m not saying they were dodgy, but best to err on the side of caution.

Every time my neighbours drive me nuts I consider the isolated house in the country, then I decide that actually, I quite like the security of having neighbours.

Angelicwings · 26/01/2019 10:56

2 miles is not too far to walk really.

Also if they crashed in really heavy snow surely there'd be some similar risk to you and your car?

Both of them didn't have a working phone? One would be plausible, but neither of them?

What could have been their plan when they got to the main road?! Surely they'd really need collecting rather than just dumping on the main road if it's a remote area?

If they were that normal, they'd have asked if you could charge their battery just a little enough to get a phone number out of their phone which they could then ring.

I would not have left my house (or even opened the door without a chain) in such a remote area. Your safety comes first.

steff13 · 26/01/2019 10:56

That sounds like the beginning of a horror movie. You did the right thing.

User758172 · 26/01/2019 10:57

You absolutely did the right thing. Your personal safety must come first. Very quick thinking on your part to say you’d had a drink!

Angelicwings · 26/01/2019 10:58

Oh and once you're out of your house and in the car with 2 strange men - you're very vulnerable, as is your empty house. No you shouldn't have left. You did the right thing.

CountessVonBoobs · 26/01/2019 10:59

I also think you did the right thing. You didn't refuse to help, you just protected yourself and kept alive to the unfortunately real possibility they weren't genuine. You are never obliged to put yourself out for others more than you can reasonably afford (in any sense).

planespotting · 26/01/2019 11:00

Absolutely right. You opened the door and offered your phone, they surely must know or should have at hand a phone number for the AA ir whomever
Or could have rang a local taxi from your phone
They will be absolutely fine bow

planespotting · 26/01/2019 11:00

Now

VimFuego101 · 26/01/2019 11:01

I would have done the same. I would have called the local police hoping that they could come and assist but I wouldn't have let them in my home if I was alone.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 26/01/2019 11:01

Yes, I wouldn’t have taken the risk either.

pilates · 26/01/2019 11:01

I think you did the right thing.