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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was I being mean to say no on such a terrible night?

181 replies

Bottletopsx · 26/01/2019 10:41

61 live alone isolated area nearest neighbour 1/2 mile away. Two nights ago 10.30 very heavy snow.
Two men rang my doorbell saying there car had crashed in the snow, no phone battery left, could I take them to the main road about 2 miles away. I lied and said that I had been drinking so could not drive.
I offered my phone but they said they did not know any number by memory and would flag someone down on the main road for a lift.
Was I wrong to make them walk in the snow?
I was worried about taking 2 men in my car late at night and leaving my house empty but now I feel guilty

OP posts:
diddl · 26/01/2019 12:41

Get in a car with 2 stranger at 10.30 at night-no way!

I'd have been in bed & probably wouldn't have heard the doorbell tbh!

SluggishSnail · 26/01/2019 12:45

It sounds unusual that neither of them would have a phone, if they were out on a snowy evening, so for that reason I would be suspicious.

If, on the other hand, they had help on the way, I would probably have offered them a hot drink while waiting.

Lizzie48 · 26/01/2019 12:51

You definitely did the right thing, it all sounds very suspicious, especially the fact that they wouldn't use your phone to call for help.

mrsjoyfulprizeforraffiawork · 26/01/2019 12:52

You did the right thing. However, I highly recommend having a rule that you never answer the door after dark - I live alone too (albeit in a much more populated area) and I stick to this - if it is someone you know, they will come another time or call you first. If it is a stranger, hard luck to them.

kaytee87 · 26/01/2019 12:59

@mrsjoyfulprizeforraffiawork Grin where I am the suns only up between 8.45 and 3.45ish in midwinter. Imagine not answering the door at 3.50pm because it's after dark Grin

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 26/01/2019 13:08

You did the right thing. But really they shouldn't have expected you to do it and put you in that situation. A lone female 10.30 at night? They could have been anyone.

AWishForWingsThatWork · 26/01/2019 13:10

They were almost certainly dodgy in that they didn't ask you to: ring the police, a breakdown service or a taxi for them, which is what a genuinely stranded person would probably have done. You did the right thing

Exactly this.

What's the point on being on 'the main road' in the snow that no one will be out in when the real issue is getting help to get their car retrieved and taken someplace with them safely.

They were dodgy by the sounds of it.

InSightMars · 26/01/2019 13:28

You did the right thing OP. Another wondering how getting to the main road would help them. At that time of night in heavy snow there wouldn’t be that many cars to flag down and most drivers wouldn’t stop to pick up random strangers anyway. I’d have offered to call a roadside rescue service, a taxi or a friend for them but certainly not go anywhere with them in my car or let them in my house.

BlueChip19 · 26/01/2019 13:48

Also, if you had agreed to drive them and they had harmed you, what’s the first question the police would have asked: “Why did you let two strangers get into your car?”

SadOtter · 26/01/2019 14:04

Last time we had heavy snow I walked 3 miles to work and 3 miles back, it was a bit cold but perfectly doable (I am not fit) 2 grown men will have been absolutely fine walking 2 miles, if they really were walking that is, I suspect it was a scam though and you did the right thing keeping yourself safe while still offering some help.

HeyNannyNanny · 26/01/2019 14:10

Seems dodgy as hell to me. All kinds of reasons why they would benefit from seperating you in your car.
The obvious aside, they could have had more people waiting to raid the house when empty etc

HeyNannyNanny · 26/01/2019 14:11

I'd take it as a hint to increase your security.
You can get cheap fake CCTV cameras as a deterrent, for example.

Coffeebean76 · 26/01/2019 14:33

If they were legit surely they would have asked that you charge one of their phones for 10 mins whilst the waited outside and then they would have all their contact numbers to hand.

Ifangyow · 26/01/2019 14:35

You did the right thing OP.
Three things jump out at me with this.

  1. They stated that their phone had died. If they were members of a breakdown company and they had the number stored in their phone, then they couldn't have retrieved it anyway, however if they had the number separately in their wallet for example, then they would have been happy to either phone them from your phone, or handed you the number for you to phone them. Alternatively, they could have given you the name of the breakdown company for you to look up the number for them.
  2. If driving conditions were such that they lost control and crashed, then how could they reasonably expect that you wouldn't do the same.
  3. If they had all their numbers stored on their dead phones, they could have asked you to phone directory enquiries to get the number, after all they surely knew the name and address of someone they want to contact.
Purplecatshopaholic · 26/01/2019 14:47

Half ten at night? I wouldnt answer the door or even the phone after about nine. This sounds well dodgy and you totally did the right thing.

Mushroomsarehorrible · 26/01/2019 15:00

God no way, you totally did the right thing, OP. I live rurally and if DH is away I’m very wary about even opening the door at night.

Suspicious that neither of their phones had any juice, sounds like bollocks to me

Parthenope · 26/01/2019 15:10

It would depend on the women- two butch ones that looked like they could overpower me then they would receive a no.

I'm hoping that I am misreading this comment, which verges on the homophobic. There being no correlation between styles of lesbian gender presentation and physical strength. Hmm

Original poster
Bottletopsx · 26/01/2019 16:19

I did not see any car as they said they had already walked about half a mile to my house. I have not heard of any car accident locally and neighbours did not hear or see anything.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 26/01/2019 16:23

styles of lesbian gender presentation

You're the only one who mentioned sexuality.

user1457017537 · 26/01/2019 16:24

I would call the police and ask if someone could come round. These two may have committed a crime after you refused to help them. It sounds like a scam to me. Obviously they didn’t want to use a phone.

rubyroot · 26/01/2019 16:30

*It would depend on the women- two butch ones that looked like they could overpower me then they would receive a no.

I'm hoping that I am misreading this comment, which verges on the homophobic. There being no correlation between styles of lesbian gender presentation and physical strength.*

Oh dear- why is this homophobic? Butch women can be heterosexual or homosexual. I think you need to look at the stereotypes you hold my dear.

rubyroot · 26/01/2019 16:32

@SoupDragon- yes indeed, thanks for this. Bloody hell- can't say anything without someone taking you out of context and blaming you for homophobia, racism, sexism etc

TooManyPaws · 26/01/2019 16:36

Very strange thing to ask. I live on a farm road which isn't gritted so idiots who don't know how to drive in the country slide into the ditch. As I'm the only house actually on the road rather than up an access road, I get them at my door. All they ask for is to use the phone and exactly where they are. I also point them in the direction of the farmer who will pull them out with his tractor.

Of course, I also have large, noisy and protective dogs who surround me during these conversations at my door.

Parthenope · 26/01/2019 16:58

I am well aware that not all butch women are gay, but I remain interested in ruby's correlation between butchness and an ability to 'overpower' her.

Parthenope · 26/01/2019 16:59

Bloody hell- can't say anything without someone taking you out of context and blaming you for homophobia, racism, sexism etc

Does this happen to you a lot? Hmm

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