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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I being mean to say no on such a terrible night?

181 replies

Bottletopsx · 26/01/2019 10:41

61 live alone isolated area nearest neighbour 1/2 mile away. Two nights ago 10.30 very heavy snow.
Two men rang my doorbell saying there car had crashed in the snow, no phone battery left, could I take them to the main road about 2 miles away. I lied and said that I had been drinking so could not drive.
I offered my phone but they said they did not know any number by memory and would flag someone down on the main road for a lift.
Was I wrong to make them walk in the snow?
I was worried about taking 2 men in my car late at night and leaving my house empty but now I feel guilty

OP posts:
ferrier · 27/01/2019 18:11

This thread should be a lesson to all those who know no phone numbers to either learn them or keep them written down and always with you. And make sure your children do the same.

MummyofTw0 · 27/01/2019 18:13

It would have been unsafe to do so and you could have opened yourself up for burgulary

I think the right thing to do would be to offer to ring a breakdown service

SherbrookeFosterer · 27/01/2019 18:16

You trusted your instincts. Something must have triggered mistrust, so don't beat yourself up about it.

Two grown men can take care of themselves.

onegiftedgal · 27/01/2019 18:16

You did the right thing. I can't get over how conveniently they broke down just by your property which is in the middle of nowhere. Reeks of suspicion. Glad you are OK.

Aaaahfuck · 27/01/2019 18:18

Both of them had dead phones? I don't buy it. Not even enough batter to check a number?

bubblegumunicorn · 27/01/2019 18:20

Surely they could

sprot · 27/01/2019 18:21

I was driving one day when a woman was running and flagged me down she desperately needed to get to the dentist and her phone was flat but she had just left home🥴I happily let her jump in my car and I drive her the two miles without a thought.
My husband and teenage son were horrified that she could of been anyone and attacked me.
The point is if it had been a man I wouldn’t have dreamt of stopping but the risk was the same really with the woman

bubblegumunicorn · 27/01/2019 18:21

Sorry pressed enter too soon should say

Surely they could have googled tow trucks if they were that desperate they might have had quite sinister intentions!

sprot · 27/01/2019 18:22

You did the right thing

Butterymuffin · 27/01/2019 18:25

They could have asked you to call the police for them to help them and sort out their crashed car. Sounds dodgy.

formerbabe · 27/01/2019 18:27

You did the right thing.

JimCricket · 27/01/2019 18:30

No you did the right thing, completely. Too risky

InionEile · 27/01/2019 18:36

Can't believe they even asked you, a woman, to go out of your house and drive them, two men, 2 miles down the road and on a snowy night as well.

What made them think you would do that? What woman would? Shows the asymmetry between the thoughtless lives men lead and the level of threat most women have to navigate every day of our lives.

Butterfly84 · 27/01/2019 18:41

You absolutely did the right thing OP. And you offered them your phone so they could have called breakdown repair.

You didn't know them. If you'd gone out with them, you would have made yourself vulnerable to burglary or an attack.

manicmij · 27/01/2019 18:51

You definitely did the right thing. Anyone in their circunstances would even phone the emergency services for assistance, eg recovery service. They were con artists uf nit not worse. Have you mentioned to police? I would.

Ethel36 · 27/01/2019 18:59

It doesn't make sense that they crashed in the snow so instead of walking the two miles, they wanted you to drive?! You did the right thing. I would have offered my phone for them to use to contact the AA, recovery or a taxi? But it's odd that both of them didn't have a phone?!

Serin · 27/01/2019 19:01

I would still report this to the police community support officer. I dont want to worry you but they could have been "casing your property up".
Dont open the door next time. CakeBrew

MarieLL59 · 27/01/2019 19:01

That does sound so dodgy. I had the reverse situation when my car broke down late one night on a main ‘A’ road. Typically my phone battery had died so I had to walk along the verge for about two miles ( so dangerous ). When I got to civilisation I was nervous about knocking on a strange house, so instead headed for an all night supermarket where the manager very kindly opened a new charger and charged my phone for me enough to get help. Anyway, that’s my point really, why didn’t those men ask for their phone to be charged? Why ask for a lift? You did exactly the right thing. By the way by the time I eventually got home it was so late, my poor dogs who’d been shut in all that time had left me a ‘welcome home’ present of a trail of diarrhoea aimed only at soft furnishings all through the house 🙄

Pinkbells · 27/01/2019 19:04

What they said didn't stack up - they said they had no phone battery and yet they declined the offer of using your phone. So that is suspicious and you did absolutely the right thing.

BramRang · 27/01/2019 19:15

Where in the country do you live, OP? A similar thing happened to my DP's grandmother (late 60s) a few weeks ago, when she was home alone (Shropshire) at about 8pm. Two men again. She invited them in WHY and offered use of the phone and they asked for a lift to a nearby garage. When she told them she couldn't drive but her Grandson would be there soon and he could help, they stole her purse and left (still not 100% sure how this happened as I've only heard the story second hand from BIL).

kateandme · 27/01/2019 19:29

id assume they wanted me out the house(unable to call for help) in my car then would tell me to get out once down the road and steal my car.

caringcarer · 27/01/2019 19:29

Absolutely you did the sensible option. If they were desperate they would have asked you to phone police or breakdown service. Nobody should be inviting 2 strange men into their home if they are alone.

GlitterStick · 27/01/2019 19:45

I usually like to help if I can, but no way would I have gone off in a car with two strangers.
Basic personal safety! You definitely did the right thing, and did try to help by offering to phone someone.

RedWineIsFabulous · 27/01/2019 19:49

This sounds like something that had the possibility of ending up on crime watch and thank goodness it didn’t.

Absolutely you did the right thing.

RedWineIsFabulous · 27/01/2019 19:50

Imo nobody should be inviting any stranger into their homes. Sign of the times unfortunately.