Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I being mean to say no on such a terrible night?

181 replies

Bottletopsx · 26/01/2019 10:41

61 live alone isolated area nearest neighbour 1/2 mile away. Two nights ago 10.30 very heavy snow.
Two men rang my doorbell saying there car had crashed in the snow, no phone battery left, could I take them to the main road about 2 miles away. I lied and said that I had been drinking so could not drive.
I offered my phone but they said they did not know any number by memory and would flag someone down on the main road for a lift.
Was I wrong to make them walk in the snow?
I was worried about taking 2 men in my car late at night and leaving my house empty but now I feel guilty

OP posts:
45redballoons · 26/01/2019 11:25

Just to be clear, from OPs story I do think these people were dodgy and OP did the right thing, I would have said it sounded dodgy if it were two women but I don’t know how I would have reacted if faced with women.

DayManChampionOfTheSun · 26/01/2019 11:25

C0untDucku1a noni realise, I just thought you made a good point that some people may be led into a safer sense of security if it had been two women instead of two men.

I think I may have seen too many horror movies though haha

Nellabella · 26/01/2019 11:27

Sounds like they wanted to get you out of the house to get someone in there whilst you were gone, there is a worse scenario but that's unlikely. Trust your instincts always - if they were genuine they'd have asked for you to ring the police/breakdown etc and wait to see if you offered them to come in or not.

EarthboundMisfit · 26/01/2019 11:29

You did the right thing.

C0untDucku1a · 26/01/2019 11:29

Yes sorry i just realised what you both meant. Women are used by traffickers and criminals. Women are addicts. We need to be alert at all fimes to men and women.

I dont even answer the phone after 9pm. The door has no chance Grin

caoraich · 26/01/2019 11:31

I've been that person - phone battery died due to walking in the cold and using Google earth/ GPS to find my way to the nearest house. BUT I wouldn't have dreamed of asking for a lift. I don't know any numbers either but got them to ring the AA for me and police.

I was actually a bit anxious when the (perfectly nice normal) woman invited me in - I wouldn't have got in a car with her! Then again maybe cos I'm a woman I feel more vulnerable.

Anyway while I wouldn't 100% say it was a scam, you definitely did the right thing.

Inertia · 26/01/2019 11:33

Your response was good- quick thinking about the drinking.

I wouldn't have gone with anyone in those circumstances. They could have given you their car details and asked you to call the police. As another poster suggested, it would probably have been a good idea to call the police anyway.

DayManChampionOfTheSun · 26/01/2019 11:34

C0untDucku1a totally agree! Eurgh it gives me the shivers!

I thought someone was knocking at my door the other night and I was so freaked out. It turned out it was next door banging about in their house. Hahahaha!

GreenyBlueEyes · 26/01/2019 11:37

You absolutely did the right thing, as pp says, it wasn't life or death.

2 miles is not far to walk in an emergency for most grown men and it is a bit unusual that they had no phones or numbers to call. They could have asked you to ring a breakdown service.

You offered the most sensible solution. Even if they were innocent, what was the point you risking getting stuck in the snow?

MirriVan · 26/01/2019 11:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nicoala1 · 26/01/2019 11:38

I never go anywhere without my small power pack and tiny lead.

My car has usb ports.

Gattara · 26/01/2019 11:46

Agree with everyone else, you absolutely did the right thing, sadly you just dont know these days what motives might be. You could also think about phoning your local station (if such a thing exists) or the non-urgent number to check if there have been reports of incidents in the area you need to be aware of.

carrotflinger · 26/01/2019 11:46

You did the right thing. Sounds a bit fishy to be honest.
If they'd been able to come up with a telephone number to phone then it might have been different. Or they could have said can you call the police for us please or the AA or RAC or other motoring association.
Was there any sign of the crashed car anywhere the next day?

LadyandGent · 26/01/2019 11:47

I wouldn't have brought them either.
But this reminds me, that I should actually carry a small list of friends/family's numbers with me as I got locked out of my house two nights ago, phone left inside, and had nobody's number to call. Rather depressing!

wanderings · 26/01/2019 11:53

Related to this, I was driving alone (very remote road) when I saw an oncoming driver crash his car into a tree; the car then caught fire. Keeping my distance, I parked and called the fire brigade, and watched the driver getting out of the car.

Keeping my distance, I approached the driver to see if he was all right, and to try and see if anybody else was in the car: he seemed to be in shock. I offered to call somebody for help, but he politely refused, and asked if I'd called anybody, so I told him I'd called the fire brigade. My suspicion is that he was probably drunk, and didn't want the police turning up, so I drove away then, having noted the number plate, just in case.

Returning2thesceneofthecrime · 26/01/2019 11:59

You did the right thing. Quick thinking regarding the drinking. You could have offered to call the AA or non-emergency police for them but that is as far as I would go.

Oh, and I would have said ‘we’ had been drinking, for all they know your DH could have just gone to the bathroom or to bed (ie someone else is around and in shouting distance).

Chewbecca · 26/01/2019 12:09

Very curious to know if you have seen the crashed car in daylight today? I think I would go looking for it!

Andromeida59 · 26/01/2019 12:12

I think the OP should ring 101. Of course this may be entirely innocent but if not, it's worth the Police knowing.

SoupDragon · 26/01/2019 12:12

I agree that you did the right thing.

However, I don't know anyone's phone number either! Other than my home number, my XHs number and the numbers of my childhood home and that ofmy friend from 30 years ago 🙄

BiscuitDrama · 26/01/2019 12:16

If they’d been legit surely they’d have asked if you had a phone charger?

cantfindname · 26/01/2019 12:18

I have heard of this and it is a scam. One of them would have asked to use your bathroom while the other kept you talking. The one 'using your bathroom' would have been doing a quick recce and stolen any jewellery you had in your bedroom.

Sad, but that's how things are these days.

YourFly · 26/01/2019 12:18

Sounds fishy.

I would have lied as well, and said my husband drives not me, & he is busy in his office at home.

If that makes me sound weak & that I need a man, so be it. I dont.

I often tell tradespeople it will be me or my DH in, when they visit.

Total lie but it makes me feel better & I bet I get a fairer quote.

Yabbers · 26/01/2019 12:33

They crashed their car in heavy snow and then wanted you to drive them in heavy snow? Man or woman, threat or not, I wouldn’t have done that.

I’d have offered them the choice to call the police and nothing more.

Surely they would know the landline number of one family member or the the mobile of a partner or parent???
I don’t know my partner’s mobile nr. It’s in my phone. Everyone else lives 200 miles away.

Yabbers · 26/01/2019 12:35

I have heard of this and it is a scam.

Equally, people do crash cars in isolated areas, in snow. My parents regularly have genuine people at their door asking for help.

Meralia · 26/01/2019 12:41

This does sound dodgy. There’s no way I would take 2 men I didn’t know in my car, especially in treacherous weather. You offered your phone. You 100% did the right thing. Don’t feel guilty.