Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I being mean to say no on such a terrible night?

181 replies

Bottletopsx · 26/01/2019 10:41

61 live alone isolated area nearest neighbour 1/2 mile away. Two nights ago 10.30 very heavy snow.
Two men rang my doorbell saying there car had crashed in the snow, no phone battery left, could I take them to the main road about 2 miles away. I lied and said that I had been drinking so could not drive.
I offered my phone but they said they did not know any number by memory and would flag someone down on the main road for a lift.
Was I wrong to make them walk in the snow?
I was worried about taking 2 men in my car late at night and leaving my house empty but now I feel guilty

OP posts:
theDudesmummy · 26/01/2019 17:03

You did the right thing

SoupDragon · 26/01/2019 17:05

I remain interested in ruby's correlation between butchness and an ability to 'overpower' her.

I remain intersted in why you brought sexuality into it.

It's fairly obvious that a more "masculine" looking woman is likely to look more masculine because they appear bigger and stronger. Obviously they aren't always going to be stronger, nor is the petite kick boxer going to be unable to overpower someone.

ginpink · 26/01/2019 17:07

You did the right thing Smile

SaturdayNext · 26/01/2019 17:07

It's very odd that they weren't interested in phoning the local garage or the police, the numbers of which you could presumably have found out for them. You clearly did the right thing.

Jaxhog · 26/01/2019 17:19

You did the right thing. Not knowing a number to call was very dodgy!

Speaking as someone who actually walked a mile and a half that night, 2 miles isn't too far to walk.

Jaxhog · 26/01/2019 17:23

Thinking about it, why would you even think to drive if they'd already crashed in those conditions?

I wouldn't even have answered the door at that time tbh.

halfwitpicker · 26/01/2019 17:26

YANBU. Like pps I wouldn't even answer the door.

rubyroot · 26/01/2019 17:27

*Bloody hell- can't say anything without someone taking you out of context and blaming you for homophobia, racism, sexism etc

Does this happen to you a lot? hmm*

Actually no as I am careful about what I say. But it happens a lot online and in forums, twitter etc

rubyroot · 26/01/2019 17:29

It's fairly obvious that a more "masculine" looking woman is likely to look more masculine because they appear bigger and stronger. Obviously they aren't always going to be stronger, nor is the petite kick boxer going to be unable to overpower someone.

Yes this was what was intended by my post

Mitsouko67 · 26/01/2019 17:35

Sounds like you had a narrow escape. Those two gentlemen were up to no good. Have you reported to police? They may well known them/ their modus operandi.

Sexykitten2005 · 26/01/2019 18:25

I wouldn’t have taken the risk. At that time of night living on my own I won’t even open the door most of the time and I get so many lost takeaway drivers trying to deliver other people’s food to me.
I’m desperate for one of those video doorbells so I don’t even have to get up to speak through the door

TooTrueToBeGood · 27/01/2019 12:39

I wouldn't have taken the risk and I'm a physically confident 6'3" male. Two strangers at my door trying to persuade me to drive them somewhere on the back of some cock and bull story? A quick check in mirror to see if I zip up the back..... and the answer is no.

swinkle · 27/01/2019 12:54

You definitely did the right thing. Never go to the secondary location!

ton181 · 27/01/2019 17:26

You did the right thing whether male or female.

Alexandra2018 · 27/01/2019 17:32

You did the right thing imagine what could've happened to you if they were dangerous

Italiangreyhound · 27/01/2019 17:45

@Bottletopsx you did the right thing. 100% Think no more about it.

It sounds dodgy.

But even if it was not dodgy then you are not required to put yourself in danger for two men who come to the door. Not at all, never.

Thanks
FuckOffMeadowSoprano · 27/01/2019 17:50

I would have done the same OP.

woolduvet · 27/01/2019 17:56

Excellent response by you, but please be more wary of actually opening your door. Hope you put the chain on etc.

greenpop21 · 27/01/2019 17:56

Absolutely no reason to feel guilt. Unfortunately for women this is a very real risk.

Grace212 · 27/01/2019 18:00

OP you did the right thing

I wouldn't even have answered the door! I hope to live somewhere like where you live one day, I'd be alone, and yep...I wouldn't have answered the door. I might have shouted through a window to find out what they wanted but that would be it.

RB68 · 27/01/2019 18:04

I would have also called 101 to alert them to them - they can then make the decision to come out and rescue them or investigate etc. 2m is a long way in snow and snowing in minus temps and the wrong clothes and footwear

Personally sounds like a way to kidnap people and get them to drive to a cash machine etc

PumpkinPie2016 · 27/01/2019 18:04

I'd have done the same as you OP. They may well have been perfectly innocent but for two people to not know a single number between them to call is a tad suspicious.

Plus I would not risk taking unknown people (whether male or female) in my car - especially in a rural area.

Drum2018 · 27/01/2019 18:04

That was quick thinking to say you'd had a drink. You definitely did the right thing.

RoodleNoodle · 27/01/2019 18:07

Few things don't add up to me.

  1. Both mobiles were dead. Not likely but I suppose possible.
  2. They crashed their car but want you to drive. If the snow was that bad why would they risk a 2nd accident.
  3. They declined to use your phone. They could have asked you to Google a number even if they haven't got AA etc.
  4. Could not remember a single number. Everyone remembers at least one, don't they? Even if that person can't help, they can get help.

I ran out of petrol on a country lane with a young baby. I didn't have a phone so I knocked on the door of the nearest house. The lady didn't let me in but did give me a blanket for DD and let me phone my DB to come get me. A police car drove passed us sitting at the side of the road but didn't stop to help.
You definitely did the right thing.

cyclecamper · 27/01/2019 18:11

They wanted you to drive them in conditions in which they had already crashed?

Nope. You did the right thing.