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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was I being mean to say no on such a terrible night?

181 replies

Bottletopsx · 26/01/2019 10:41

61 live alone isolated area nearest neighbour 1/2 mile away. Two nights ago 10.30 very heavy snow.
Two men rang my doorbell saying there car had crashed in the snow, no phone battery left, could I take them to the main road about 2 miles away. I lied and said that I had been drinking so could not drive.
I offered my phone but they said they did not know any number by memory and would flag someone down on the main road for a lift.
Was I wrong to make them walk in the snow?
I was worried about taking 2 men in my car late at night and leaving my house empty but now I feel guilty

OP posts:
Consolidatedyourloins · 26/01/2019 11:02

YANBU. Surely they could have asked you to call the AA? They don't have to be members and the AA would have been able to advise further.

45redballoons · 26/01/2019 11:03

I wonder if we would have said the same thing if it were two women. That being said it’s odd that both of them had dead phones don’t you think? The only number I remember off by heart is my mum’s who wouldn’t have been loads of use as she lives so far away so not unusual not to remember numbers, but I’m very conscious this makes me vulnerable and I need to remember them.

rubyroot · 26/01/2019 11:05

They're absolutely mental if they think asking you was going to result in a yes. It would be an absolute no- I think two grown men can handle 2 miles. Sounds dodgy to be honest.

rubyroot · 26/01/2019 11:06

@Bottletopsx did you see that there was a crashed car? Just out of interest?

C0untDucku1a · 26/01/2019 11:06

I wouldnt have answered the door! I certainly would not have driven two unknown men anywhere. Two miles? Ive walked more alone at 2am when taxis went on strike! in my teens

I also may have phoned the non-emergency police number as the decline of a phone does make me wonder. To know not one number?!

rubyroot · 26/01/2019 11:08

I wonder if we would have said the same thing if it were two women.

It would depend on the women- two butch ones that looked like they could overpower me then they would receive a no. Let's not be politically correct about this- attacks on women of this nature would more likely be from a man- there's evidence and stats to support this. Men are physically stronger and it would be easy to overpower a woman- this is a fact too.

CountessVonBoobs · 26/01/2019 11:08

I wonder if we would have said the same thing if it were two women.

Why should we? There are times when a reverse-gender thought experiment makes absolute sense, like workplace issues. But in threat assessments gender is a HUGE factor that absolutely cannot be ignored, and every professional in the area will tell you the exact same thing.

MrsJayy · 26/01/2019 11:09

I don't think anybody would have let them in tbh you did the right thing

NC4Now · 26/01/2019 11:09

I’ve watched too many horror films to ever agree to this. You did right.

C0untDucku1a · 26/01/2019 11:10

45redballoons Do you think there could be any reason women alone would react differently to two strange men at 10.30 who only wanted one type of help, which involved getting a woman alone in her transport -not theirs. Not traceable back to them- away from her home, than other women? I mean it is like we have been trained to believe that men are the most significant risk to women for some unknown reason Hmm

NutElla5x · 26/01/2019 11:10

Firstly I am so impressed with your quick thinking-I'm sure I would have felt panicked under those circumstances and not known what excuse to make. Secondly you absolutely did the right thing,you were in a more vulnerable situation than them at that time. Give yourself a pat on the back for getting yourself out of a potentially dangerous situation so cleverly,and then think no more about it x

DayManChampionOfTheSun · 26/01/2019 11:11

I would have offered to call aa or something for them but I wouldn't have taken them anywhere or let them in my house. I probably would have only had this conversation from the upstairs window as well. Yanbu OP, don't feel bad.

TooTrueToBeGood · 26/01/2019 11:12

Sounds like some kind of set up or scam. Neither had working mobiles, neither knew anyone they could call for help and how exactly would driving them to the main road have solved their problem? Besides, why would 2 grown men chap up a complete stranger for a ridiculous favour to save a 2 mile walk? It doesn't make any sense. They were either getting you out the house so someone else could burgle it or they were going to dump you in the middle of nowhere and steal your car.

Butteredghost · 26/01/2019 11:12

I think you acted quite reasonably. I'm sure they were telling the truth, but what if they weren't? And doesn't it seem weird that both their phones were out of charge, and they had no charger in the car? (even if car crashed they could have put the charger on for a few minutes and got 2% battery, enough to send a text or look up a number).

kaytee87 · 26/01/2019 11:13

@45redballoons are you suggesting that men and women are the same?

Op you did the right thing. 2 miles isn't too long a walk.

Drogosnextwife · 26/01/2019 11:14

If they had crashed then surely they would want to phone a break down service or something not a family member. And they were asking you to risk crashing in the heavy snow to take them somewhere. Sounds strange to me, probably innocent but why take the risk. You did the right thing and offered to let them call someone. Also bit strange that neither of them had a phone.

DayManChampionOfTheSun · 26/01/2019 11:14

Do you think there could be any reason women alone would react differently to two strange men at 10.30 who only wanted one type of help, which involved getting a woman alone in her transport -not theirs. Not traceable back to them- away from her home, than other women? I mean it is like we have been trained to believe that men are the most significant risk to women for some unknown reason

Actually, I would act the exact same way if it had been two women as opposed to men. It is just as unlikely both of their phones had died and that neither of them knew any telephone numbers of someone they could call.

ReanimatedSGB · 26/01/2019 11:14

They were almost certainly dodgy in that they didn't ask you to: ring the police, a breakdown service or a taxi for them, which is what a genuinely stranded person would probably have done. You did the right thing.

MsMightyTitanAndHerTroubadours · 26/01/2019 11:15

tbh if they were up to no good they would likely have barrelled their way into the house and gone about their nefarious business

the fact that there was two of them and they took the refusal well implies to me they thought they might chance knocking at the one house just to see if that might make the situation any better with a Plan B, it didn't and so they just carried on with Plan A...walk to the main road.

Did you ever see the crashed car? Is there evidence of a mishap now the snow has gone?

ReanimatedSGB · 26/01/2019 11:17

Also, two women at the door with an identical story to that... might have been sent to lure the householder out on behalf of their villainous boyfriends. The key point is that the callers wanted the OP to come out of her house and isolate herself with them in a car, rather than accepting offers to phone for help etc.

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 26/01/2019 11:19

How likely is it that both of their phones would be dead? Totally dodgy.

MrsJayy · 26/01/2019 11:19

I would have offeered a phone to women too I wouldn't have driven them or let them in either they have the ability to rob you just the same as men could.

MRex · 26/01/2019 11:21

I wouldn't have done it for 2 women either, that's very suspect. Let the community police officer know today in case it's a scam of sorts. I'd have offered to call somebody too. Odd that they have no breakdown cover, no phones, can't walk in snow but don't want police, no family member phone number, no cash nor credit card for a taxi... all very very odd. I'm glad you're safe and suspect you wouldn't have a car any more if you'd come out to drive them.

DishingOutDone · 26/01/2019 11:22

How in gods name did they expect you to drive, if the snow was so bad they had crashed? that's madness.

C0untDucku1a · 26/01/2019 11:22

DayMan as i already said, i wouldnt have opened the door at all at that time. I wouldn't have given anyone a lift. I was specifically responding to the poster who implied we treat men differently for no good reason.