Comments that stay with us

[whatacrapusername2306]

DD came home one day last week and said someone at school had called her ‘greasy hair’ She hasn’t btw, I am a hairdresser and wouldn’t allow her hair look a mess. She is still talking about this comment a week later. This has really flagged up some emotion in me from my school years. I remember every single nasty comment that was made to me. It can still bring me to tears when I think about it. Mostly comments on my appearance, size (I was small and thin) trampy clothes, squinty eye, nobody fancys you etc etc. It’s stupid I know, but has anyone else had a comment stay with them into adulthood?

Was called the ugliest in my group of friends. Probably true.

'Other people's legs have a shape, but yours go straight down.'

A lifetime of hiding my calves and thick ankles followed.

When I was about 15 I was in a park with a friend eating jumbo sausage rolls and a group of lads starting sing shouting WHO ATE ALL THE PIES.

It wasn’t aimed at my friend who was a tiny size 6-8. I was a size 12-14, and when i look back at pictures I was fine - maybe slightly chubby cheeks but not fat by any means. But it was devastating. Even now as an adult I feel uncomfortable eating in public even though I am a normal weight.

I did rather badly in my O levels, which was entirely my own fault and I knew this but was still upset when I got my results (I was only 15). My mother's response when I told her my results was 'well, that isn't very good, is it?' and rolled back over (she was still in bed).

I have never forgotten that.

I was chatting to a boy, I was about 16, and we were laughing and joking. He said something really funny and I cracked up and he looked at me and said "jesus you're ugly" and I kind of laughed a bit more half-heartedly but I was heartbroken.

Not from childhood but a comment from my mum recently which I will probably remember for a long time was when I told her I'm expecting another boy, she said: 'never mind'

On a school report:
'... is not a naturally gifted academic.'
I'm a teacher now and always put lots of thought into the comments on my reports.

At a teenage party a boy said that I was exactly like 'Meg' and that should be my real name. If anyone knows the reference it's the name of the daughter in Family Guy who is constantly told she is ugly and worthless.

It is ridicolous, but it still makes me want to cry and brings back the thoughts in my head at the time that I was ugly and worthless and this boy thought exactly the same.

Omg I just want to hug all the child/teen versions of these posters

@DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops, what a kind thing for your ex DP to have done

I remember clearly being told as a teenager by a boyfriend that I had put on weight and when I wore a skirt one day that I had my sausage legs on show. I stopped wearing skirts for a long time after that. I was actually very skinny at the time, I wish I was that slim now!

Dm told me, in my early teens, that I had mars bar lips that could stick me to a window, like Mick Jagger (her words). I do have full lips and have, as result, never ever worn red lipstick for fear that my gob will fill my face.
People now pay money to get lips like mine, but I still hate them.

My mother told me I should never have children because I would have ginger-haired twins with IQs of 60.
She also told me she was very annoyed when she found out she was expecting me as she didn't want to be anyone's mother.
I do not have any children. I have 2 younger siblings.
Luckily my father loved me.

My mum once told me that she didn't think I'd ever be happy,. as I "just wasn't a happy person"! That comment haunts me! I want to be a happy person, but feel I am doomed to never be one!

My uncle called me Thunderthighs as a child, and I have hated my thighs all my life since

“Anorexic” - because I was naturally very slim (this was from age 10 onwards).

Numerous names for being intelligent and working hard.

“You looked like a boy” said by my teacher when I was age 6 and we had to take baby photos into school.

And many other things I can remember from secondary school up to the present day...

Can't have been any older than 9 when my mum said she wished she'd never had me.
Could've been a passing comment, said in anger, didn't mean it etc... but it always stuck with me, and I still believe it to this day.

Also, weirdly someone said they think I'm quiet in bigger groups and better when in smaller groups, I had never realised this and it made me paranoid and now, I'm definitely quieter in bigger groups ha.

I have many. I was in care so I may as well have had a neon sign over my head for bullies, plenty of 'even your real parents don't want you' type comments. All through primary school for some reason a girl a year above singled me out, kept saying I had nits and would regularly stop the other kids playing with me because of it - I didn't have nits, not even dandruff! but I used to wear my hair half up which she would comment on and to this day I won't wear it like that now. I also have very thin hair and embarrassingly recall moments people asking me whether I was going bald or pointing out my receding hairline.... And then there was my 'friends' throughout school who were all larger/curvier than me and would often take the piss about how I had no boobs/bum, still have a complex about that but it helps that the older I get, the perkier I stay.
My sister told me when I was a preteen I had child bearing hips and I'm still not sure what to make of that comment.

I'll never forget my mother saying "Your future husband doesn't know how lucky he is just now". She then went on to explain that he was lucky that he hadn't yet met me because I would be a negative addition to his life.

If I were to mention it now she'd deny ever having said it, but I can clearly remember where we were. It means that now, aged 40, my relationship history is bleak. The only real relationship I've had (and am still 'in' now) is with someone who simply puts up with me, and I know he'll be off if someone better comes along. But that's fine as I'm apparently not a good person to have a relationship with (according to my mother). I've had years of counselling, but I still can't get past this.

I was about 6 and my mum had been on a date with the man who would later become my stepfather. My gran was babysitting and she'd allowed me to stay up too late reading stories with her and i was still awake. My mum said I should come and meet her bloke and I said I didn't want to.

Forty years later I still remember her screaming at me that she'd never find a new husband if I didn't learn some manners.

And forty years later that still sours my relationship with her and almost certainly was part of the reason that my stepfather and I have never got on very well. I doubt she even remembers.

I have a very vivid memory of wearing a new pinafore dress to school when I was around 8. One of the boys asked if I was pregnant and he and his friends all sang Cliff Richard's "Congratulations" to me. Kids can be so vile!

Maths teacher at Grammar School

"quite frankly my dear if you don't know the answer to that then you don't belong at this school"

Everyone laughed. I spent the rest of the lesson crying into my book - she never came and explained. Those words have haunted me ever since and I blame her for my lack of a single ounce of self belief in myself which I still hold to this day.

I was only thinking of this the other day, I was in Science class at high school so would of been 13 or 14. I use to hang out with a group of girls but I was the ugly one or so they said. I remember one of the girls turning round to me and saying Eww isn't she ugly. Everyone including the teacher just stared at me. I will never forget that, it crushed my confidence for years and I struggled later in life because of that one comment. Even though I have a wonderful husband and beautiful children I still feel ugly.

Foxandthehound

My mum shaved my hair off completely when I was in secondary school (she was a very abusive woman, I moved out at 17 and my younger brothers were soon put into care afterwards). Next day in school, everyone laughed at me and called me male names.

My mum didn't wash my school uniform in time for Monday and I was forced to wear black jeans to school. The school gave me trousers to wear, so I went into the female toilets to change my trousers. They stared at me, then ran out screaming and laughing. I can hear them shouting from outside 'there's a boy in there' (this was when I had my hair shaved). A teacher shortly come in and realised it was me and then spoke to the girls.

There's been loads of incidents that I was mistaken for a boy, from both adults and children. Nurse refused to give me my hpv until teacher confirmed I was a girl.

All of these made me heartbroken and knocked my confidence. I've never been a girly girl. Wore no makeup. Flat boobs until 16. Unisex school uniform. I now feel I look manly and it upsets me deeply, to this day.

I'm so sorry this happened to you, you sound like you've been through hell.
I can imagine though your a strong woman now but can understand that it has likely scared you badly and to thinking as you do even if you don't look masculine in any way you will think that.
I hope you've got the support you've needed to 'rebuild'

I was probably about 30. Had a job but applied for a new one which I didn’t get. I asked for feedback so the employer phoned me and made really personal comments about how I was well qualified on paper but I was awkward and nervous and made people feel uncomfortable around me. He said I need to be more bubbly and tell my face to cheer up, and he suggested contacting my GP because he thought I might be on the autism spectrum, and until I sort myself out nobody will give me a job because employers want to hire people they like.

I stayed in my existing job for a further six years until I had kids and decided to SAH. Never ever dared apply for another job ever again. Those comments still affect my self esteem.

My mum called me the Goodyear blimp because she thought it would 'encourage' me to lose weight. Felt utterly crushed.