Comments that stay with us

[whatacrapusername2306]

DD came home one day last week and said someone at school had called her ‘greasy hair’ She hasn’t btw, I am a hairdresser and wouldn’t allow her hair look a mess. She is still talking about this comment a week later. This has really flagged up some emotion in me from my school years. I remember every single nasty comment that was made to me. It can still bring me to tears when I think about it. Mostly comments on my appearance, size (I was small and thin) trampy clothes, squinty eye, nobody fancys you etc etc. It’s stupid I know, but has anyone else had a comment stay with them into adulthood?

Not from childhood but a comment from my mum recently which I will probably remember for a long time was when I told her I'm expecting another boy, she said: 'never mind'

I had that from my mum when I told her that my second child was going to be a girl (#1 was a girl). First reactions from the first 3 people I told:

DH: "That's disappointing"
My mum: (a few halfhearted sentences I can't remember along the lines of oh well, at least they said it seems healthy) then "Oh well you can always try again for a boy"
MIL (who DH had told about the pregnancy but not the sex) : "Oh." (pause) "We had thought it was going to be a boy, because DH sounded quite upbeat on the phone".

FUCK YOU ALL.

This thread is heartbreaking, to you all. There are some truly horrible people out there.

Mine is nothing compared to your experiences, when I was around 6 or 7 I was teased by the boys in my school for being "fat". I wasn't, I was a perfectly normal healthy child. However, over 30 years later and a size 8, I will always see the 'fat' person in the mirror even though I know I'm not, if that makes sense?

On the other side, the most positive memory that stick with me: at about 11 years old my dm, db and I went to a holiday cottage with our godmother. I was really into music at the time and would constantly be singing. I was clearly getting on GM's nerves (sorry GM!) as she said "all I can hear is insert tuneless, terrible impression and DB immediately jumped in with "I think kitten has a really nice voice, actually"

I've had CBT for some of the comments said to me and it really helped e.g. tying my hair back made my nose look bigger. So I didn't tie it back for decades.

This thread is shocking.
143Isaac, that is so heartbreaking. I hope you found peace and security later. 💜

I was (still am) fat, at age 13 I weighed 13 stone, I'm 5ft 0.

I wanted to diet but my mother would do the, "well I (big emphasis on I) don't think you're fat" so I wasn't allowed to diet and at 13 with no internet I had no idea how to make good choices.

If my mother ever said, "Well I don't think..." or "well I think you should..." there were no otions, no discussions she had to have total control.

She was waiting for an operation and got the letter saying the date and she was wittering about it, I made a comment and she said, "Wedll what else is happening on X date?" Nothing really, my 18th birthday so nothing important.

for all of us. My mother damaged me and my sister deeply, I’m 51 and she is long dead, but I still struggle to get her out of my head.
Nobody mattered except her.

@Offred2, I was observing a class and this evil man got one not-skinny child to say "ich heisse Elephant" before she realised what she was saying.

for all

Some comments just stay with you and are so deeply wounding you never forget them.

I was an overweight child and horribly sensitive about it. I was shy, bookish, hated the way I looked and was bullied badly from infant school onwards.

Once I got to 13 or so, though, I finally fell into a small circle of girls and felt part of a proper friendship group. I was especially in awe of one of them, I’ll call her E, who was tall and beautiful with gorgeous red hair, and a rather sardonic manner which was very attractive. I genuinely thought I was an equal member of this group until one day I found that, at E’s instigation, they were passing notes round referring to me as Bias ‘Fat’ Binding, and sniggering over them.

I was completely devastated that this girl I so admired had turned out to be a bully like everyone else, and the rest of the group had gone along with it.

Many years later, I’ve had a successful career, am financially very secure, have a lovely house etc etc - but I still remember that incident vividly and feel the same horrible sense of betrayal. I’ve spent my whole life being hugely conscious of my body and have had periods of controlling my eating, to a worrying degree (though that’s far in the past now).

My dd was an awful baby. She screamed day and night from the day she was born. At around 18months her hair started to fall out, doctor said it was alopecia. Basically she'd stressed herself out.
My df said it was all my fault because I shouted too much. Never ever forgot that. And for the record I didn't shout any more than any normal mum of 2 toddlers.

I’ll preface this by saying I love my parents dearly and they raised me in a loving household, if a bit strict.

Me aged 10 wearing new denim short shorts thinking I was the bees knees. My dad: “you shouldn’t be wearing things like that. You’ve got your mother’s legs”. So I learned that day that both me and my mum have awful legs!? I’ve never worn shorts since and never wear dresses without black tights/leggings.

Me aged about 14 (and very self conscious) after my mum had taken me shopping for a new outfit. I was chuffed with it. When we got home my mum told my dad that it was a size 14, accompanied by raised eyebrows.

A couple of years ago my gran offered me one of her jumpers because “it’s FAR too big for me but you’ll have to try it on because it might be a bit tight on you”.

In my early 20s I’d worked hard to lose weight and finally had a healthy bmi. I had taken up ballet again and the teacher brought in some second hand leotards in case anyone wanted one but said “I needn’t bother looking because none of them would fit because I’m a bit chunky”.

Man at work about 3 years ago asked when I got pregnant. I wasn’t pregnant and was a size 12.