Comments that stay with us

[whatacrapusername2306]

DD came home one day last week and said someone at school had called her ‘greasy hair’ She hasn’t btw, I am a hairdresser and wouldn’t allow her hair look a mess. She is still talking about this comment a week later. This has really flagged up some emotion in me from my school years. I remember every single nasty comment that was made to me. It can still bring me to tears when I think about it. Mostly comments on my appearance, size (I was small and thin) trampy clothes, squinty eye, nobody fancys you etc etc. It’s stupid I know, but has anyone else had a comment stay with them into adulthood?

Another from my mum "I only had one friend growing up" I was bullied horrible from 5-16 and she always chucked that line out at me when I was upset about it. To this day nobody can say anything without her being worse off

I used to get bullied about my hair it knocked my confidence that bad I ended up having it chemically straightened, extensions etc and it really damaged it. I'm trying to grow it back but it's very slow with my thyroid. Now I stick to wigs. It has grown abit but made to feel ashamed of it through comments made in past.

Some of these posts are awful. Sorry, but there’s no two ways about it - some kids are just utterly, utterly vile.

I was about 11 in school and a girl said she hated sitting next to me because I was a mout breather. Cue the next however many years trying not to breathe too loudly. I'm still aware of it.

A lot of comments from my mum about being overweight. I look back now - I was a normal size 12-14. She still made a comment this Christmas...'Large Arse'. I've lost 3 stone this year.

I've always been a bit awkward socially and was diagnosed very, very late with ASD this summer.

Over 10 years ago, when lamenting my lack of chitchat, my DF said "But you have a gift for intimacy". His comment was so kind and insightful. It's always stayed with me. And on consideration he was right.

When I was 17 I remember being being told by an older male in the group I hung around in, how quiet and boring I was - it has definitely stuck with me .......and I'm 49 now.

My father said to me as teenager "Are you going to be a miserable bitch your whole life"?.. Conveniently failing to acknowledge that I grew up in an extremely abusive home which he was part of and failed to prevent or even acknowledge and That was why I was so unhappy.

At work I am often mistaken for a man by customers.. Despite the fact that I have large boobs people will often call me son, or say "the man will wipe the table". I even had a couple discussing in Italian once whether I was male or female, not knowing that I understood what they were saying.

Hugely upsetting. I'm not incredibly feminine but I'm not incredibly manly either. Plus I have a female name badge!

Always worry about it now 😔

At

Age 13, on a residential school trip abroad, first time away from family so feeling vulnerable anyway. Someone who I didn't know particularly well was sharing my dorm. She looked at me and said, "God, you're really ugly aren't you!!"
I've been self conscious ever since....

I was a very sporty child and a swimmer so had quite muscular shoulders. The kids at school used to call me Gigantor (I was 5'8 from age 11) and Lesbo. It was horrid but I knew they were jealous, I competed at county level so was well known in my small town.
Also even though my DM is a lovely woman she's not very supportive. I've had You're not pretty enough to wear your hair like that and 6 months after giving birth and trying on my wedding dress in a full shop I had Well she still has a bit of a tummy but hopefully she'll loose it before the wedding.

I was called "witch" by one particular boy. I had long hair and was a serious student.....he had been held back a year and was pretty mouthy to make up for his lack of social skills. A teacher slapped him across the face (this was early 80's) for him swearing at teacher. Teacher was suspended. Last year I saw the former boy at supermarket check-out. I wanted to go up to him to tell him how his snide comments had affected me. I didn't though - I just stared at him and in my mind said all the things I so wanted to say.

School photo day. 1973, I’m 8 years old.

We line up and the teacher says

‘Maddiemoo, take your glasses off, you’ll look prettier’.

I did.

Three weeks later the photos are ready, mine is awful. I had a very bad turn in my eye and they were looking in two different directions.

My mum asked why I took my glasses off and I told her what the teacher said.

She went mad at that teacher.

My maths teacher at school telling me I would never be capable of going to University or amount to much. He was a nasty bastard.

I did go to University and had last laugh when I walked in the staff room at the start of a school year and coming face to face with him and he had the shock of his life. I took great pleasure in reminding him what he said and told him he talked a lot of bullshit as I did graduate. I wasn't a teacher at the school (was network manager) and from that day on whilst I worked there I could happily ignore the twat.

All of the nasty comments that I can remember have been made by ex boyfriends... and a few have even said things along the same lines which makes me wonder if they are true!

I’ve been told him a horrible vile woman numerous times, only good for sex, fat, ugly, I think I’m God’s gift when I’m nothing special...

My most recent ex who when we met absolutely adored me and would always big me up started saying I have big sticky out teeth, called me goof etc in arguments even though I’ve had braces and he always said I’ve got the best smile he’s ever seen!

I find things like that hard to cope with because someone has gone from telling you one thing to the opposite... it really does affect how you see yourself and wonder what they really think! He said it was because he knew I was self conscious of my teeth so he said it to hurt me,.. charmer!

He also said no one would put up with me and want to live their life with me, kept pointing out about my back fat and that I had “let myself go” after gaining 4lbs (even though I was still lighter than when I first met him a year ago!) being told you are a horrible person constantly really makes me question my character... I have issues yes but out and out horrible?!

It hurts so much when it comes from someone you love! My self esteem has taken a nose dive that’s for sure.

When I was about 12, a girl at youth group said to me "You look like Phoebe from 'Friends' only much uglier".

It played on my mind for years. Knowing her now, on social media, it must have come from a place of insecurity as she has had so much plastic surgery.

I was told I had fat legs, bulky knees and cankles by my sister as a teen and have never worn shorts or short skirts since.

Always been self conscious of my jaw and chin, a so called 'friend' commented on it and it simply validated my shitty feelings. I never wear my hair up for the dreadful sight of my face shape side-on.

Once at a house party when I was about 17, someone said in regard to something.. "I'd rather shag 'my name' " and everyone laughed after that I always thought what's so wrong with me? I've always had adequate male attention.

My ex was having an emotional affair perhaps physical with a work colleague and we were discussing him carrying her around being inappropriate and he said "funny how I can carry her and not you" then proceeded to tell me how much she weighed with a smirk on his face. Also told me I'd "have to have good genes to even be comparable to her, she's fucking stunning" that will stick with me forever!

I'm a size 8/10. Will never be body confident, every year I dream of wearing shorts or skirts but will probably never have the confidence unless I become a VS model overnight I have finally started trying to get help for my self esteem and body image.

When I was 13 I had a CB radio - I know - and I overheard a boy I liked asking a school friend of mine what I looked like .. she said " she's not ugly but she's not pretty either " that's stayed with me for 36 years ...

I was also told by a different ex my boobs were like sand in the bottom of a football sock when i leaned over. Randomly brought it up in conversation once, he was abusive and very nasty. But I was about 17 at the time, he was older and I remember feeling so vulnerable and crap about myself. They weren't that bad were quite nice and perky actually I have no hope now after breastfeeding, will always hate my boobs.

I've had different strange men laugh at me in the street/when I've been with a friend and say "not you, ugly!", have been barked at by men who then laughed hysterically (because apparently I'm dog ugly), been told in front of me "god your friend is a munter!". Every single time it stabs through to my heart and I remember every single moment of it.

Got told when I was 11 I was ugly because I wore glasses and a slut because I worse dresses and heels.

At 13 I got told by a friend someone had said I was trampy because I wore odd socks and I smelt. Mum refused to wash my blazer more than once a term said it didn’t need it and odd socks were all I could find (mum had sever mental heath issues by this point and we fended for ourselves mostly).

I’m 33 now and still don’t wear my glasses despite the deterioration of my eyesight (did briefly but got told i look better without them 👍🏼) and I very rarely wear feminine clothes as I think I look stupid. And I have a huge issue still with odd socks my husband chooses to wear odd socks as he can’t be bothered to pair his. Makes my teeth itch

My mum's friend said to me "my god, you're not as slim as your mum, are you?" when I was 14. From that day on I've had issues with my weight. 30 years later that comment is still in my head. I was a size 10 at the time and thought I was fat. Now I realise my mum is particularly small and slim, she's a size 6.

Gosh .. this is dredging up a lot of bad memories ... from the age of 5 I was told by my mum that if my grandparents hadn't agreed to move near us and bring me up so she could go back to work full time, I would have been aborted. This I was reminded about often. When I went to her when I had been sexually assaulted, she basically said it happens to everyone and to get over myself. I was 12.

Most memorable was someone was talking to me at a dinner party my parents were at for a business thing (my dads business), they said to me "you're very well spoken you must do well at school" to which I went to say thank you and that I was top set for most things (I was 14/15) and my step mother interjected with "no she's very average".

It damaged my self esteem for a long time and still makes me a bit sad. I couldn't imagine undermining and embarrassing my kid that way. I was so desperate for my parents approval as well so it was an even bigger blow.

Not nearly as bad as some of these but I distinctly remember being about 6 in the bath and having some argument with my mum about something and my mum saying "god what a silly little school girl you've turned out to be". I think it's my most vivid memory of my childhood and made me feel like I wasn't loved unconditionally, my parents were waiting to see if I'd turn out to be any good and I hadn't.

At 13 I was told my dad (who was older) should be dead by now. I'm 29 band my dad has died but thet comment still stays.

I was called ugly and told no one would like me. I still worry about people liking me and have become a people pleaser because of it!

I was a typical nerdy swot at school and most of my teachers were lovely. In hindsight I never got any attention at home from about the age of 11 (both parents worked quite late then generally went out socialising or to the gym, never had meals together etc) so I think I thrived on the positive attention I got at school for doing well. I'd revise obsessively for every test because I was obsessed that I'd be uncovered as a fraud. I remember one Biology lesson the whole class including me were chatting quietly while working (we were a very well behaved top set)and the teacher suddenly called out "Jameson, can you stop talking, you know no one thinks you're particularly clever or talented in any way". It was just really spiteful and came out of nowhere but really played on my insecurities - other people were pretty, funny, likeable being clever was my only positive quality and everyone realised I was faking it but revising so much.