Comments that stay with us

[whatacrapusername2306]

DD came home one day last week and said someone at school had called her ‘greasy hair’ She hasn’t btw, I am a hairdresser and wouldn’t allow her hair look a mess. She is still talking about this comment a week later. This has really flagged up some emotion in me from my school years. I remember every single nasty comment that was made to me. It can still bring me to tears when I think about it. Mostly comments on my appearance, size (I was small and thin) trampy clothes, squinty eye, nobody fancys you etc etc. It’s stupid I know, but has anyone else had a comment stay with them into adulthood?

I was horribly bullied all through school, I went to 12 schools by the time I was 14 (father kept changing jobs) and that even to this day scarred me emotionally.
But the absolute worst was my mum telling me when I was 15 that I ruined her life (she fell pg and ‘had to’ get married) and that she wishes she had aborted me. I’ve never ever forgiven her for that.

When I was around 7 some kid said I was the fattest girl in school after (name of girl who was actually overweight). I wasnt, I was tall for my age but through my doctors check ups i was always normal weight. Then on my 11th birthday i was sat cross legged and my dad laughed and said "you've got a spare tyre" (I was a few lbs off being underweight at this stage).
I'm 30 now and still have body issues. I'm 5"11 and a UK size 10 so logically I have no reason to be so body conscious but always wish i was thinner. I've never told anyone but I secretly feel gleeful if I dip into the underweight or near range (happened twice this year due to flu and months later a real bad chest and sinus infection). I also will restrict my eating if I go above a certain weight. I always wonder if my unhealthy relationship with food is linked to comments like those..

My mum used to call me a fat little bitch when she was mad. I was never a fat child or teenager, i had 2 stick thin sisters so was "chunkier" than them but i was never fat, sadly i didnt realise this until i was an adult and look back at pictures

Ive carried those fat little bitch comment with me for years. Im 28 now, 5'2, 7st 11 - 8st 3 and although i know im not fat i still feel fat

I remember my mum buying me some new jeans and telling me to breathe in so they fit, as an adult i wonder why she didnt just buy me the next size up instead of making me breathe in to make clothes fit

As it happens my mum isnt a slim jim herself

This is a sad thread
I’ve been told that I look like I have cancer once.

Swot, spod, cube. Hairy legs (from a boy). Shaved every day since.

It wasn't so much the words but how fickle girls were in their friendships.

Mom at 14: “ Oh my Emmmie, you are so ugly!” She now denies saying this. However, I still remember exactly where we were when she said this to me.

Also, kids used to tease me for having a father with alcohol induced psychosis. The same kids used to tease him too.

Right now, I am fit, successful, happy and very confident - your typical ugly ducking story. It took a very long time to feel this way though. Oh, and not surprisingly, I married a lovely man who loves and respects me, has never tried alcohol and has zero interest in starting.

I haven’t forgotten the vile comments though. They just don’t hurt anymore. They actually feel like a victory now!

for everyone.

My ex told me "Your just a slutty girl from .... (a fairly trashy town) who has fake tits and wears too much make up" 😯

My friend and I were in our twenties and sitting on a bus. I looked at her as the sunlight beamed through the window onto her face and said "X, you need to remove your moustache hair...bleaching it just means you have a blonde moustache...it's clearly visible"

We had and still DO have a very blunt type of relationship...we'll say if something looks odd or whatever but she looked so hurt!

I know it bothered her because a month later she brought it up! But she said she'd used Nair instead of bleach so at least she listened! And she DID have a really thick, bright blonde moustache. So there.

RiverTam

My mother phoned her sister and cousin who also had daughters getting O Level results to compare grades, then she said I'd done OK.

She never mentioned my A Level results.

“She’s not fat, she’s actually quite fit
If you squint, but she ain’t half got a tum.”
I was a size 6.

“She doesn’t look like the other kids in her family, isn’t it weird that she’s one only different one.”
...not adopted, just look like the double of my nan (red curls and freckles) while siblings/cousins all look like my grandads side of the family (poker straight thin hair blonde, blue eyes). But gave me issues for years and years.

“If you don’t lose the baby weight you’ll never forgive yourself and neither will he (twatty exp).” From evil exmil.
Again, size 6.

“Do you really think university is for you? Do you think you’ll be able to keep up?”
Err yeah and I’ll get a first class honours degree at that!

And my aunt:
“She’s just so nondescript, but I’m sure she will get prettier.”
We no longer speak.

I was around 14, chatting to a lad and he said 'if you were someone else, I'd kiss you now'

Utterly distraught. I really liked him.

I'd give my right arm to see him nowadays

As a newly wed of 10 months, my husband shouting at me during sex that I was just too fat. I was a size 14 and maybe could've lost weight, but the delivery and timing quite honestly broke my heart. We stayed together (and yes of course he has said other vile things, unsurprisingly) but I've never recovered and never really enjoyed sex since.

Some of these on here are heartbreaking.

I've just googled the loser who said that to me and guess what? Yup, still a loser

In high school one guy told me I looked like a man and anther guy told me I had manly legs.

Not really what you want to hear as a 15 year old girl

Those had a long lasting effect.

My PE report one year stated that I was "physically uncoordinated and was impossible to teach PE.". I walked approx 5 miles a day and took ballet clases adter school. It still makes me angry that a professional teacher wrote that.

I think this is one of the saddest threads I have ever read and proves the seriousness of bullying.

I don't remember anything from primary school except the insults I had thrown at me, the first one being "of course you're not attractive, you're a building with feet"

second one being a boy in my class running past me shouting "FATTY" as a dare from the other boys

my most recent ex called me a "fat piece of shit" because I didn't want to sleep with him anymore

It was only a month ago but I know I'll never forget it

I had too many things like this all to write in a post, but these are definitely reasons I have so many body issues now

My ex actually asked my parents permission before he proposed.

My mothers response was

"Why buy the cow when you've already got the milk for free?"

She did explain to me later that she wanted me to get married so that if I died before her she would not be liable to cover the costs of my funeral.

I was in my early 20s & in good health at the time.

@ BillHadersNewWife, I’m not sure you’ve grasped the concept of this thread.

@BillHadersNewWife

I think that you may have missed the point of this thread, it's not for boasting about nasty comments that you've made to other people....

@BillHadersNewWife you sound delightful not! So there!

I wanted a lovely daughter but instead I got you.

My mother screamed at me when I was about 13, that she wishes she had the abortion she was offered. She had post natal psychosis after I was born so I went to foster parents, I over heard her telling her friend that she hated me so much, she should have left me there!
My dad the other day, after I had told him the menu for Christmas Day “no wonder you’re fat”, and even though he was told by 3 other family members that I was really hurt by this comment ( he says it regularly), he wasn’t being horrible, just honest. He is fully aware of my self esteem issues, he knew the abuse I took from my mother, including being dragged from my bed at night when it was snowing and was locked in the garden in my pyjamas and only my screaming drawing attention got me back in. He denies knowing any of this but they were married right up until the day she died

@Colouringaddict please consider going no contact, you sound wrapped in FOG and you've no reason to be.