New friend is setting off alarm bells!

[HappyI]

Hi, ive know my new friend for sbout 6 months through our children and we've grown quite close. She is a Christian and I'm.not, but we both respect each other's views. Last week, she and her daughter came over for lunch and my girl was watching my little pony. Her daughter wanted to sit and watch it to however, she said she doesn't allow MLP because it has magic in it which is against her Christian views (mermaids too seemingly). I switched it to something she was comfortable with despite her saying because it's my house its ok to watch.
I've continued to think about this and believe its a very extreme view and I just dont get it as she allows her girl to watch frozen. My own daughter asked me why magic and MLP is bad and I'm.not happy that this friends, in my opinion, crazy views are seeping into my daughter's conscience.

Other stuff is coming to light too such as having ridiculously unrealistic goals and I'm wondering if she's a fantasist and if I should step back from our friendship. TIA x

Does she let her believe in Santa?

I have friends who I have huge differences with (my Conservative Republican American friend for example.) But it's because we have a solid friendship, and a shared history that we can agree to disagree. You aren't invested in your friend yet. I'm going to take a guess that in the end this friendship will drift, as you aren't compatible. I'm not sure I could get over these batshit views. She is being pushy with the holiday stuff. That would be a disaster!!

Ellyess - interesting post. If you are happy to say, I wondered what your experience was that made you religious?

When I was a teenager I attended a progressive baptist church and their teachings about magic (dabbling with the occult) have never left me (even though I no longer attend church). For example, I would never take part in a seance. However, I have no problem with magic in books, films etc. I try to lead my life in the spirit of Christianity, trying to be a good person. To the OP, I would say remain friends if there’s enough for you in the relationship (how you generally get on). A friend of my dc’s family are very evangelical (openly praying over their children when they fall over and offering to pray to clear my dc’s eczema, no Halloween costumes or books that feature magic etc). They are very kind and we get along well enough but not enough to be ‘good friends’; perhaps their religious leanings play a part but who knows. However, our dc are good friends and I would never stop that. I’d like my dc to make up their own mind about religion and be tolerant of other faiths. I had a good friend at primary who had very strict religious parents and I think both of us benefitted from our friendship by seeing each other’s way of life. By the sound of it, your dc isn’t that close to the other dc so perhaps let your friendship cool.

My mum's religious friends back in the 80s told her that she was subjecting me to Satanic influences by reading me Meg and Mog. Because Meg's a witch. So I recognise this.

They were part of some pretty hard core born again Christian sect, sounds like your friend is too. I think you either commit to ignoring it because you value the friendship and let it wash over you, or you distance yourself from these people. You'll never change their minds, nor is it your business to do so.

HappyI Sorry! don't know how - I missed the page where you spoke to the school about the boy who gets beaten and how he beat up your son - very sorry to hear that. apologies for not being fully informed.

Regarding your contacting the school - I wouldn't give up. Somebody has to intervene in this family. I have been a Teacher and a Psychologist. I have seen boys like this one, they get a bad name for being thugs and aggressive when they are only 5 or 6, but they are only acting out what happens to them at home. They pick on smaller children - so what? Their mother is bigger than them and she beats them up! They are angry, they often have a poor vocabulary and poor self-expression, so use their fists. It's the beginning of a pathway to delinquency, paved by unhappiness, social exclusion, being a drop-out, knowing you and your family aren't like all the other nice families, knowing you are intrinsically bad or evil because your mum knows you are and has told you so all your life. There's no hope for this child because he has no hope for himself. His mother thinks that to follow the school's ideas on good parenting will put her out of God's favour which is far worse. In a very short time everyone is calling both mother and son hopeless cases and blaming both for their horrible behaviour. Nobody will help any more. Yet here we have a young child, and a young mum both who do not know any better. Who will step in and save them? This is why they are swept up by this type of church of course.

Please do whatever you can. Get a group of mums together about it if you can. The child and his mum and most likely dad if he's around, need to have family therapy and support and it needs to go on for a while. It will save money in the long run, on court cases, Police investigations, keeping him in prison.... You can step in now and change this life for this child and his mother. If the school will not act then simply go to the Police. Whacking your child is illegal. If it is widespread knowledge that the church advocates this violence against small children then they are acting illegally and it's time the Police were informed. Stop it straight away! For God's sake, this is the UK! We do not believe children are born wicked and need to be beaten!! We believe they need to be loved! To be raised in security without fear. You could do something really worthwhile if only you could bring in the appropriate help so that this mother stops beating her son.

Just read first part of thread. Do some people not realise that being catholic means you are Christian? It’s the largest Christian church?? I think you mean your friends may follow Church of England etc not that they are different to you being Christian and your catholic?

Which posters are you referring to @sb74? I mentioned being Catholic and having Christian friends but mean “my Christian friends of all denominations not just Catholic”. I definitely know that I’m Christian.

... you’re

I'm completely shocked at this. I was raised in a Catholic family who sent me to a Catholic school. Had very Christian friends. Never heard of this issue with magic and fantasy. In fact, I am a fan of anything along those lines and so are my children now! I find it puzzling...
So those who demonise magic... What do they think of the separation of the sea in the Bible? The fish / bread / wine multiplication? The allegory of the wine/blood of Christ? The sanctification of water = blessing? The ghostly apparition of Jesus post-resurrection? Talking bush fire? Why is that not "magic"? Or Santa? Tooth fairy? Fairies in general?

As a curiosity, the Cathedral in Santiago de Compostela (Spain) has a mermaid on one of the doors! Tell her to explain that lol
MLP is about friendship, though. Is not "magic magic", it's not like they are witch ponies or unicorns! It's mainly about what they can do together as friends? The magic that there is, it's usually on good Vs evil terms

Firstbornunicorn

I recall hearing about that re the satanic link as a child and wondered if it was an urban myth! Bizarrely as an adult I came to hear about grown men who dress up as MLP characters in a fetish way and go to conventions or something? Lol I’m sure I haven’t made that up!

Might be yours. Just didn’t come across that way. Not a big deal.

I am Christian and I have heard another Christians say they believe MLP has demonic influences. My personal belief is that this is extreme and we had it on when my DD was little. We do believe that magic isn't good but common sense is needed!
Cartoons are cartoons. Contacting spirits for 'magic' is something very different. I would however respect anyone's views and it's a good opportunity to teach your child everyone's different.
I hope you are both able to stay friends and respect each other's views, however different they might seem

A very old friend of mine suddenly became a born again Christian - she blatantly told me that everyone, apart from born again Christians, were going to "hell" - according to her even my new born baby niece was born full of sin and unless she became born again, she too was destined for "hell" - I asked her what if a baby died before it grew up and never had the chance to become "born again" and she replied it would still go to "hell" - this was from someone who had previously been a hard drinker/smoker/swearer and was always sleeping around, the fact that she thought she could suddenly preach to me and that she was now somehow purer than anyone who was not "born again" made me realise we could no longer be friends. I am more than happy to respect and tolerate other religious beliefs but I would also expect other people to respect me. The same goes for the JW's - they are happy to condemn others who do not follow their religion yet I have never met such a bunch of bitchy, back-stabbing bullies in my life (my first husband's family were JW's and he was ostracised by them for marrying me and various other reasons - again they told him he was going to hell - as if they had the power to decide who was going to hell and who wasn't).

The magic theme aside, MLP is a very strange show. My DD used to watch it (she’s horse mad). At some point she started asking to watch it less chosing, instead to watch Mia and Me or Spirit Riding Free. It popped up on Netflix homepage one day and she asked for us to watch it together, she watched it and half way through said “this show is weird, it’s really weird”... DD is intuitive and observant almost to a degree of being vigilant? If that’s the right word. I assumed that perhaps DD was noticing the difference in dialogue between MLP and other childrens shows. I also thought it was a weird show so I didn’t mind her not being interested anymore and chucking out the MLP crap we had bought before. I told my brother about DD being done with the show because he was asking about buying her xmas presents, he said he was relieved she saw it was weird because he understood the show to be something partially aimed at grown men!! (Look up bronies) my bro even lived with a guy who was a bronie and said he was really creepy. I did some research into the show and one of the producers is a pedophile, a pedophile who when arrested had no remorse but stated that his pedophilia was helping him get through a divorce. There are lots of strange things about that show, who it is produced by and for what target audience... when you put two and two together it is enough to put a parent off. (I know this is not what the thread is about but as a parent of a former MLP fan thought I would share something others would want to be aware of)

Beccatheboo. Thanks!
Yes I don't mind saying but I'll be brief as it isn't the topic . In short: I had a Near Death Experience and Out of Body Experience. It was after the traumatic birth of my first baby daughter. I haemorrhaged and went out of my body, through my forehead. I saw myself on the delivery bed below and laughed because I looked longer than I had realised I was. Then a Being on my left took me through the air and darkness very fast towards the very bright white light, much brighter than anything on earth but not dazzling. As we got quite near it I was aware of many other beings mainly to my right and they were so excited and happy to greet me and, overwhelmingly for me, they all knew me! The light was wonderful and so loving and and I knew how much I was loved! It was just amazingly perfectly beautiful. No ordinary words can say. Then suddenly I was given the message - wordlessly - that 'now is not the time' and without a pause I was turned around and rushed very fast back the way I came down through the darkness and whooshed into my body through the hole in my forehead where I had left. Then I was in pain and it was noisy and the lights were hurting my eyes and the Doctor was shouting "stay with me" . I learned that he had revived my baby who was born apparently dead and the Midwife had given up for dead. That was why I had to come back. My life was very hard from then on because I was with an older man, my husband, who was very cruel. I had 3 daughters with him and could not get away - long story - and it was essential that I protected them from him.

I am very aware of how our childhood, starting from the very beginning, affects our whole life and the choices we make because of who we think we are and what we think of ourselves, which is largely to do with how we were treated by our parents- mainly our mother and our older siblings and sometimes younger relatives. Some experiences at school can help us or not, they can act against us if they are bad ones. I am so distressed about this Church and apparently others that are teaching mothers and fathers to beat their children, telling them they are born bad and so the parents will tell the children they are bad. This will create such distress and unhappiness in the children that their lives will be changed in the worst possible way. It must be stopped. Perhaps MumsNet can do something about this by raising the subject Nationally? Meanwhile start with this church and this little boy. Presumably the friend of OP also thinks her little girl is "bad"? if she follows what is said at the church?
We must do something.

Ellyess smacking your children isn’t illegal. So while you and I might find it abhorrent these churches aren’t necessarily doing anything illegal. Though I think some of it certainly goes beyond what is acceptable the law is too much or a grey area in this regard.
All of the children I know who are raised this way seem very happy and loved despite the harsh parenting.

My friend has a friend very similar, she is a fantasist and the values seem to waver on some things but not on others. I would step back my friend had to and it’s for the best,
She has other friends who are Christian and doesn’t have any of these problems

Ive come across these views before but this isnt real its a cartoon and is make believe.It isnt the same as something like Halloween.I knew people who only wanted their children to see and learn things that were factual but how does religion fit into that either ?

Callywalls. Sorry about your friend. Blatantly obvious she is wrong! Of course babies that die go to Heaven! They just go back to where they came from, just as we do when we die as adults. The Jehovah's Witnesses are very sincere but I do disagree with quite a few of their very ardently held ideas. I think they are very strongly brain-washed by their church and they are frightened to leave or disagree or do anything against the rules. The whole thing is bound together by strong characters who hold power and fear of God doing something terrible to you if you don't do what the JW rules say. They keep them going to meetings so often and trudging the streets all the time and make them scared to leave so it is almost like a Cult in that respect. Please do not let any of them upset you!

I quoted Jesus about children earlier, he said about them "of such is the kingdom of heaven" meaning by "of such" innocent and trusting! So I reckon Jesus knows! I'll take His word for it anyway, children go to heaven if their life here is short and they leave before adulthood!

Btw I had no idea there was/is a subtext to MLP! If there is, of course! I missed out on it, we just didn't like it. Didn't hate it either, just bored by it.

such Extreme religious views are extreme and dangerous not to mention deeply stupid. We don’t have to respect all views regardless of their impact. It’s this kind of extreme Christianity that is often restrictive, misogynistic and illiberal.

In many countries it is illegal. It’s legality doesn’t make it right or acceptable.

3WildOnes. Oh sshhtt. Sorry! Thank you!! I realise now. You are right. Glad you got in immediately after my spiel.

Surely what is happening to her child is cruelty though? And there must be a level of smacking/hitting that becomes violence against a child. I have seen some of it. I realise that a smack even that leaves a temporary stinging red mark doesn't get prosecuted, but too much beating especially frequent and if it alters behaviour and /or leaves more permanent marks becomes cruelty doesn't it?

I really do hope something can be done to stop this/these church(es) from spreading these lies that lead to parents terrorising their children. It is abominable.

3WildOnes.. P.S. Relief to hear that the children you know are happy. I do agree that children are happier where the boundaries are clear so long as good behaviour is rewarded and they know they are loved. I expect that most of the parents at these Churches love the children and area confident enough to take the teaching with a pinch of salt, but are strict none the less.

-area- = are

There's Christian and CHRISTIAN if you get my drift. We have had sermons on faith parallels and Harry Potter! something the shout out loud Christians would never accept. Don't close your mind to people who attend church but I'd be wary about someone so clingy that bans things as innocuous as My Little Pony! Some churches instruct their members to befriend the great unwashed - be aware.