To expect bf to want to sit next to me on a plane?

[thebings]

My boyfriend said that he wouldn't spend £100 for a seat next to me on an 8 hr plane journey. He said he'd rather spend that on something else we can do together.

He is very practical in this kind of way a lot but I'm starting to think he actually just doesn't care about me that much?

There are other factors as well making me think this - he never opens up emotionally to me and that's bothered me our whole relationship. He also isn't very interested in sex and we haven't had sex for nearly 2 months but he says it's not because of me. Hard not to worry though and it makes me feel crappy.

We have been together for nearly 2 years.

What would you make of this sort of comment? I asked my sister and she said that her bf would always want to sit next to her as it's part of the fun of travelling, especially for such a long flight.

Why is the seat another £100. Is it an upgrade? Why not sit together in economic he is worried about money?

I presume that is the fee to guarantee seats together?
I wouldn't pay it to sit next to another adult - I agree with your bf that the money could be better spent doing fun stuff on your holiday. Plus chances are the airline will seat you together anyway.

IME sitting together is not particularly fun during travelling - on an 8hr flight you'll surely basically sleep/plug yourself into the film anyway?

I'm with your DP on this, and I think my DP would probably agree too!

We love each other and love spending time together but secretly like our space and quiet time alone. I'm not sure we'd spend an extra £100 to sit together on a flight.

YANBU to disagree. Sounds like there are other issues in your relationship which probably need to sort though.

My boyfriend said that he wouldn't spend £100 for a seat next to me on an 8 hr plane journey. He said he'd rather spend that on something else we can do together.

I think he’s very sensible and is actually thinking ahead to more fun things to do rather than waste it on a seat. Unless you have high anxiety about flying, I think you’re being unfair here.

How exactly do you want to entertain each each other for 8 hours in a tin box anyway? Don’t most people sleep/read/watch a film?

For that kind of money I would be happy to be seated apart too. I always pay to sit next to the DC (one with SN) but I would never pay to sit next to DH. We aren't joined by the hip and are perfectly able to spend a flight not next to each other.

£100 is a lot of money to spend on a seat. I think I’m with your partner on this. It’s 8 hours, get yourself a nice book or film and enjoy some time to yourself. You’ll soon have plenty of time for each other when you get to your destination.

The £100 thing - I would be surprised if anyone else would spend that to sit next to another adult (unless it was a honeymoon or something)

The rest ... different story

you have posted about not wanting to sit next to you on a flight when your real concern is the fact that you haven't had sex for 2 months. not ideal in a relationship only 2 years in unless it suits both of you. stop discussing something as trivial as an airline seat with him and work on addressing the real elephant in the room.

I think YABU about sitting next to each other on the flight, especially if the charge is £100 which is quite a lot of money which could be used on a joint activity at your destination. You'll probably spend the time watching movies or reading a book or something so wouldn't be talking to each other anyway.
I'd be more concerned about he never opens up emotionally to me and that's bothered me our whole relationship. He also isn't very interested in sex and we haven't had sex for nearly 2 months but he says it's not because of me. Hard not to worry though and it makes me feel crappy. I think you need to address this more so than sitting next to each other on a flight.

My bf and I are attached at the hip, and neither of us would want to waste £100 on sitting together.

The other stuff is another story but the flight thing YABU

Daft to spend that much , DH and I couldn't get seats together on our(last minute) honeymoon flight... we survived. (that was 23 yrs ago )

I have 3 teens and have never paid to sit with them or DH - it’s not that important and hardly quality time on a busy aircraft - besides DH fidgets all the time!!

Work in the other areas first and stop worrying about trivial stuff

I'm on your side but I think it sounds as though you and he aren't really compatible.

And I think it's a pretty miserable start to a holiday, too!

You haven't been married for ten years then

I'd give £100 NOT to sit next to DH on a flight

I agree £100 is a lot, it's just the difference between a ticket without a checked bag and one with a checked bag (which also allows you to choose your seat).

@halfwitpicker hahaha

Also this is for a 2 week trip so I want a checked bag.

Unless you’re particularly anxious about flying then he’s being very sensible, £100 is a lot of money that could be spent on an excursion or something that you could do together.

It sounds like this isn’t the real issue though

It makes more sense to spend the £100 on something you can do together rather than just sitting next to each other on a plane. Have you flown together before? My OH tends to read his kindle or watch something the whole way to alieviate nerves a bit, so there would be little benefit in honesty of paying to sit next to each other! You both have opinions which are equally as valid, but unless you want to stump up the extra money then fair enough if he doesn’t want to.

You are all right, I suppose I'm focusing on something that feels more tangible as an example of him not being bothered about me because it's hard to pinpoint otherwise. I just don't get a feeling of much affection from him but it's hard for me to tell if I'm expecting too much.

Oh also for context, I probably should have mentioned this but we both have good jobs and can afford to spend the £100.

“he never opens up emotionally“

Lots of men aren’t all that deep emotionally are arent interested in it. Men are different from women. “Men should open up more” is a sexist micro aggression IMO.

I think often women have unrealtic expectations of men emotionally because of magazines, tv, movies and general culture. Most men just aren’t as into it.

Similarly men often have unrealistic expectations regarding sex, for a lot of the same reasons.

It’s all pretty complicated. Guess it’s hard to find the person who you can really click with. When it happens, it’s great.

I would not spend £100 on a seat. I'd rather spend the money doing something interesting at the destination. However, I travel lots, so I am used to not always sitting next to my preferred person

I wouldn't pay £100 to sit next to my husband as much as I love him, we would both rather spend the money on doing something while we on our holiday.

We booked a flight recently and it was only an extra £20 ish to sit together but I chose not to to save money! Lol so if it was £100 we would definitely not be sitting together