To expect bf to want to sit next to me on a plane?

[thebings]

My boyfriend said that he wouldn't spend £100 for a seat next to me on an 8 hr plane journey. He said he'd rather spend that on something else we can do together.

He is very practical in this kind of way a lot but I'm starting to think he actually just doesn't care about me that much?

There are other factors as well making me think this - he never opens up emotionally to me and that's bothered me our whole relationship. He also isn't very interested in sex and we haven't had sex for nearly 2 months but he says it's not because of me. Hard not to worry though and it makes me feel crappy.

We have been together for nearly 2 years.

What would you make of this sort of comment? I asked my sister and she said that her bf would always want to sit next to her as it's part of the fun of travelling, especially for such a long flight.

If you can’t cope with being alone on a journey for 8 hours, how will you cope being single?

NaturalBlondi, it isn't that the OP can't cope with being on her own. Her Partners reluctance to spend money they can afford, to sit next to each other, typifies the real issues in their relationship.

Bin him off OP you're too young to settle for this. The start of a relationship should be a romantic haze which serves to provide shared happy memories to look back on when things get tough further down the line. 2 years is too short a time to feel like this!

FWIW I would pay the £100 and so would DH. There's nothing loving or romantic about sitting separately. It's not a business trip fgs, you're not colleagues trying to save your employer money! You're young and in love and off on an adventure! It should be exciting and romantic and bring you closer as a couple.

Just dump him OP. It will hurt in the short term but within a few weeks you will be feeling so relieved believe me. Rip off the plaster and get on with your life.

@MulticolourMophead Thank you x

@NaturalBlondi Birdsgottafly has it right...I can definitely cope on my own haha. I travel a lot for work.

I would say the tittle should be Dp doesn’t want to spend £100 to sit by me .

We took a Ryan air flight last month and they purposely seat you apart so you pay for one of you to move even though the plane wasn’t full.
Just a money making scam so they can sell the seats cheap.

We also done Jamaica trip where we didn’t sit together but do you spend the money to move? Not me

Ryan air do it to families to so the kids are dotted all over the plane. So don’t think I’ll be using them again

You might not always have disposable income. I wouldn’t throw it away.

I think £100 is a lot for what is essentially a air coach seat even if you could afford it. I would save the money and spend it on a nice meal when you're in holiday and having an argument about this isn't an amazing start to the holiday.

You're incompatible. That's the actual issue.

As for him being too cheap to get a checked bag for two weeks and wanting to put stuff in your bag? Yeah, no.

On a short flight I wouldn't mind if I didn't sit next to my DH but on an 8 hour flight I would want to. I would pay the £100.

I can't sleep unless in a bed and might read for short periods but usually spend a flight talking with DH.

I'd actually expect my partner to pay the £100 to sit next to me. What's the point of travelling together to sit next to random people on an 8 hour flight. How would you share snacks? What if you wanted to use him as a pillow? Lol

Is he on a low income so that extra £100 makes a big difference?

I’d find it really off putting and needy if someone needed to waste 100 quid just to sit next to me. It’s a bit like school.
Bring a book, sleep etc

On our last 9 hour flight I chose seats together, in twos, when the doors closed we realised there was a spare row of 3 and I've never seen OH move as fast, it was a blissful flight. He did the same on the return flight too.

Can you split it £50 each?

We rarely sit in the same cabin! He would prefer to sit long haul economy and buy a new tv with the difference. I just want to fly without being sneezed on. We survive ok. We could afford to sit together but he sees it as a waste of money whereas I find flying stressful and was assaulted a few years ago so a private seat is my priority.
You sound a little needy.

DH and I would definitely pay £100 to sit together, whatever sum of money was necessary to be frank. For us, the flight is the beginning of the holiday, a chance to chat, have a few drinks and unwind. We both work long hours and spend a lot of time apart, so the thought of an 8hr flight sat next to some random when I could be sat next to my lovely DH I will grab, and I know he feels the same.

I'd be v concerned about him avoiding having sex with you. Don't live like that for too long, it will erode your self esteem.

This is definitely more than a seat on a plane, OP. Judging by your original post, he just doesn't sound that into you.

There's been several times where my DH has found a spare row of empty seats and gone and sat on those instead! It really doesn't bother me - I'm more than happy to listen to podcasts, read a book or watch a film. You'll be spending the entire holiday together - a few hours without him isn't going to be THAT bad surely?

YogaWannabe, not everyone can sleep when travelling. I never can. I don't mind reading but would not just want to read for 8 hours solid.

Me and DH like to chat on flights. Also, as another poster has said, if you want to share snacks it is much easier to sit together.

It's not needy. I don't need to sit next to DH but I want to. As I said, I wouldn't mind too much on a short flight (I think we have sat apart once) but on an 8 hour flight I don't want to be next to a stranger.

I'd actually expect my partner to pay the £100 to sit next to me

If my partner was so needy and demanding I would expect them to pay the £100 for my company!

Dp checked us in a few days ago and text me to ask if he should pay for us to sit together. My first question was ‘how much will it cost?’ Anything over £20 each and I would have said no. As it was it was £10 each- bargin! On our last flight we were separated and the gentlemen next to me offered to swop with dp so we could sit together, but I said it was fine thank you, I had his company 24/7 for the next week, so I was making the most of my last bit of free time! But seriously it doesn’t matter too much to us, but it’s important to others.

However I think there is more to this than plane seats. Some people can manage in a relationship when two people have different sex drives, others can’t. I’m highly sexed and like sex 5/6 times a week. Luckily dp is the same. We still respect it when the other is too tired, unwell etc. But on the whole it’s almost daily or twice day (we don’t see each other every day).

But only you can decide if you can stay in a relationship like this. Is love enough for you? I know if I was in your position love would not be enough for me.

@ApolloTenne It's not so much about not being able to spend 8 hours on a plane apart, although I agree with the pp that it would be nice to sit together and chat and just generally be with him rather than strangers.

It's more the fact that our general lack of intimacy makes small things like this feel more sensitive to me, like another example of him not being too fussed about being around me or not.

Also, the flight over there is not a night flight so I don't think either of us will sleep.

The flight over is not a night flight so probably won't sleep

And just to clarify, the 100 is not a charge to choose a seat. it's the difference between a ticket with or without hold luggage. It's a 2 week trip so most people would bring a checked bag and I will be especially as there are a few social events we'll be going to so I won't just be dressing casually every day...