Social services..

[CandyCreeper]

Posted recently about my sons school referring me to SS. I had a phone call this evening at 6pm on my landline from what appears to be the LA phone number. Im taking it its social services? (not expecting anything else) but aibu in thinking it is an odd time to call? I missed it as have been in bed with flu this also means my house isnt at its best because im ill, can/will they turned up unannounced??

It goes like this - allegation - strategy meeting - decisions about calling a cp conference - section 47 investigation - single assessment - outcome is either nfa, ehat, cin, or the cp conference which determines if the child is at risk of significant harm.

Not always Camhs. Regular psychologists do court assessments for us. Therapists not so much.

Ss contact your gp prior to cp conferences. There has to be risk of significant harm to involve agencies sharing information

I would phone a solicitor....get proper legal advice.

@Aridane that was pretty much my reaction too! But the concern was raised and so SS had to come and check that all was well, I think the nurse raised it as a potential neglect concern but later it was omitted from records, I don’t think the nurse was wrong to raise what she felt was a genuine concern - but I was there day in and day out so I just wished she’d spoken to me first

It obviously varies from authority to authority.

We only have CAMHS and after the 24 hour desicion by the MASH cases like the ops will normally go to Early Intervention Team to be assessed, so a Family Worker not a SW.

I know people say they are a great support but they also carry a massive stigma, I know im not a bad mum, I do my very best and am dedicated to my children. Im not abusive or neglectful and want them gone as soon as possible. No one wants the threat of unannounced visits or people looking through their house, its intrusive, especially when you know youve done nothing wrong. I havent been to the GP so nothing will show up, Im just not going to volunteer unnecessary information. They are coming to speak about the lies my son made, nothing else.

Thanks for the comments anyway will call them tomorrow.

Why do you think your son lied? Could someone else have hurt him?
Is he ok?

You will feel better once you have spoken to them. Apprehension adds to the worry.

OP an allegation has made and reported. They have to investigate that allegation regardless of whether it’s true or not.

At this stage you do not have to disclose your medical history and probably won’t be asked to.

Its the same as a PP if I bump into him etc he says Ive hit him or kicked him. He has explained the times
Ive “hit” and “kicked” him and they are simply not as he is saying. He was talking quite loud at the bus stop and his brother sort of bashed him with his hand and he told me “mummy x beat me” now go to school and say mummy “beat” me (not that I bash him but he using terms that arent the reality of what has happened) and thats a CP case. From google its really not that uncommon, but obviously taken very seriously. He doesnt go anywhere other than school. Him and his brother are forever fighting 🙄

Please can posters with a bit of information stop giving wrong information on areas they don't understand, it's not helpful to the op even if it's well intentioned.

Social services cannot access medical records. What they can do is ask health services if there is any relevant information that health have re safeguarding the child. Theres a huge difference between those two things.

Not all referrals result in a strategy meeting, a minority do. A smaller minority then result in a s47 (suspected child abuse) enquiry. From that, cases can go to CP conference. There is nothing about what the Op has said that suggests those processes are relevant.

There is no such thing as an initial or core assessment now, that's out of date. An assessment will generally be referred to as a child in need assessment, caf triangle assessment, or a child and family assessment or a single assessment. It just means they're finding out information and agreeing a plan. A child in need plan can be 'assessnent complete, no extra support needed, pass back to universal services'. CIN is a bit of a catch all as it covers many areas in social work, is voluntary and is not child protection. It's not something you 'escalate to' as it's no indication of threat or risk (for example, many children with disabilities have CIN assessments and plans in relation to their disability)

Op I really hope it goes well. I think some posters are being a bit harsh - it's easy to say 'nothing to hide nothing to do fear' if you've not experienced it, I hope the posters who have had some positive or sympathetic SWs has reassured you a little.

Hi I think having an adult witness a social s meeting is a good move.

My son lied about my husband hitting him.
I was called into nursery and there was a glass door and so my son could see me and they explained the situation and asked if I was abused.

But my son couldn't understand why I wasn't coming straight to him so he got very upset about that in my opinion but the staff thought he was upset because of what my OP had supposedly done to him.

Eventually they dropped everything after questioning me and because apparently my son also said he was hit by a Male carewoker at the nursery and the nursery were adamant that had not happened.

I found the whole thing strange as it was like my son saying he had been hit by another man proved that he was not in danger -but as far as I am aware the key worker was never investigated (but maybe the key worker was investigated).

OP I would make sure your house is as clean as can be.

I would not volunteer any more than you are comfortable.

Good luck

Thank you to the recent posters who have been more understanding.

Its not surprising people are fearful of SS if they are told that they can access their medical records, so im glad its been cleared up that they cant. I havent been to the GP as day to day I manage just fine and dont want to take medication.

But you suffer from anxiety and depression. And you’re not having it treated? That’s not going to be a positive from SS’s point of view...

They can with your consent, like I said I’m talking from experience, They ask for permission to talk about you with other people basically but they’ll only mention people you’re not worried about, but the consent actually does include GP’s. It looks dodgy if you say no hence why 99% of people sign it (or if you’re like me and struggle saying no)

As I said I will speak about the allegations my son made and clear it up. You cant report every parent to SS who suffers from anxiety.

Plenty of people manage fine without medication for Anxiety @bejamnostalgia, I was prescribed a few different medications to try and help reduce my attacks, but they didn’t help. Not one solution works for all. Since I stopped medication (with GP’s involvement) I started discovering what methods to use to help myself when I felt an attack was imminent. Thirteen years hence I still suffer the odd spate of attacks, especially when under extreme emotional duress, but on the whole I am much better.

SS had reason to ask me about my Anxiety issues due to our being fresh out of NICU and once I stopped acting defensive and explained how I managed myself without meds, they were more than happy with my decision. Stop trying to scare the poor OP...

1 in 4 people have a mental health issue, that includes social workers. Having a mental health issue does not mean you will be judged a poor parent. A simple couple of sentences, I experience x and manage it by doing y are all that is required.

poster I didn’t say they can access medical records. I said OP does not have to disclose her medical history to SW during visit. I also said they can get medical ‘info’ without consent (made it clear I wasn’t suggesting this is what would happen in OPs case, just in reply to another poster!)

I have a ‘core assessment’ in front of me! detailing why case was ‘escalated’ and ‘progressed’ from CAF, to initial, to core, then signed off from CP to CIN.

Anyhow my reply was in to relation to another poster, not the OP. I can see how this derail might be unhelpful to the OP

No, and I have one myself. But the OP is anxious about how SS are going to judge her. Plenty of people have MH issues and are perfectly good parents. But most people don’t have children telling SS that they hit them. It looks from the OPs post like this is the second time he has made an allegation like this, he did in November too. If you put all that together, along with a parent who suffers MH issues but is receiving no treatment at all and isn’t even trying to (OP says she hasn’t discussed it with her GP), then yes, they might well be worried. The OP was asking about what they would think or do, and I think it’s fair to point out that with two allegations of quite extreme violence, an untreated MH condition is going to be a cause for concern.

SS could also get a court order to obtain OPs medical records without her consent too. I don’t know whether two allegations of violence would be enough to trigger that process, I suspect it might, especially if OP is also having issues keeping on top of the housework.

SS would far prefer a parent with MH issues who is accessing help, taking medicine or talkOMG therapies or using techniques like CBT, to one who is not even discussing problems with their GP. If OP is worried these issues might be referred to by the children or come out through checks, she’d be better off getting help rather than sticking her head in the sand.

It’s not so much the MH issue that would cause the worry as it is the non-engagement with help.

I think there are lots of people giving correct info relevant to their authority.

We haven’t used a CAF for years.

I suggest the op goes onto her LA Children’s Services website which should explain the process.

Or just call them today and be open and honest 👍🏻

I posted on the op’s previous threads. She replied to one question that everyone she knows smacks their children. It is completely possible that her 4 year old has witnessed this and has come to the conclusion that his mother hits him. Even though she doesn’t.

Sorry what are you talking about?? this isnt the second time?? When in november, I have no idea what your talking about, he says this stuff all the time (his sister punched him in the face the other day apparently) but this is the absoutely first time he has said anything to anyone other than family, for example when I “hurt him” when I pulled him off his brother as they were physically fighting and wouldnt stop, he told me he was going to tell aunty I hurt him, he did and I told her the story and we laughed because we knew it didnt happen how he said. This isnt the second time he has told the teachers??

Some social workers are arseholes. I know that for a fact as one of my friends was a social worker. She was a lovely person, but she worked with other social workers who made her life miserable, they were bullies and she'd go home crying every night. Like every profession that there are good ones and bad ones. What happens if you get a bad one?

Some people who are very protected, either by money, profession or connections can't always empathise well with people who are a lot more vulnerable than them. Single parents can feel especially vulnerable and social services can seem like a very real threat. Nobody is a perfect parent, we all make mistakes and live with a bit of mess when children are young. A lot of people beat themselves up for that. Most of us are just doing the best we can.

OP, I really hope you get well soon and get enough sleep and manage to stop worrying so much. I hope you get a good, sympathetic social worker, who offers you help if you need it and leaves you alone if you don't. That is what social workers are supposed to do. Try not to take it personally, most of them are just doing their job.