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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What are men afraid of which might live in a hand bag

156 replies

mansneverhot · 23/01/2019 17:20

I've noticed that the men in my life, past and present, have been consistently frightened of the contents of a handbag. They act with a level of fear I have never seen applied to e.g. a drawer or coat pocket when tasked with retrieving an item, and prefer to bring the entire sodding bag rather than take a quick look inside it for the required item. Most seem to cite "privacy" as the reason for this irrational behaviour but I notice they do not treat their own bags or those of other men as such private and sacred safe spaces.

My current theories are as follows:

  • They can't be bothered to actually look, this is a carefully crafted technique to transfer responsibility of producing the coveted item to the handbag-owner
  • They believe that special female secrets are hidden in handbags, something which might spoil the mystique of femininity for them. Perhaps a magical device containing alluring pheremones, a mind reading device which is how we can tell the difference between a real poo and a facebook toilet break, or some kind of alien technology which could burn their eyeballs on sight.
  • Tampons?? Are they afraid of tampons?? How could they be afraid of a new tampon - unless they are also afraid of mice. However, no amount of assurance that I do NOT KEEP DIRTY TAMPONS in my bag has managed to soothe a man into acting like a normal person looking in a fucking handbag instead of an awkward husk who can't make direct eye contact with the bag's innards.
  • Something else? Perhaps they're afraid to find a sex toy - a 12" dildo which makes them look like a withered pickle, an emotional trauma they may never recover from?

Any other theories?

OP posts:
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 23/01/2019 17:21

Its good manners I thought

Dontsweatthelittlestuff · 23/01/2019 17:22

I am a woman and would never go through another woman’s handbag even if told to retrieve something.

PristineCondition · 23/01/2019 17:23

Dp doesn’t go through mine because it’s seen as a private thing/space, like a wallet or diary or whatever. My children don’t either

Aprilshowersarecomingsoon · 23/01/2019 17:23

Maybe a note book with ratings of themselves in?
Hoovering 1/10
Wasbing up 2/10
Windows 5/10
Knowledge of the clitoris 0/10

Yousignup · 23/01/2019 17:23

I have taught my children (boy and girl) that you NEVER open a handbag unless it's yours. Good manners, and you never know what is in there.

PristineCondition · 23/01/2019 17:23

Me either Dontsweatthelittlestuff
Id bring it to them but wouldn’t go in it

NewGrandad · 23/01/2019 17:23

last time I went into one of my wife's many handbags I was missing for 3 days and a search party had to be sent in to save me.

NEVER AGAIN!!!!!

GrinGrinGrinGrinGrinGrin

Knittink · 23/01/2019 17:23

I suspect your third theory is correct. Many men seem to be embarrassed and discombobulated by the whole idea of menstruation.

DustyMaiden · 23/01/2019 17:24

One does not delve into a ladies handbag, it is not the fine thing.

DustyMaiden · 23/01/2019 17:24

Done

Fatasfook · 23/01/2019 17:24

Afraid of being told off! I go mad if someone goes in my bag

Watto1 · 23/01/2019 17:25

If dh ever has to hold my handbag for even a millisecond, he handles it as though it were radioactive .

MrsJayy · 23/01/2019 17:25

I wouldn't go through anybodies bag it is personal Dh wouldn't go in mine he would hand me it over rather than look through it.

halfwitpicker · 23/01/2019 17:26

Hilarious

Mary Poppins knew her shit that girl

PurpleWithRed · 23/01/2019 17:26

DH claims it's good manners but I know he is secretly terrified of finding tampons or even worse, any kind of PAD. And yes, he knows that if he did they would be unused, makes no difference. LADYTHINGS. I don't think he even knows there is such a thing as a moon cup and I'm not going to tell him, I need to think about his mental health.

CreakyBlinder · 23/01/2019 17:26

God yes, it annoys me! If I say to DH to find my purse, I don't want him to bring me my bag so I can search for the thing myself.

In public I suspect it's more of a 'if I carry a bag I will look feminine' type of nonsense.

Loopytiles · 23/01/2019 17:26

In general people don’t go into others’ bags, even shopping bags. Why would you need others to retrieve something from your bag anyway?

rightreckoner · 23/01/2019 17:27

It turns them gay. That’s why a handbag is a manspreading repeller. Touch a rogue knee on the tube with an inch of handbag and they cannot move away quick enough.

JamAtkins · 23/01/2019 17:28

Manners? Upbringing? You don’t go in peoples bags. It’s rude

ISdads · 23/01/2019 17:29

Manners

Who the fuck goes through a woman's bag? It's like rummaging in her vagina without asking Shock

MothertotheLordsofmisrule · 23/01/2019 17:30

Noooo!!!

Don’t let them look in your bag, cause then they will realise how much space there is and demand you carry stuff.

I’ve got away with ‘There’s no space for your random secondhand book in my bag’ for years.

YourFly · 23/01/2019 17:31

Tampax

Just Tampax

Even the word.

DitheringBlidiot · 23/01/2019 17:31

It’s good manners, you never go in someone’s handbag. Unless they expressly say it, even then most people would prefer to just bring the whole thing

halfwitpicker · 23/01/2019 17:32

Who the fuck goes through a woman's bag? It's like rummaging in her vagina without asking shock

^

I gather you're being facetious again, isdads?

PlayingForKittens · 23/01/2019 17:34

Dh never goes in my bag. It really annoys me. It isn't that he is afraid of anything, he has no problem handling pads. mooncups etc. But he was brought up not to go in bags and he just won't. Obviously I am very appreciative of his respectful attitude towards privacy but I can be comfy on the sofa and he'll ask if I have a £1 coin for his parking or something and even if I tell him to get my purse and see he won't and I'll have to get up and look myself. Weird.