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What are men afraid of which might live in a hand bag

156 replies

mansneverhot · 23/01/2019 17:20

I've noticed that the men in my life, past and present, have been consistently frightened of the contents of a handbag. They act with a level of fear I have never seen applied to e.g. a drawer or coat pocket when tasked with retrieving an item, and prefer to bring the entire sodding bag rather than take a quick look inside it for the required item. Most seem to cite "privacy" as the reason for this irrational behaviour but I notice they do not treat their own bags or those of other men as such private and sacred safe spaces.

My current theories are as follows:

  • They can't be bothered to actually look, this is a carefully crafted technique to transfer responsibility of producing the coveted item to the handbag-owner
  • They believe that special female secrets are hidden in handbags, something which might spoil the mystique of femininity for them. Perhaps a magical device containing alluring pheremones, a mind reading device which is how we can tell the difference between a real poo and a facebook toilet break, or some kind of alien technology which could burn their eyeballs on sight.
  • Tampons?? Are they afraid of tampons?? How could they be afraid of a new tampon - unless they are also afraid of mice. However, no amount of assurance that I do NOT KEEP DIRTY TAMPONS in my bag has managed to soothe a man into acting like a normal person looking in a fucking handbag instead of an awkward husk who can't make direct eye contact with the bag's innards.
  • Something else? Perhaps they're afraid to find a sex toy - a 12" dildo which makes them look like a withered pickle, an emotional trauma they may never recover from?

Any other theories?

OP posts:
WonderTweek · 23/01/2019 18:07

I was also brought up to never touch other people's bags (or mobile phones), so I never ever look inside anyone's bag. I also go livid if anyone touches my bag even though I have nothing to hide. I suppose it's just a privacy thing and good manners.

chemenger · 23/01/2019 18:09

Given that I can never find things in my own bag, because of the ever multiplying breeding colony of crumpled up receipts, I think there is no hope of DH, who is notorious for being to unable to find anything anywhere, doing so.

CreakyBlinder · 23/01/2019 18:10

What's so precious about a bag exactly?? My husband rummages around in my vagina plenty, I'm pretty comfortable with him pulling my wallet out of my bag Confused

NewName8674 · 23/01/2019 18:10

I've noticed this too. I've come to the conclusion that they are terrified of finding anything to do with menstruation.
I really don't give two hoots about menstrual products, be they tampons in the bathroom bin, moon cups in the dishwasher or something I need to buy for my partner in a shop. I was just taught that it was bad manners to go through someone's handbag (and it seems that a lot of PPs were similarly taught).

EarthboundMisfit · 23/01/2019 18:37

It's definitely tampons.

Alex3101 · 23/01/2019 19:10

I've noticed this too. I've come to the conclusion that they are terrified of finding anything to do with menstruation.
Fliberty giberts, I will buy them for my DW, fetch a pad from the bathroom, clean the mooncup. That is a total irrelevance.
If asked to fetch her purse I will stick my hand in a grab it, but it's just not a polite thing to do. As many people have said that's the way we were bought up.
I regularly carry my DW bag as well if she is carrying DS in the wrap/sling

steff13 · 23/01/2019 19:16

It's not fear, it's respect. A handbag is private.

WhyDontYouComeOnOver · 23/01/2019 19:31

If I ask my husband to get me something from my bag, he gets me the thing from my bag, because he's normal.

How odd that people are so precious over a bag. It's just a bag - what on earth do you keep in them that no one can see? Confused

Also, I don't think I've bought a sanitary product in at least ten years. DH buys them, takes them out of their outer packet and puts them in my drawer in order of size and flow. Most men aren't afraid of menstruation and if they are, I wouldn't be in a relationship one.

WhyDontYouComeOnOver · 23/01/2019 19:31

With one *

Piewife · 23/01/2019 19:34

Haha I always wonder why my DH seems to be afraid of looking in my handbag! I'll ask him to grab my purse (for example when I'm about to order something online and he's getting up) and he comes back with the whole bag. He just says he doesn't know how to find it?!! It's like he's scared to open it.

MrsTommyBanks · 23/01/2019 19:39

I was always told that it is beyond rude to go into anyone's handbag.
My Mum and Nan would have been furious if I got something out instead of bringing their handbags to them.
I am the same.

NewGrandad · 23/01/2019 20:01

To add to my previous (light-hearted) answer I'm quite happy to go into "One of the Many" if asked because

A. I've happily bought sanitary products for my wife
B. If she can't find something it's usually there and … well it's usually there.
C. I'm wearing a safety rope.

Claw001 · 23/01/2019 20:19

It starts young Grin my ds (14) always brings me the whole bag, instead of my purse from inside the bag, which I ask for!

TSSDNCOP · 23/01/2019 20:26

Because if anyone went down my bag I would kill them dead.

I don’t need to say that out loud. It is implicit from my stern demeanour.

gingercat02 · 23/01/2019 20:31

They possibly grew up with a mum like mine who always said "bring me my bag" not "Get my purse/tissues/etc from my bag" no one ever went in her handbag on pain of death. I personally don't give a shit. I have no secrets

VanGoghsDog · 23/01/2019 20:35

When I lived with my now-ex and his son, my handbag was the only, ONLY, place I had that was my own. I could be 100% sure neither of them would go in it - the same could not be said of the bedroom, any cupboards, my bedside drawer.....anywhere else.

So, I don't care what they are scared of, I'm entitled to a bit of bloody privacy even if it is only a couple of debit cards and a lip balm.

Luckingfovely · 23/01/2019 20:35

Handbag snakes. Or possibly small crocodiles. Or bag-piranhas.

Judging by most reactions.

Dear well-bought-up men Grin

blackteasplease · 23/01/2019 20:36

I thought it was just something you didn't do because it's an invasion of privacy / rude.

blackteasplease · 23/01/2019 20:37

I wouldn't even look in my Mum's handbag without express permission.

doxxed · 23/01/2019 20:38

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for privacy reasons.

Beeziekn33ze · 23/01/2019 20:38

I asked GS to get my purse (so that I could give him some money!) from my smallish bag, he opened it, looked appalled and quickly gave me the bag. I think it was the layer of crumpled tissues over everything else which made him wince and not look further!

SabineUndine · 23/01/2019 20:39

Mousetraps.

glamorousgrandmother · 23/01/2019 20:41

Manners? Upbringing? You don’t go in peoples bags. It’s rude
This.

It's just about privacy. I haven't had a period for 18 years so no tampons but my husband wouldn't go through my handbag. I wouldn't rummage in his pockets.

StickItUpYaJumpa · 23/01/2019 20:44

It's good manners.

SweetAngie · 23/01/2019 20:44

Oh. This is one of those rules that I missed somehow.

Why is it rude to go into someone’s bag? A stranger’s or a colleague’s or something I could kind of understand, but if DH needs something and it’s in my bag, I tell him where it is and he goes to get it, ditto for the dc.

What are you all hiding in your bags?

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