Smear test and tights AIBU?

[Andromeida59]

This is not a wind up and I don't want the Daily Dial even fucking with this. Long time poster.

So, I have my smear test tomorrow. It's overdue because the last nurse did a really bad job (heavy bleeding for days). I hate getting really uncovered. Would I be U if I wore split crotch tights? My thinking is at least part of me would be covered and I wouldn't feel quite as bad.
AIBU? I don't know if this is just weird. Please be kind. Definitely not a bloke.

It would be weird.

Off to google what ‘split crotch tights’ are...

I agree, weird. You'd draw more attention to yourself wearing them than not!

I’ve never heard of split crotch tights?

Anyway, it is a bit strange, but, if that’s what you feel comfortable in...

split crotch tights sounds revolting. Do you own any? Wouldn't you need to wear split crotch pants as well (and hope your splits were aligned?) Or do gels these days go pantless with their split crotch hosiery?

Perhaps hold-ups or stockings?

Good luck with your smear. They are horrid.

Definitely weird. Maybe hold-ups?

Assuming this isn't a wind up then what about your knickers? You'd have to remove the tights to take them off which kind of defeats the object?
(please don't tell us you're planning to wear crotchless knickers too 🙈)

Erm, as a non-medical person just trying to imagining myself as the nurse being confronted with that, I would think that you were being a bit weird/kinky!

I'm so sorry you had such a terrible experience last time.

I've had bad experiences in the past and what I have found really helpful is telling the nurse I have had issues in the past that have left me fearful and that I find it incredibly hard to come in for smears. I tell the nurse that I find it helpful if they talk me through everything they are doing and help me feel like I'm in control and can ask them to stop any time I need to.

The sense of it being something you and the nurse are getting done together in collaboration is quite powerfully protective for me...and I think it could be more protective than tights.

You could wear suspenders

I think maybe OP IS being a bit kinky actually, with all of us. Urgh.

This is honestly not a wind up. I'm just really nervous because of my last one and over thinking it.
I went to the doctors last week and managed to get a quick appointment. I think they're prioritising smears because of the #smearforsmear campaign.
Not trying to seem weird just nervous.

I always wore a maxi dress / skirt for smear tests - not having to take it off and just pull it up made me feel more comfortable.

Just make use of the paper towel. My last one was about 3mins from walking in to walking out. I was surprised at how quick it was.

I believe you OP - please ignore those not getting it. A lot of people find it very difficult to get a smear, you are not alone and as per my previous post I think strong communication with the nurse is a must. You can always walk back out again if the nurse is not inspiring trust.

If you go wearing a long, loose skirt, you won't need to remove it for the smear test so that might help you feel a bit more covered up. Lots of women do this so it won't seem at all strange to the nurse.

I hope it goes well for you. The equipment used has been much improved over the past few years, so the whole procedure is quicker, easier and more comfortable than it used to be.

Ok, then in that case you just need to explain to the nurse before you even get on the examining couch/whatever its name is.

Can you not ask if it’s ok to wear a loose skirt is dress which you can keep on and just move up, and also ask for a sheet to cover your thighs with while you lie there? She would still be able to see, you just wouldn’t be able to see what she was doing ?

Thank you @M3lon. I'm not trying to be kinky with anyone. I'm genuinely scared about tomorrow.

The tights are new. I bought them from LoveHoney. They've never been used. I was misdiagnosed with gyny issues for year so had loads of horrible invasive scans when I actually had a slipped disc. Look up my previous comments or report me if you want. I'm genuine not some bloke trying to get his jollies from talking about smear tests.

I think the nurse/practitioner will find that much more odd, and note-worthy in a memorable way, than just the normal pair of knickers off.

Wear a long skirt if you have one, and then you will have material to bunch up around you a bit.

Agree with the previous posters ^^ - a dress can make you feel more comfortable - also the paper towel they provide to cover yourself too.
Well done for going to the test. Not nice but very well worth it. Good luck.

I am sure I wore a long tunic type top or dress to my last smear test, which made me feel better.

Agree with pp, crotchless tights would be weird. Also would you go commando or wear crotchless knickers too!?

Well done on going back after last time. Normally the worst thing you'd have after a smear would be some slight spotting, so it must have been very traumatic to have been bleeding heavily for days afterwards. Poor you. You should chat to the nurse about your fears. As others have said, wear a long skirt to the appointment. The tights would be very weird.

I'm a nurse, and feel a bit embarrassed going for my smears...even though I know that the nurse is probably not paying any attention to my lady garden and not going to remember what I look like as soon as I walk out the door, because I can't!

As long as they can reach what they need to reach, they won't bat an eyelid. If you feel more comfortable wearing crotchless tights then go for it.

My last smear lasted about 2 minutes and wasn't painful, hope yours goes okay!