Smear test and tights AIBU?

[Andromeida59]

This is not a wind up and I don't want the Daily Dial even fucking with this. Long time poster.

So, I have my smear test tomorrow. It's overdue because the last nurse did a really bad job (heavy bleeding for days). I hate getting really uncovered. Would I be U if I wore split crotch tights? My thinking is at least part of me would be covered and I wouldn't feel quite as bad.
AIBU? I don't know if this is just weird. Please be kind. Definitely not a bloke.

Agree with others, wear a long dress or full skirt which you only have to pull up. In this weather you could wear leggins under a dress and just slip them off and then pull your dress up while you are lying down, it does make you feel less on show and vulnerable.

I’m impressed you managed to get one so quickly. My GP surgery give appts 6 weeks after ringing and I struggle as my periods are irregular (just had one today after 8 weeks) so can’t predict.

I think you were really unlucky to have a bad smear experience. I too have had lots of internal scans and I found my recent smear test very quick in comparison and done by a female nurse (scans all being done by male doctors) who let me get sorted behind the curtain and let her know when I was ready. As soon as she was done she immediately pulled the curtain again and left me to get dressed rather than have me put my knickers back on in front of her whilst also having to take in information etc... much easier experience than all the scans.

Nice calm, deep breathing really helps.

I know it’s not the point of the AIBU but the whole concept of split crotch tights is so hilarious to me. Nothing is going to make tights sexy, not least an easy-access gusset.

I’m so sorry you had such a bad experience before OP, that must make it so much harder. I agree with PP’s though that crotchless tights are likely to be more eyebrow-raising than anything. I also think you would probably just be asked to take them off.

Let the nurse know you had a bad experience before and are uncomfortable - she will be able to reassure you

I wear a shortish dress/long top with leggings and easy to slip on/off shoes to all gynae appointments. Feel a lot less exposed on the bed and can get undressed/dressed in seconds.

I think you’d be better working on your anxiety,

Not being funny, but if you are going to TTC and if/when hopefully you get pregnant there will be much more of this to come.

I'm not sure one glass of wine would have a huge impact on how much you bled, unless you're likely to really hemorrhage it might be worth it to help you relax a bit. I have terrible anxiety and would definitely go for the wine. Best of luck, distract yourself as best you can today.

Your opening line suggests you are infact on a wind up tbh

I too was a flop your legs and all done kinda gal until I was post-menopause. Having a speculum shoved in a dry vagina is no fun let me tell you. 😱

I'm a nurse, I couldn't care less what you wear! I'd just be glad you turned up

I took a large scarf with me to my last one and covered myself up with that... I didn't feel as exposed...
and to be fair! If I had to perform a smear on somebody with crotchless tights I'd probably have heart failure! 😜

How about a big long black skirt that you can toss over the nurse's head like a Victorian photographer.

Would you feel better wearing a full skirt?

The nurses who do these tests, do them every day. They don't care about the state of your lady garden, they won't even remember it after the event. Its a far bigger issue for you than them. Just get the test done!

Wear a long top, split crotch tights are odd.

Bless you. Ask for a smaller speculum. The last smear I had was really great, done privately so that could be an option if you can afford it and find today too difficult. I’ve had a lot of invasive treatments including a biopsy of my lining and ivf. The first egg removal was before the anaesthesia hadn’t kicked in and I nearly fainted from the pain. I still have a hate of smears so ignore the people saying it’s nothing.

My last smear was done by my friend. The conversation went ‘I’ll get another nurse if you will be more comfortable?’, ‘no I’m okay with you’, ‘are you sure because I won’t be offended?’ and so on.

In the end I said ‘Do you not want to do it?’ Lol but she done it, but I’m one of these that I don’t care who’s doing it as long as they know what they are doing! Trust me once they’ve seen one vagina they’ve seen them all- you are just another on the list.

Don’t be afraid or embarrassed. They are doing their job, and every nurse I’ve had have always talked me through what was happening, kept me covered up and maintained my dignity, asked if I needed them to stop at any time to tell them and so on.

I'm sorry you have had such distressing and traumatic experiences, op. I take my hat off to you for working so hard to find a way to go back and make it manageable for yourself. I really hope it goes as well as it can.

I can see why some people are reacting the way they are, but I personally disagree that you are being "weird" for wanting to feel covered up - you may find it interesting to know that if a patient is having a colonoscopy or sigmoidoscopy rather than expecting them to just be bare from the waist down they are given shorts with a slit in the back so that they are covered and still have some dignity despite the horrible procedure.

It makes a significant difference to most people. Feeling scared, anxious, and vulnerable increases pain, so HCPs have a responsibility to minimise it. There is no medical justification for disregarding people's dignity or leaving them feeling unnecessarily exposed and vulnerable. A few people may be unconcerned, but I do not believe they are the majority, even if they are loud about it.

I actually think it's more odd that women's dignity and safety isn't given the same level of care and consideration as standard during gynae procedures. It does not hinder access or treatment to make your patient feel less vulnerable or exposed, and if you can achieve those things people will feel more able to undergo examinations and procedures.

I hope one day this changes.

Good luck, op.

I do smears as a nurse and i completely understand your concerns. Good luck whatever you decide to do but make sure the nurse is aware of your anxiety, it is a very important investigation, so it is important that you are at ease and if you explain the reason for the tights then it should be ok.

Wear a long skirt anyway and then if it can’t be done you only have to take one leg out and you can keep covered. ( or wear stockings).
Honestly as a nurse we don’t care as long as you the patient is ok and the smear gets done for your sake.
( prior to doing smears I dreaded having a smear so I do understand)

Good luck op.

I get precribed diazepan to help with my smears as I find them so tricky.

You don't have time for that, so I would go for a glass of wine/shot of spirits beforehand.

Focus on the feeling you will have after it is all done and dusted.

A big part of their job is to look at fannies and once you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all... They really don’t care about it and I honestly think crotchless tights would make you look weird AF.

I know exactly how you feel. It took me a long time to pluck up courage to go back after a particularly painful experience.
Taking some over the counter painkillers an hour before helps and I was also told to concentrate on relaxing my lips - apparently tensing your mouth tenses down there. Don't know how true it is but the placebo effect seems to help.

Just tell the nurse you're particularly nervous and why and I'm sure she'll be able to reassure you.

Good luck.

I wouldn't wear cut up tights!

Hopefully the next smear will be OK. Sorry you suffered last time. I have had a combination of good smears, average ones, and a couple that were vile. It's a lottery really, and how it is, depends on the nurse.

Wearing tights with a split in them is very odd though. As some people have said, wear a skirt, that will be better than a hole gouged into tights.

Good luck ...