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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Smear test and tights AIBU?

130 replies

Andromeida59 · 22/01/2019 23:15

This is not a wind up and I don't want the Daily Dial even fucking with this. Long time poster.

So, I have my smear test tomorrow. It's overdue because the last nurse did a really bad job (heavy bleeding for days). I hate getting really uncovered. Would I be U if I wore split crotch tights? My thinking is at least part of me would be covered and I wouldn't feel quite as bad.
AIBU? I don't know if this is just weird. Please be kind. Definitely not a bloke.

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 22/01/2019 23:33

oh, and at my last one I was told they had changed the whole process of testing. They first test your sample for HPV and only if that is positive do they look for cancerous changes. I believe they are rolling that out to other areas. This is because nearly all cervical cancers are caused by HPV.

My nurse said researchers hope that in the future, because girls get the HPV vaccine that future generations of women will only need a couple of smear tests in their whole adult lives.

Meralia · 22/01/2019 23:34

What about your underwear? You’d have to remove that anyway so not sure the crotchless tights will make a difference?

I think the skirt or dress idea may be the way to go. I’ve been having yearly smears for ages, I’m not to bothered about what I wear although I always make sure I wear socks. Don’t know why as it obviously doesn’t make a difference, but it makes me feel a bit more clothed!

CurlyhairedAssassin · 22/01/2019 23:36

It sounds even worse when you say they are from LoveHoney. They were bought from a kinky website not a health shop or even a lingerie shop! Grin

Ribbonsonabox · 22/01/2019 23:37

I always wear a tunic type dress that I just hoik up round my waist. Then you can just pull it straight back down as soon as they take the speculum out. I think the less you are wearing the better tbh as to me faffing about with loads of clothing makes it more embarrassing. Just baggy stuff that you can quickly take on and off. I imagine tights would be a nightmare. I wear leggings under the tunic if it's cold. Then at least you can also wear socks which you can leave on when u take the leggings and knickers off.

Original poster
Andromeida59 · 22/01/2019 23:39

I thought I'd wear underwear over the top but think I'm just going to go with a longish dress. Thank you for all of the positive messages. I can see why so many don't get them done. The new nurse does seem really nice. It's probably going to be fine. It doesn't help that it's later tomorrow evening. I just want to get it over and done with and then concentrate on TTC. It's bloody scary though.

OP posts:
GlitterStick · 22/01/2019 23:39

Well done for going,but I don't get it? Just go, get it over and done with. They'll have seen it all before! Had mine the other week, I just let the legs flap to one side and thought of anything but and more preferable lol.
Plus what are split crotch tights?! Never heard of them! Surely tights will just be in the way.

Definitely not a bloke. makes you sound like a man

Would have thought the same but been accused of being a man on here too many times before.
Could be real.

Popc0rn · 22/01/2019 23:40

www.thetelegraphandargus.co.uk/news/15628195.underwear-invention-aims-to-give-more-dignity-during-smear-tests/

There was a place to buy crotchless knickers especially for smear tests! Unfortunately looks like they've gone out of business, lovehoney must be cheaper!

M3lon · 22/01/2019 23:41

Please do tell her how you feel about it and give her the chance to support you and make it a more positive experience.

Good luck with it!

Maybe plan a treat for afterwards? You'll have done a brave thing!

budgetneeded · 22/01/2019 23:41

i wear socks, having the socks on my feet/covered ankles helps me feel less exposed.

newtlover · 22/01/2019 23:43

slightly off topic but I remember in the 70s you could buy single leg tights
they sort of went across the body at the top, so if you wore 2 they would be crossed at the top, but - well- crotchless. Very good for avoiding thrush but also if you got a hole in one, you could still wear the other leg (if you had a few pairs that is)- seemed like a good idea don't know why they didn't take off

Fatasfook · 22/01/2019 23:46

I feel all sick and itchy imagining this

coco2891 · 22/01/2019 23:47

You can ask for a smaller instrument thingamigiggy to be used / I do and it's a lot less painful .

GlitterStick · 22/01/2019 23:49

I feel all sick and itchy imagining this

Why? Seriously, nothing to it.The thought's worse than the actual event.

Fatasfook · 22/01/2019 23:51

The tights! Not the smear, smears don’t bother me at all.

BreconBeBuggered · 22/01/2019 23:52

Just go without tights and put them back on when you're done. I walk the dog bare-legged in the dark every morning, and it's fine with a longish skirt, even in the cold. There are suspender tights, which would do the same job as the crotchless ones without looking so obviously (or at all) recreational, but it's probably a bit late to go for those now. Good luck with the smear.

Tinkerbell89 · 22/01/2019 23:56

I think it would give them something to talk about. They do this procedure daily and I'm sure take not much notice of down there. Wearing crotchless tights...they'll notice and remember that. It's a quick thing so I'd advise just try not to worry...or draw more attention to yourself. Hope it goes ok.

VanillaSauce · 23/01/2019 00:01

Long skirt and knee long socks. It'll look a lot less weird than crotchless tights.

AbsentmindedWoman · 23/01/2019 00:10

I hope your smear goes well OP, best of luck.

Tempname92 · 23/01/2019 00:19

OP I had a smear test last week, I was dreading it as I have a tilted womb and I was convinced it was going to be awful. It was absolutely fine! It was over really quickly and the nurse was really lovely, I explained I was nervous and she made me feel so much better.

I wore a loose skirt which I felt comfortable in. Please don’t worry and well done for going :) I would encourage anyone to go for their smear test. They really aren’t as bad as people say, I hardly felt anything and it’s such a small price to pay to prevent illness.

GlitterStick · 23/01/2019 00:24

The tights! Not the smear, smears don’t bother me at all

Oh good, glad to be corrected! Smile

Talkingfrog · 23/01/2019 00:43

I have had several, smears, endometrial scratch x2. 4 embryo transfers and numerous internal scans. I still felt a bit uncomfortable and embarrassed going for a smear on Monday.

I usually wear shoes and triuses/leggings that are easy to take off, and wear a long top/tunic so it naturally covers you up.

The nurse explained to me that they also test for hpv now too. She had difficulty funding my cervix, so probably took longer than most, but even so I was out in about 10 minutes.

I think wear what you feel comfortable in so that you are as relaxed as possible.

SleepingStandingUp · 23/01/2019 00:50

In this weather tights and long skirt / dress. Take tights and knickers off and pull skirt down unt the important moment and then nurse will just pull it up enough.

Good luck OP, I normally find them frigging painful but last one went really quick, painless and a clear result so I will send you my last smear good luck

BritInUS1 · 23/01/2019 00:51

No don't wear them it is very odd

Long gypsy style skirt, pants off, bunch up skirt so you can't see what's going on - they will be done in a couple of minutes

GlitterStick · 23/01/2019 01:13

Long gypsy style skirt, pants off, bunch up skirt so you can't see what's going on - they will be done in a couple of minutes

That's what I do, flop the legs, sorted lol

EatsFartsAndLeaves · 23/01/2019 01:35

Good luck. Can you have a glass of wine before you go? Might help you relax.