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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

13 year old wrongly accused of shoplifting Weetabix

293 replies

nojellybabies · 22/01/2019 19:34

He went to Tesos to buy Weetabix and butter. This is what he said:

As he put the Weetabix in his bag a female employee came up to him and challenged him saying “what are you doing with that Weetabix?” She called the manager over who said “what’sgoing On?” My son (who hates having to explain himself to strangers and struggles with this sort of thing) said “did you think I was stealing it?” . She replied “yes, you have to use a basket” then moved away.

He paid at self service. As he walked out of the shop the manger called him back and there, in the lobby, in front of a crowd of bystanders took his bag and searched it then demanded the receipt for the Weetabix. Which my son produced. The manager said “sorry you can go”. Interested bystanders told him to go home and tell his family to complain.

He was seriously distraught. Several episodes of Father Ted later he is still feeling humiliated and as if everyone in town now thinks he is a criminal. Even the “my lovely horse” episode only helped a bit.:(

I’ve spoken to the general complaints line and asked the man there (who started apologising when I said the word “Weetabix”-I mean who the hell shoplifts Weetabix?) to get the shop to write to my son to apologise.

I haven’t marched down there because I don’t want to embarrass him further. I am trying to stress all the things he did right to him.

Something is surely wrong with the training here? AIBU?
And Weetabix?!? admittedly he bought some butter too but all the same...

OP posts:
AJPTaylor · 22/01/2019 19:36

Well no doubt whilst focusing on your son others were probably stealing more valuable stuff.
How utterly stupid. It's a good job he printed the receipt. What if he hadn't?

comedycentral · 22/01/2019 19:36

He will forget about it soon. It's not right what's happened but he will cheer up soon. Don't let it put him off shopping in store.

cloudtree · 22/01/2019 19:40

Horrible experience for him. But at the same time he should know not to take things off a supermarket shelf and put them into his bag. Its fairly likely that a member of staff would think he was going to steal it.

TyneTeas · 22/01/2019 19:40

YANBU to be annoyed.

I tell my teen to use a basket, keep bags shut and hands out of pockets to minimise suspicious-looking movements.

MrWolfknowsthetime · 22/01/2019 19:42

Did he put it in his bag before he went to the till?

Desmondo2016 · 22/01/2019 19:42

If I saw someone putting an item straight into a bag I would assume they may be planning to steal it. Id wait until they failed to offer payment before confronting tho.

TrueLoveWays · 22/01/2019 19:44

He shouldn't really have put it in his bag before going to the tills.

LikeYouSaid · 22/01/2019 19:44

Tbh he shouldn’t have put it in his bag (what else are they supposed to think seeing someone putting goods in their bag unless it’s to pack it away at the till?)

Their reaction might have embarrassed him but they were only doing their job. If they didn’t challenge people putting things in bags before paying loads of people would get away with shoplifting.

Houseonahill · 22/01/2019 19:44

YANBU to be annoyed and they didn't handle it very well but if I saw someone putting something straight in their bag I would think they were shoplifting too.

geekone · 22/01/2019 19:45

I put all of my shopping in a bag before the till. I would be marching down there if this was my child and if he would be embarrassed I would not be taking him with me but that manager would be getting it in the neck.

BlackCatSleeping · 22/01/2019 19:45

It’s a pretty important life lesson to teach your kids not to put stuff in your bag before paying. Just explain that and let it drop. He was in the wrong here, I think, but sorry he’s upset.

Nicknacky · 22/01/2019 19:46

When you say he put it in his bag, do you mean like his schoolbag?

Then I can understand the staff speaking to him. Tell him in future to carry it or use a basket.

Aprilshowersarecomingsoon · 22/01/2019 19:46

My ds was accused in a newsagent. I went back and complained to the manager in front of other customers-naming the member of staff . Like he had shown my ds up.

BlackCatSleeping · 22/01/2019 19:46

Why do you do that geekone?

Why not use a basket or trolley?

TokenGinger · 22/01/2019 19:48

I'm amazed at all of these people saying don't put it in the bag before going to the till.

Where I live, you're genuinely lucky to be able to get a basket! It's near impossible. I generally do my weekly food shop by going around Aldi or Asda loading up my bag for life (the large woven ones), and unloading again on the counter. I don't buy enough to need a trolley and there's never any bloody baskets available to use. It's the norm here to see people using their shopping bags as a basket.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 22/01/2019 19:48

Nobody shoplifts Weetabix!
Red Bull and Doritos, yes.
Not Weetabix!

Ragaroo · 22/01/2019 19:49

I agree with most, you should use a trolley or basket before going to the checkout. These keep the items more visable on cctv... if everyone went around putting stuff into their bags, coats, prams etc. then security would have a hard job distinguishing the shoplifters from the innocent shoppers. I hope he feels better soon and hopefully knowing this will help him see that it wasn't HIM they were judging, but his poor judgement of how to carry his shopping.

cloudtree · 22/01/2019 19:50

I would be marching down there if this was my child and if he would be embarrassed I would not be taking him with me but that manager would be getting it in the neck.

Hmm what a dreadful attitude. He was in the wrong. Its perfectly logical for the staff to have thought he was shoplifting. They were doing their job.

It was horrible for him and I feel for him but he was in the wrong.

ineedaholidaynow · 22/01/2019 19:51

The only time I put shopping in a bag before paying for it is when I use a self scanner at our local supermarket. I always remind DS when he is going shopping that he must always use a trolley or basket and not put things in a bag before paying, as he doesn't have a card that is registered to use the self scanner. I also have to remember not to put things straight into a bag, if I am in another supermarket.

If you put things straight into a bag, don't you have to get them all out again to pay? Easier to put n a basket or trolley

BertieBotts · 22/01/2019 19:51

I don't think it's that weird to put things into a bag before paying when you are using reusable bags. It is in a way more weird to only be "allowed" to use the bag after you have paid. Perhaps I have got more used to this as a practice since I live in a country where reusable bags have been the norm a lot longer than the UK though. I know it's not generally as accepted there, but sometimes it is practical.

However I do agree that teenagers and particularly boys are under higher scrutiny by shop staff and (rightly or wrongly) it would be wise for them to be a bit more cautious and obvious that they are not shoplifting, if they don't want to be accused of it. I used to get followed around shops a lot when I wore black hoodies as a teen.

BeanTownNancy · 22/01/2019 19:52

A big, reusable carrier bag takes up half the basket, so I always just carry the bag and put my shopping straight in it, take item out at the till to scan and put it straight back in. I wouldn't complain if someone asked to see my receipt after going through the checkout (just like any spot-check wouldn't bother me) but if they confronted me before I'd had the chance to pay I would be really put out.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 22/01/2019 19:52

Ah, the Great Weetabix Thefts of 2018 still loom large in Tesco....

BertieBotts · 22/01/2019 19:52

Yes, holiday, you do - but it's no more difficult than getting the items out of a basket, especially if you only have a few items (e.g. less than 10)

CurbsideProphet · 22/01/2019 19:53

I remember reading that cheese is one of the most shop lifted items.

It sounds like they overreacted massively to your son putting weetabix in a bag instead of basket. If he wanted to shoplift wouldn't he have tried to hide it?!

Nicknacky · 22/01/2019 19:53

I can understand playing items directly into a bag for life, but is that what the boy was doing?

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