13 year old wrongly accused of shoplifting Weetabix

[nojellybabies]

He went to Tesos to buy Weetabix and butter. This is what he said:

As he put the Weetabix in his bag a female employee came up to him and challenged him saying “what are you doing with that Weetabix?” She called the manager over who said “what’sgoing On?” My son (who hates having to explain himself to strangers and struggles with this sort of thing) said “did you think I was stealing it?” . She replied “yes, you have to use a basket” then moved away.

He paid at self service. As he walked out of the shop the manger called him back and there, in the lobby, in front of a crowd of bystanders took his bag and searched it then demanded the receipt for the Weetabix. Which my son produced. The manager said “sorry you can go”. Interested bystanders told him to go home and tell his family to complain.

He was seriously distraught. Several episodes of Father Ted later he is still feeling humiliated and as if everyone in town now thinks he is a criminal. Even the “my lovely horse” episode only helped a bit.:(

I’ve spoken to the general complaints line and asked the man there (who started apologising when I said the word “Weetabix”-I mean who the hell shoplifts Weetabix?) to get the shop to write to my son to apologise.

I haven’t marched down there because I don’t want to embarrass him further. I am trying to stress all the things he did right to him.

Something is surely wrong with the training here? AIBU?
And Weetabix?!? admittedly he bought some butter too but all the same...

I'm not sure about the question- I can see both sides; but you have certainly raised your son well:

Several episodes of Father Ted later

I would be marching down there if this was my child and if he would be embarrassed I would not be taking him with me but that manager would be getting it in the neck.

And that would get you absolutely nowhere apart from a shop ban

Nobody steals weetabix
Oh yes they do, shoplifters will steal anything that's not nailed down!

Two things that got nicked in the shop I used to work in were cheese and bacon.

I did have a shoplifter pinch cereal too.

But it sounds like they profiled him and that’s not fair. Definitely complain.

I lived abroad. Perfectly standard in some other European countries to use your bag instead of a basket and take it to the till.

Would you be able to use this incident to try and teach a bit of resilience? Emphasise that because he was sensible and kept the receipt, his innocence was proven and the manager had to say "Sorry".

Honestly in our house we'd be saying, "Flipping heck mate, that sounds a bit hairy. Well done on how you managed it, all sorted now, let's move on." And making cracks about him being a light fingered master criminal for the next 5 years.

After he was told to use a basket, did he use a basket?

Of course, putting stuff in your bag before paying for it (unless into open bags inside a trolley) looks like shoplifting - you're basically 50% there! and especially if you then go to self checkout.....

It's horrible that he was embarrassed, poor kids but you've really no grounds for complaint!

I remember reading that cheese is one of the most shop lifted items.

That's because cheese is small and expensive. Weetabix, otoh, is massive and cheap. If you were going to steal anything, it wouldn't be Weetabix.

Loads of people here use a woven bag and take to till. Or older people load their walker trolleys. Then take out when get to till..
An old friend of mine uses to do it this way as she could bear touching the handles of baskets or shopping trolleys because of germs.
When mydp did security for tesco he was always trained they weren't allowed to approach potential shoplifters unless they'd left the store. As whilst the items are in the store they're not stolen

He put the shopping straight in the bag before he paid? Well of course they thought he might be stealing it. Unless he was doing the self scanner thing.

I frequently use a bag for life as a basket in Tesco. I can't carry a basket, a massive bag and pick stuff up.

To shoplift you have to have left the store so I don't know what the benefit of stopping people in the store is. When I used to work in a shop we were told we had to be 100% sure before stopping anyone for shoplifting as if you got it wrong then we could be sued for defamation of character.

Thanks.
After the episode where the priests get stuck in Ireland’s biggest lingerie section he started to brighten.

I have always sent him to Tescos with a backpack or similar and told him off for not bringing it.

I have once been in a place where you had to carry a basket or woe betide you. That was behind the Berlin Wall! When the wall came down the shop proudly put up signs. “V kotve nakup i bez tasce!”. It means “in Kotva you can shop without a basket now”.:)

Yanbu OP.
Lots of people use bags instead of baskets in Aldi, some stores have signs to say use baskets only.
They staff should have notified security and they should have watched him directly or with the 20 cameras they have facing the tills.
I don't think staff are suppose yo confront a thief, she obviously felt he was not a threat.
I can't understand them. You should go down tomorrow or better email the store.

I shop with a wheeled pull along trolley bag (oh the glamour). I haven’t enough arms to carry a basket as well, so I put my shopping straight into the bag. Anyone watching me do this would also see me unpack it and pay at the check out. I’ve never been challenged but then I probably don’t fit their typical shoplifter profile (whatever that is).

They jumped the gun with your DS, they were clearly at fault but they won’t admit it so I don’t think I would bother pursuing it.

As far as your DS is concerned, reassure him that embarrassing as it was for him, no-one else will recognise him or remember it happening.

“Would you be able to use this incident to try and teach a bit of resilience? Emphasise that because he was sensible and kept the receipt, his innocence was proven and the manager had to say "Sorry".”

Yes, you are right, I have played it that way -that it came out right.

I’m sorry your son was humiliated but I don’t think the shop was in the wrong. It looked like he was stealing.

I would be reacting like @TinklyLittleLaugh - honestly sometimes things happen that are embarrassing, he will need to learn some resilience and you demanding a written apology is not going to encourage that.

Why did he need to put in in his backpack instead of just carrying two light weight items? You can understand why it looked suspicious to the staff.

I know there are obviously millions of potential valid exceptional reasons why people might prefer not to use a trolley or basket - but putting stuff in a bag before paying really isn't conventional behaviour.

Lol at the idea of being able to hide 72weetabix in a bag. It sticks out!
It would be like writing “swag” on the side :)

It’s massive!

I Stole frozen pizza from a small supermarket when I was 13. It taught me a valuable lesson ( not to steal something you cant use! ....joke)
I generally have to put it on every application form as I work in the Health Sector. Never did I steal again!

Although in Aldi I do put things in my woven bag to pay at the till.

Why not just carry it to the till?

I need a diagram to demonstrate the relative sizes of bag and Weetabix....

@Myimaginarycathasfleas I find that really weird! Unless they’ve followed you round how do they know you didn’t put a £25 joint of beef in the bottom which never comes out?!

Although, having said that, I’m now remembering that when my twins were little my local Tesco didn’t have a twin baby trolley so I would have to laden my buggy with stuff - including the basket underneath. Neever had a problem but I was always a bit embarrassed!

All this 'shouldn't put in a bag' generally nobody should be tackled until they attempt to leave the store as otherwise there is no evidence of intention to permanently deprive.

It's not stolen unless you've left the shop.

Lots of people eat stuff as the go round the supermarket and pay for it at the till.