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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

13 year old wrongly accused of shoplifting Weetabix

293 replies

nojellybabies · 22/01/2019 19:34

He went to Tesos to buy Weetabix and butter. This is what he said:

As he put the Weetabix in his bag a female employee came up to him and challenged him saying “what are you doing with that Weetabix?” She called the manager over who said “what’sgoing On?” My son (who hates having to explain himself to strangers and struggles with this sort of thing) said “did you think I was stealing it?” . She replied “yes, you have to use a basket” then moved away.

He paid at self service. As he walked out of the shop the manger called him back and there, in the lobby, in front of a crowd of bystanders took his bag and searched it then demanded the receipt for the Weetabix. Which my son produced. The manager said “sorry you can go”. Interested bystanders told him to go home and tell his family to complain.

He was seriously distraught. Several episodes of Father Ted later he is still feeling humiliated and as if everyone in town now thinks he is a criminal. Even the “my lovely horse” episode only helped a bit.:(

I’ve spoken to the general complaints line and asked the man there (who started apologising when I said the word “Weetabix”-I mean who the hell shoplifts Weetabix?) to get the shop to write to my son to apologise.

I haven’t marched down there because I don’t want to embarrass him further. I am trying to stress all the things he did right to him.

Something is surely wrong with the training here? AIBU?
And Weetabix?!? admittedly he bought some butter too but all the same...

OP posts:
Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 22/01/2019 21:15

I'll admit that I've used my own bags for life when there have been no baskets or if I've run out of room in it.

I still think it's a bit of a stretch to say it's normal to do this.

Normal - as in the practice of most of the population - is to use a trolley or a basket. The exception doesn't make the rule.

It sounds like OP's son has had a horrid experience and is probably owed an apology, but he really needs to know that what he did isn't considered normal behaviour.

nojellybabies · 22/01/2019 21:20

Diagram as requested.
My son is on the left. The giant weetabix is on the right

13 year old wrongly accused of shoplifting Weetabix
OP posts:
nojellybabies · 22/01/2019 21:21

2nd attempt

13 year old wrongly accused of shoplifting Weetabix
OP posts:
SchadenfreudePersonified · 22/01/2019 21:24

Your son doesn't suit that lipstick - maybe that's why they stopped him! Grin

Willowtreecottage · 22/01/2019 21:24

I’m really really surprised at this.
I work for Tesco - we wouldn’t / and not would security be able to speak to your son that way.
We’d watch him and make sure he paid. That isn’t difficult. Confused
I would go back in and ask to speak with the duty manager - it wasn’t fair for your son... particularly as he is a minor!

nojellybabies · 22/01/2019 21:26

Thanks willow. I was surprised and complaints-central guy sounded surprised too.

OP posts:
GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 22/01/2019 21:27

If he put the Weetabix in his own bag, rather than a basket, then TBH I'm not surprised there was initial suspicion.

However I do have sympathy, since not,long ago I was stopped at Asda after using a self service checkout - because a piece of steak had a small security tag on the back. I hadn't noticed it and the checkout hadn't automatically summoned an assistant to remove it. So it set off a beep as I exited.

And for once I hadn't I hadn't bothered to take my receipt! Had to stand there for ages while they went through a bin of discarded receipts to find it.
Thank God they did.
But I was mightily pissed off about nobody being summoned to remove the security tag - it was a horrible experience.
Always take your receipt when using self checkouts!

ItsClemFandangoCanYouHearMe · 22/01/2019 21:27

I regularly put things in a bag and unload at the till. It's not shoplifting until you walk out of the door.

Your poor DS, that's awful for him.

5foot5 · 22/01/2019 21:28

Mind blown by this thread, literally NEVER seen anyone put stuff into their own bag before paying.

Same here. This thread has been a real eye opener. I honestly would have suspected shoplifting too. I don't think it can be the norm round here. Mind you I have never noticed any shortage of trollies or baskets where I shop. That would be annoying

Nicknacky · 22/01/2019 21:28

There is nothing to stop staff speaking to a customer in store. If it prevents a theft then it should be encouraged.

Theft takes up valuable stop staff time and the police aren’t going to to get there any time soon.

nojellybabies · 22/01/2019 21:29

“Always take your receipt when using self checkouts!”
Yes I’ll definitely do that from now on

OP posts:
NewPapaGuinea · 22/01/2019 21:33

Surely it’s only shoplifting if he’s actually left the shop. And with scan as you shop you’re actively encouraged to put items into a bag rather than a basket.

ilovepixie · 22/01/2019 21:33

I work in a shop and since the plastic bag charge loads of customers put their shopping in their own bags before coming to the till. I don't know why it's easier to use a basket but we can't say anything to them

RiddleyW · 22/01/2019 21:33

I always say no a receipt as well! I assume they’d check the till if they were worried.

cdtaylornats · 22/01/2019 21:37

When I was young in the 60s it was common for women to leave their shopping bags near the tills and go shopping with a basket.

SuziQ10 · 22/01/2019 21:38

As others have said, better to use a basket. And I'm sure you / he probably will in future, after this.
But sorry he has been feeling upset and humiliated by the incident. That's not nice at all. Mistakes happen, hope he's feeling better about it all in the morning and doesn't dwell on it. What a nice young lad helping out with the shopping.

EarringsandLipstick · 22/01/2019 21:39

Returnofthesmileybar whaaat? Where in Ireland are you?😂
I’m Irish, living in Ireland (Dublin, but spend lots of time elsewhere too), I’ve NEVER noticed people using own bags to shop, only after payment,not to mind doing it all the time since 2002.
Other posters, this isn’t the ‘Irish way’ as you describe it 😊

jcyclops · 22/01/2019 21:40

A supermarket I sometimes use has too few hand baskets, and when the shop is busy these all seem to be by the tills and none are found near the entrance. When this happens I go round the shop putting the goods in my shopping bag and empty it at the till. I have never been stopped or had anyone say anything to me about this.

Jackyjill6 · 22/01/2019 21:41

Well I had started refusing receipts, but I may rethink this. (although I am clearly not a teenager so this may be unnecessary)

EmeraldShamrock · 22/01/2019 21:45

Another in Dublin who packs into my large grip bag, I fling it in then empty at till and reload.
My sister is like Monica from friends she packs it in her 10 bags for life, emptys then repack into the correct bags again. Lots of shoppers do it since they brought their bags anyway.

nojellybabies · 22/01/2019 21:48

Aw thanks Suzi x

OP posts:
tillytrotter1 · 22/01/2019 21:48

Lots of people eat stuff as the go round the supermarket and pay for it at the till.

Lots eat or feed their children as they go round and don't pay for it! Apparently 'they' can afford to be robbed of a handful of grapes it it's for a child.

EmeraldShamrock · 22/01/2019 21:49

I've seen it in Aldi, Dunnes stores, Tescos, lidl, super value.
Lots of people bring their trendy granny trolley and fill it going around.

LilQueenie · 22/01/2019 21:54

I shop with a backpack all the time and use self checkouts. Never have I been told to use a basket. there is supposed to be someone on the self service to fix the stupid things anyway so someone obviously wasn't doing their job correctly. Don't the screens have a camera to check for theft anyway? stuff the receipt.

froodledoodle · 22/01/2019 21:55

@BlackCatSleeping

Why do you do that geekone?

Why not use a basket or trolley?

I use to do it for my own convenience. If I stopped to buy half a dozen things on the way home from work, I was in a hurry and tired, and it was both quicker and more convenient to shove stuff in my capacious shoulder bag - which left both hands free - and scuttle around the store unhampered by a trolley.

I was never questioned, but if I had been BEFORE I went through the checkout, I would have been ropeable and have raised hell.

After the checkout, if I hadn't paid for something, I would have been fair game.