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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

13 year old wrongly accused of shoplifting Weetabix

293 replies

nojellybabies · 22/01/2019 19:34

He went to Tesos to buy Weetabix and butter. This is what he said:

As he put the Weetabix in his bag a female employee came up to him and challenged him saying “what are you doing with that Weetabix?” She called the manager over who said “what’sgoing On?” My son (who hates having to explain himself to strangers and struggles with this sort of thing) said “did you think I was stealing it?” . She replied “yes, you have to use a basket” then moved away.

He paid at self service. As he walked out of the shop the manger called him back and there, in the lobby, in front of a crowd of bystanders took his bag and searched it then demanded the receipt for the Weetabix. Which my son produced. The manager said “sorry you can go”. Interested bystanders told him to go home and tell his family to complain.

He was seriously distraught. Several episodes of Father Ted later he is still feeling humiliated and as if everyone in town now thinks he is a criminal. Even the “my lovely horse” episode only helped a bit.:(

I’ve spoken to the general complaints line and asked the man there (who started apologising when I said the word “Weetabix”-I mean who the hell shoplifts Weetabix?) to get the shop to write to my son to apologise.

I haven’t marched down there because I don’t want to embarrass him further. I am trying to stress all the things he did right to him.

Something is surely wrong with the training here? AIBU?
And Weetabix?!? admittedly he bought some butter too but all the same...

OP posts:
Babygrey7 · 22/01/2019 20:29

My teenage son was asked (told) to leave the supermarket when he had strayed to a different aisle from me

Apparently it was for wearing a hoodie (he likes to wear the hood up)

He said he was with his mum, but they marched him out

He was very nonplussed by it

Teenage boys soon learn that shops see them as trouble....

nojellybabies · 22/01/2019 20:29

“Why not just carry it to the till?”

Lol where would you put the butter?

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 22/01/2019 20:30

He has two hands..... it’s not difficult to carry two items to a till.

nojellybabies · 22/01/2019 20:32

“As far as your DS is concerned, reassure him that embarrassing as it was for him, no-one else will recognise him or remember it happening.”

Yep, agree thanks.

Also allowed him to do his first Father Jack impression in response to

OP posts:
Celticrose · 22/01/2019 20:34

This is why I always say yes to a receipt though I find it weird that they now ask do you want one. Especially now you pay for bags and a lot of people if only getting a few items just carry them out of the store without a bag

ZogTheOrangeDragon · 22/01/2019 20:34

It’s fine to put the item straight in your bag. After all, lots of people scan items as they go round supermarkets and then pay at the end. It’s exactly the same principle to scanning and paying at the end. A lack of intent to steal and payment, as required, before leaving the shop is what the vast majority of customers do.

SawnUpLooRoll · 22/01/2019 20:37

Oooh diagram!

PixiKitKat · 22/01/2019 20:38

They shouldn't have approached unless they saw him leave the store without paying. It's not theft until that happens. Sounds they were a bit of a jobworth. They should have just observed from a distance if they thought he was stealing

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 22/01/2019 20:38

Not sure all those saying you can't be accused until you leave the shop are correct, either.

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 22/01/2019 20:40

Not approaching people till they leave the shop is most shops policy but don't think it's law.

nojellybabies · 22/01/2019 20:40

is Tue 22-Jan-19 20:38:47
“Not sure all those saying you can't be accused until you leave the shop are correct, either.”

Maybe it’s more a policy thing to avoid the loss of goodwill

OP posts:
MiniMum97 · 22/01/2019 20:42

I always use a bag in the supermarket. I don't want to carry my bags for life and a basket! But I am 45 I suppose and maybe less like I might shoplift. Sad that young people look like shoplifters to shop staff 😟

Nicknacky · 22/01/2019 20:42

They are quite entitled to approach him while he is in the store. They aren’t accusing him of theft of phoning the police. It’s better to proactively prevent theft than let it happen then have to deal with it.

CantstandmLMs · 22/01/2019 20:42

I was accused in a newsagents when I was 11. It was before school and I was so bereft I had to go back home before I went back to school cause I was so humiliated. She had made me empty my pockets, bag etc. Nothing was found AND i was paying for something when she accused me. My mum went round and gave her an ear full 🤦🏻‍♀️ put me off going to any shops on my own for at least a year!

I hope your son is alright. It's just not a nice feeling! Great that he kept the receipt, especially as self service now ask you if you even want one. I expect he'll always say yes!!

Father Ted 👍🏼

nojellybabies · 22/01/2019 20:43

I suppose it’s like the day you take your gentle four year old to soft play and the mothers of the toddlers look at him in horror...

OP posts:
nojellybabies · 22/01/2019 20:45

“They aren’t accusing him of theft “

Um, they actually were my lovely...

OP posts:
TinklyLittleLaugh · 22/01/2019 20:45

Diana I was just about to post exactly the same thing about having to load up my double buggy and wheel it round because there was nowhere to stash it. None of the staff ever seemed bothered though. Though as frazzled, baby brained and sleep deprived as I was, I'm surprised I didn't shoplift by accident.

dustarr73 · 22/01/2019 20:46

I worked in Tesco and they do pick on the kids.Its easier to pull a kid up that an adult.

Thats why i always drum it in to my kids,dont forget your receipt.

Still i would go to the shop,see what they say

franklyshankly2 · 22/01/2019 20:47

I used to work in a supermarket. We were told it was perfectly fine for customers to put their shopping straight into their bag as long as they did eventually pay.

You really aren’t meant to accuse anyone of shopping until they have left the premises without paying. In fact, we could get into trouble if we accused someone before.

Nicknacky · 22/01/2019 20:47

They asked what he was doing with it when he had placed it in his backpack.

And don’t call me “my lovely”

nojellybabies · 22/01/2019 20:48

He asked if they were accusing him of shoplifting and they said yes....

OP posts:
HappilyHarridan · 22/01/2019 20:48

I notice op hasn’t explained why he was putting it straight in his bag before it had been paid for. I doubt it was because he had an enormous bag for life which wouldn’t fit in the basket, or because he uses a shopping trolley on wheels like other posters have said is their reason. Assuming that he had two hands to carry the two items to the till it makes no sense to put them in a bag if you are intending to get them out the bag, what 30 seconds later, when you get to the till??

Nicknacky · 22/01/2019 20:49

So teach him to use his two hands to carry two items and the situation won’t arise again. No confusion then.

nojellybabies · 22/01/2019 20:49

Because putting stuff in a bag is what he considers normal. As do I.

OP posts:
maddiemookins16mum · 22/01/2019 20:49

Who in their right mind puts shopping in their bag before paying for it!!