Reasons why I don’t want MIL to see my baby, AIBU?

[MamaBearXO]

1. She talks about her sons, grandsons and daughters boyfriends penis but mainly her sons and not in a parenting sense
2. She’s allowed her grandson to run out the door numerous times and when he fell downstairs stayed in her bed playing phone games
3. She’s bragged about raping a man to her children’s partners and children
4. She did cocaine just last year
5. With every grandchild she brags about teaching them “nana” as a first word and how upset the parents were (its lies btw)
6. She stretched her granddaughters stomach by upping how much milk she had and the baby was crying in pain (mother of baby told me)
7. She’s allowed men to come in and control her kids and abuse them
8. She gave her children takeaway so they shut up while she has loud sex in the other room (random men she meets on a night out)
9. She’s on the dog ban list but has got a new dog

10. Many of her cats and kittens have gone missing no sign of remorse 11. House is coated in fleas 12. Frequent smoker and smokes in the house and car 13. Takes credit for a lot of things and creates rumours about people which include their parenting 14. Let’s all of her kids smoke drink and do drugs underage 15. The new illegal dog apparently nips 16. Lies 17. Made her children lie about being abused so they didn’t get taken off her properly and all of her kids have been on the child protection register 18. Shares secrets with other family members whenever her kids confide in her 19. Broken her daughters nose 20. Bullies her children 21. Flirts with her son 22. Has let grandchildren’s clothes get peed on by cats and still let them wear the clothes 23. All of her daughters have lost their virginity underage (she’s quite supportive) 24. I’ll make this the last one so I don’t go on anymore, she doesn’t ask how my baby is, she doesn’t ask to see my baby and she doesn’t even know how to spell my baby’s 4 letter name, she also doesn’t agree with her sons parenting

Does your partner want her to see him?

De ja vu?

I think you should involve social services if this is true

Really? What does your partner think?

@NotANotMan he’s not really too fussed but mentioned to me how she’s noticed she doesn’t see baby that often when she has came round

@PlainSpeakingStraightTalking
My previous post was deleted because trolls were commenting apparently

@Confusedbeetle
They won’t listen she keeps managing to get off the hook, last time her eldest called social services on her she managed to get out of it again I don’t know how

@Theresomethingaboutdairy
He’s not too fussed about her being around or not being around, he’s not a big fan of his family but I just feel that her interaction with baby should be even less than what it already is

This is odd. If you believed these things, then you wouldn't even be posting - you wouldn't let her see your baby.

Some of these things are a bit odd as well. Number 8, for example - her children are adult. Now (given you are talking about grandchildren in this post), so is it her adult kids who ate a take away when she had sex, or did this happen 20 odd years ago? Because you talk about meeting men in the present tense... Likewise with the smoking underage etc. Howuch of this stuff do you know, and what has just been gossip thst you've heard?

But if she has done those things and continues to be a danger now, the of course you have to prioritise your child's welfare.

Hi there,
This poster has been forced to repeat her thread because the last one was taken down as it just a slew of trollhunters. We would ask that if posters don't wish to engage, they go and look at some of our other millions of threads, or if they have concerns, report in and we'll take a look.

How old is this ridiculous, embarrassing woman?

I had no idea what to expect when I came on this thread but now I know I wouldn't want her to see my baby either.

However her behaviour and attitude is so very extreme, it puts me in mind of the symptoms of a certain type of brain tumour, one which is treatable but causes the sufferer to lose all inhibition. Sometimes that can be positive (Mo Mowlem was an example), and in other people, absolutely dreadful because nobody wants to be sexually inappropriate,
either by word or deed.

Ask your husband if she has always been like that or, if not, when did it all start.

for you.

Some of this is heresay (I’m not saying it’s not true), but if I was you I would allow her to see the baby in your home, under your supervision and not allow her to babysit. That’s if you want to keep the peace.

I’d be intrested to know what her upbringing was like. Several families I’ve workd with like this, the abuse had occurred a generation before, so they were just repeating what had happened to them, they knew no different. They were very vulnerable themselves and needed support.

She sounds bloody awful. I don't suppose moving is a possibility? Your partner absolutely has to put his foot down over her behaviour. You cant be expected to tolerate this and care for a baby as well.

Having read that list, I am stunned your partner is still in contact with her. Is your partner wanting her to have contact? Show him the list - maybe seeing it as 24 bullet points will bring it home.

If this is a true thread , I'll repeat what I said before - I dont understand how you get involved romantically with anyone from that sort of back ground. Secondly, assuming he is on the birth certificate there is absolutely nothing you can do to stop him taking his child to see his mother, equal PR.

She is clearly very - not to put too fine a point on it - not aware of social boundries is she? Is there some form of underlying MH issue? But no, no one in their right mind would allow anyone like that near a child.

If your partner supports a person like that having any contact with his child then that is in itself extremely worrying.

You don't need anyone to tell you that Yanbu. Surely you know that?

I can't get past number 21 - flirts with her son.

What does he say about his mum doing this?

I'll repeat my comment on the other thread

Reason Number 7 should be REason Number 1

And you must report her to the police and to Social Services to protect other children, not just your own baby

Why isn't DH no contact with her? I'd encourage and support him to do so, and discuss with him whether he wants to report it to the Police.

If this is ongoing with minors you need to keep reporting to SS or the school. Every single time. The kids were on CP registers so they're aware. Report. Report. Report.

I'd also report her to the RSPCA

I dont understand how you get involved romantically with anyone from that sort of back ground because victims of abuse should keep to their own and not mix with the "nice" people Plain??

@Sleeplikeasloth her children range from the ages of 14-29 and she has 6 of them, the takeaway situation I think is dying down a little now that another one of her kids has moved out, plenty of this stuff I’ve seen but as it can be obvious I have heard it from her children who I believe wouldn’t make this stuff up as it’s always been discussed about in a serious situation

No way should your child have any contact with her...

The fact her kids were on the child protection register is enough

It this woman was my MIL, there is no way I would want her anywhere near my child. Not ever. She sounds horrific. If your DH 'isn't too fussed about her being around' then go no contact. You don't want your DC thinking this kind of behaviour is acceptable. The smoking and recreational drug use alone would be a dealbreaker.

@jessstan2
Thank you
She is about 47 years old (my baby almost was born on her birthday, thank god baby was late I couldn’t be dealing with that every year)
And it seems she has always been like that, she does have a few mental health disorders but one of them I have and I can say I act way more mature than a woman just over twice my age

OP I asked this very early on on your earlier thread but does your husband/ partner want to see this woman and have her involved in his child?

If this was my mother I’d be running a mile.