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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this attitude to child's birthday party is a sad reflection of the times

472 replies

balletclassonfriday · 22/01/2019 14:14

A colleague of mine is organising a birthday party for her daughter who will be 9 soon. She is planning on having it at home with party games and a magician (a friend's DH whose doing it for free} and a birthday tea. However, apparently around half of the children from school invited have said they can't come. Some of them told my colleague's daughter yesterday that the reason they're not coming is because it sounds 'babyish' and 'boring' and they only like parties at bowling alleys or where they get to see a movie and have McDonald's.

My colleague is really upset. She can't afford that kind of party and thought 8 and 9 year olds would be happy with games and pizza and birthday cake.

AIBU to be a bit shocked at the attitude of these kids?

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 22/01/2019 17:22

Op party, is known as a retro party, very good. Those who don't like it needed come I expect op does not want rude kids at the party.

woollyheart · 22/01/2019 17:23

I agree - it is often parents encouraging their children to believe that pamper parties etc are cool for children.

In a few years everyone will be saying pamper parties are boring. It is a trend because young adults have them.

The ones who come to the party will really enjoy learning magic tricks. Some people like doing things and others don't.

ranoutofquinoaandprosecco · 22/01/2019 17:25

Gosh, my DD has her party at home last Saturday. Pj party 4.40-6.30. They all watched the greatest showman had hotdogs, artic roll and popcorn and special party bags! (Pj bags) they all seemed to have a great time.

Aeroflotgirl · 22/01/2019 17:25

Those kids saying to op that it's babyish, sound immature themselves.

Jeanclaudejackety · 22/01/2019 17:28

Friends round. Cheap oven pizza, crisps and pop. 15 quid at aldi. Music on whilst they eat and faff. 3.99 tray bake and happy birthday, then sweets and popcorn, movie on. Leave them alone to mess about as much as they want. Slice of cake to take home.

My niece has done this for probably the past 3 birthdays and never any issues.

Fakeflowersandlemonade · 22/01/2019 17:28

My Dd 9 would prob find this party boring too. Her last bday we had a tea party with 5 friends and we had afternoon tea with proper China and decorated cakes. They all loved it and cost very little x

TheVanguardSix · 22/01/2019 17:29

DD is 8 going on 9 and all the 9th birthday parties have been at home with pizza, traditional games, some sleepovers with a film on. In fact I was thinking of how much better it is now than in DC1’s day (he’s 16). Parents at his school set the bar obscenely high. I’m wondering too about the families you’re around.

mikado1 · 22/01/2019 17:30

I know I've become my mother when I say 'What will be left for them to do?' Let them do childish things when they're children!

chillpizza · 22/01/2019 17:31

9 is a funny age. It’s twnds to be pizza/movie at home with a sleepover or going out somewhere like bowling/movies.

Don’t think we have been to an entertainer party after age 7.

KC225 · 22/01/2019 17:38

I think your colleague has missed the 'marketing' trick - which is another sad sign of the times. The Magic workshop, the Magical Challenge or Secrets from the Magic Circle may have stirred up a bit more interest. Anything with a bit of mystery is usually a hit - there was no need to mention the food.

I loathe magic, even as a kid but we went to wedding and they had hired a table magician. He was really funny and a bit of a raconteur plus the close up, quick magic was clever. The kids loved it. Incorporating that into a party would be great fun.

Also agree that an iPad/gamer party is beyond depressing. Why bother?

stopgap · 22/01/2019 17:42

My son is 7 (most classmates are a year older and 8) and they go between the laser tag, bowling etc parties and home parties. The home parties are the ones that the kids prefer, I swear.

He has one next week for a boy turning 8–science projects, movie and food/cake. He’s also been to a dance party at home, and another where a cousin did games in the back garden—think tug of war etc.

I am in the US, so I don’t know—maybe younger kids here are a little more sheltered.

Aeroflotgirl · 22/01/2019 17:45

Op it is your dd party and nobody else's, if she likes it, all that matters. Those who come are the ones that matter. Not the rude kids who wants them at your dd party. The party sounds like a lovely childrens party, with lots of thought and effort.

DaveCoachesgavemetheclap · 22/01/2019 17:55

The post about the ipad party's a joke, right? Confused

user1511042793 · 22/01/2019 17:57

My 8 year old would go because they were friends. She hates pizza but would quietly nibble it at the party. Those kids are rude.

Helmetbymidnight · 22/01/2019 18:04

It’s the parents who are weird. Who wouldn’t say to an 8/9 yr old
‘honey, it’s your mate, give it a go, you might enjoy it’?

thaegumathteth · 22/01/2019 18:10

Kids parties are different now from when I grew up. Dd and her friends recently turned 8. There was a trip to a stables for pony riding / grooming and food after, a slime making party, a limousine party, a party at a cafe making cupcakes, a forest skills party etc etc

That said dd would never turn down an invitation to any party! Her friend had a Halloween party and it was games and a buffet and dressing up and they had a ball.

GettingBackToMe · 22/01/2019 18:12

My 10 year old DS would love a learning-to-do-magic party!

Hope they can forget about the rude idiots, and enjoy the party with some real friends.

HoraceCope · 22/01/2019 18:14

They are 8 years old, some are 9, but some are 8 - into Brownies, arts and crafts.

just plain rude, but i have no idea what she should do, its done now.
invite other children?

Loftyswops988 · 22/01/2019 18:15

The post upthread about having an iPad party has made me feel really sad. Surely this doesn't actually happen? How depressing.

OrchidInTheSun · 22/01/2019 18:16

Lydia - the OP said no such thing. That was another poster's interpretation. The OP has made 2 posts, neither of which are terribly illuminating.

I do think it's all about how you position it.

wornoutboots · 22/01/2019 18:21

My 8 year old would love an invite to a party like that (he bought himself a second magic set with his own money, having enjoyed the one we bought in the Sainsbury's toy sale.

In fact he says "that's not childish, that's AWESOME!!!"
And "where it's it and can I go to that party?" ( C.F.!!!)

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 22/01/2019 18:25

Whattodo This is what the OP said:

Apparently the invitation specified 'magician's workshop' with some blurb about learning the 'tricks of the trade' as my colleague wanted to make it sound exciting as she knows a lot of parties are held at venues nowadays.

Lydiaatthebarre Where does she say that? Short of having a name change fail, I’ve read all the OPs posts and that isn’t one of them.

junebirthdaygirl · 22/01/2019 18:28

My ds had all parties at home until he was 12. Same party every year. Football in the garden and food. We do have space and he is summer born . But as far as he was concerned that was a party. Kids flocked to it and never complained except about penalties and fair play. But we always had a ref..dh..so things ran smoothly.We never could persuade him to be more adventurous.
She just needs to be confident in her own choice of party.

steppemum · 22/01/2019 18:32

Apparently the invitation specified 'magician's workshop' with some blurb about learning the 'tricks of the trade' as my colleague wanted to make it sound exciting as she knows a lot of parties are held at venues nowadays.

OP at 14:53, not highlighted as the name was slightly wrong.

really, when people have repeatedly told you she said it, and it there are only 4 pages beofre people started quoting it, either go bakc and read or shut up, banging on about how you can't find what the Op said is boring

theveryhighlife · 22/01/2019 18:36

I'm in my 30's and I still love magicians!

I think it's a lovely party, my dc are 12 and 9 and would love a party like that. I think the children sound very ungrateful.