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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this attitude to child's birthday party is a sad reflection of the times

472 replies

balletclassonfriday · 22/01/2019 14:14

A colleague of mine is organising a birthday party for her daughter who will be 9 soon. She is planning on having it at home with party games and a magician (a friend's DH whose doing it for free} and a birthday tea. However, apparently around half of the children from school invited have said they can't come. Some of them told my colleague's daughter yesterday that the reason they're not coming is because it sounds 'babyish' and 'boring' and they only like parties at bowling alleys or where they get to see a movie and have McDonald's.

My colleague is really upset. She can't afford that kind of party and thought 8 and 9 year olds would be happy with games and pizza and birthday cake.

AIBU to be a bit shocked at the attitude of these kids?

OP posts:
SuziQ10 · 22/01/2019 18:36

Kids can be harsh sometimes and it wasn't nice to call the party babyish.

It is babyish though and I'm surprised the mum didn't consider that & perhaps thought about how other kids might react.

There's plenty of 'at home' party ideas suitable for the age group. Perhaps a Rave & Pizza party with some glow sticks and LED etc/ House party style disco / movie & pick n mix party / sleepover club

Nunya · 22/01/2019 18:40

balletonfriday

Apparently the invitation specified 'magician's workshop' with some blurb about learning the 'tricks of the trade' as my colleague wanted to make it sound exciting as she knows a lot of parties are held at venues nowadays.

I have an 11 year old niece who I think would love the sound of that.

Different name than balletclassonfriday, but fairly sure this is OP

Helmetbymidnight · 22/01/2019 18:40

The problem is parents who encourage their kids to think in this bizarre way.

Aeroflotgirl · 22/01/2019 18:50

Why is a magic party babyish, thought Harry Potter and Darren Brown are all the rage, and it can be tailored for an older audience, party games are fun and fab at any age. Those sort of children who turn their noses up at your colleagues party, are rude, spoiled and entitled probably like their parents.

Lndnmummy · 22/01/2019 18:57

How incredibly entitled and rude. I have always taught mine that they should be grateful to be invited and behave accordingly. We live in a very diverse area so parties have varied ALOT. Some must have cost 000’s and some have been musical chairs and birthday tea on a blanket in the living room. They have been equally as appreciated and the birthday child
Made to feel nothing but celebrated on their big day. If my child as much as breathed something rude about someone else’s efforts his own party would be cancelled immediately. I would not be having that!

Aeroflotgirl · 22/01/2019 19:00

I agree Lndnmummy reading some of the responses on here, I can see where rude entitled children get it from. Just because a particular party does not follow a certain format, sheep mentality. Not everyone can afford £25 per head for laser, or Go Kart driving, or £20 per head for a ceramics party, it is expensive and not everyone has that disposable income.

Helmetbymidnight · 22/01/2019 19:01

Hear hear!

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 22/01/2019 19:02

steppemum Calm down, love. Did you miss where I said ‘short of having a name change fail’? Which is obviously the case here.

OrchidInTheSun · 22/01/2019 19:02

I have my settings so that the OP's posts are highlighted. I have no idea if that other person is the OP or not.

If it is, I find it really strange that OPs would change their name to something very similar within the same thread. That's not even sock puppeting (or very poor if it is).

OrchidInTheSun · 22/01/2019 19:04

And I haven't banged on, I'd posted once.

I think the party sounds lovely and the kids sound v rude

Mummadeeze · 22/01/2019 19:06

My 10 year old went to an 8 year olds magic party at his house and loved it. I am shocked by their rude responses too.

RhiWrites · 22/01/2019 19:09

I had this kind of party growing up in the 1980s. Even then it was kind of old fashioned but my parents weren’t rich so they tried to be creative with party games.

I’m not surprised this kind of party doesn’t fly now. Sure, it’s rude to say so, but are 9 year old blessed with a lot of tact?

SleightOfMind · 22/01/2019 19:10

DD’s schoolfriend invited a group to do an activity for her birthday when she was this age.
It was something DD was dreading. She went to help celebrate with her friend and make sure her day felt special.
Surely the point of a birthday treat is for the birthday child to have a special day?

ss2011 · 22/01/2019 19:13

How rude! My DD is 8 and would not turn down any party invite and would totally love a magician also (the ones who work around our way are well able to target their act for older kids....even adults find them hilarious). I reckon she should just go ahead with the smaller number and make sure the party rocks..the others will regret it when they hear how good it was

TheToldYouSoDance · 22/01/2019 19:16

YANBU. How entitled! DS (10) recently went to a friend’s 10th birthday party at his house. They had old school party games - pin the tail on the donkey, musical statues etc, dancing, bit of Xbox, sandwiches, crisps and cake. They had a ball.

WhatwouldCJdo · 22/01/2019 19:16

I think it is sad a magic workshop is considered boring.
And sad invites are rejected cos it might be a boring party. Just go and have fun. It's only a few hours with friends- it's not going to hurt. (So young to learn the best events tend be the ones you though woukd be a drag...).

MaggieAndHopey · 22/01/2019 19:19

My 8 year old would love to go to a party like that and my 11 year old wouldn't turn her nose up either, though she might not be so quick to volunteer for magician's helper duties as she would have been a couple of years ago!

Almahart · 22/01/2019 19:23

I’m really surprised by these responses, my 8 year old would enjoy it and we’re not an old fashioned family she has tons of screen time (too much)

MiceSqueakCatsMeow · 22/01/2019 19:25

Twelve years ago I threw a 'pool party ' for ds1 's second birthday. It was really hot. My friend's dd was really disappointed because it was four different sized paddling pools in my back garden.
The point of the story is there will always be dcs who expect more. More is more to some people/children.

Jakeyboy1 · 22/01/2019 19:25

My 7 year old has just requested a magic party. Panicking now.

C0untDucku1a · 22/01/2019 19:28

I originally agreed because a magician is a party for you ger children, but a magic workshop is age appropriate. My children did a magic workshop last summer aged 6 and 8 and loved it. Possibly the child has mis-sold it. Although her friends should want to go anyway. Although saying that we have decided if any child has another nerf zone party we wont be going as they get hurt every time.

MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 22/01/2019 19:28

Why on earth would anyone take a load of kids to macdonalds - disgusting cheap food - and for a birthday party??

ashtrayheart · 22/01/2019 19:30

Sounds fine to me. Might be a child popularity issue rather than the party theme. Not very kind of the children to respond that way whatever the reason though.

ashtrayheart · 22/01/2019 19:30

Because most children like McDonald’s? 😂

steppemum · 22/01/2019 19:32

steppemum Calm down, love

Who are you David Cameron?
I'm just fine thanks, just tired of reading your repeat posts.

reminds me of AIBU - did the OP say it? everyone else YES, you - I don't think so.....