to think this attitude to child's birthday party is a sad reflection of the times

[balletclassonfriday]

A colleague of mine is organising a birthday party for her daughter who will be 9 soon. She is planning on having it at home with party games and a magician (a friend's DH whose doing it for free} and a birthday tea. However, apparently around half of the children from school invited have said they can't come. Some of them told my colleague's daughter yesterday that the reason they're not coming is because it sounds 'babyish' and 'boring' and they only like parties at bowling alleys or where they get to see a movie and have McDonald's.

My colleague is really upset. She can't afford that kind of party and thought 8 and 9 year olds would be happy with games and pizza and birthday cake.

AIBU to be a bit shocked at the attitude of these kids?

I think your colleague has missed the mark by not explaining exactly what it is.

A magician for that age is too young, which is probably what they’re thinking, but a magicians workshop where you get to learn to do the tricks is more in line with their age group. So your colleague needs to sell it correctly.

I think cinema and McDonalds sounds boring compared to party games and a magician! You can do the cinema and a burger any weekend.

My 9th birthday (on vhs no less!) was at a pub hall, music was my parents taste (Queen, so I'll let them off), it was just dancing around, party games, food, jelly and ice cream.

A magician would have been brilliant back then, not babyish at all. Agree with the comment about world weary before their time. If a movie party is better though there's always netflix or if they want to watch something more recent you have google play movies or sky cinema.

Children nowadays aren’t allowed to just enjoy childhood anymore – play outside, amuse themselves with toys, loll around reading books. They’re driven from organised activity to organised activity, handed ipads and iphones to keep them occupied, and allowed to wear make up at an age when a previous generation were still playing with dolls.

As a result, a lot of them seem to have no imagination, no inner resources, and behave in a very superficial way at a very young age. I think that’s sad. Childhood is a special time and goes by fast enough as it is. Stop rushing children through it and just encourage them to be kids.

Whattodo the colleague wrote on the invitation that it was a magician's workshop and partygoers would learn the tricks of the trade.

Whattodo the colleague wrote on the invitation that it was a magician's workshop and partygoers would learn the tricks of the trade.

gogogoforit I’ve just re-read the whole thread. Where does it say that?

Not a fan of magicians and clowns etc - I find them really creepy.

The food and energetic games - with some music and dancing maybe - sound fun for that age group, though.

See op's post at 14.53 whattodo

Whattodo the colleague wrote on the invitation that it was a magician's workshop and partygoers would learn the tricks of the trade.

Ah, if that's the case, it would definitely be a polite No from me.

I don’t understand how hanging with your friends and having a massive party tea is boring. Running round with their friends at home always seemed to be the most fun my DS had.
On the other hand getting dressed up for a few lanes of bowling and not quite enough food at a pizza party or MacDonalds was a bit of a chore.
I’d say the kids were a bit dull really. I’d ditch the magician although a people have them at weddings so hardly childish.

balletclassonfriday Tue 22-Jan-19 14:36:29
Apparently this guy does lots of parties for older kids. It's not really a magic show it's a workshop where he shows the kids how to do the tricks. I would have thought 8 and 9 year olds would love that.

for Whattodo

That doesn’t say that’s what OP put the invitation, so I stand by what I said.

I'm 62 and love magicians! Think Dynamo, Derren Brown.... How horrible for your dd. You can imagine just one child saying babyish and others following suit. I have three dds and know without a doubt that that age group was the worst time for all of them!

I agree these children's imagination and sense of fun has been dulled by technology and a horrible consumerist culture that so many parents draw their children into. I have no doubt that most of them would actually really enjoy a party like this but are going along with the crowd. If I was their parent I would really encourage them to go and enjoy a bit of magic and traditional party fun and games.
Much nicer than gaming parties and ipad parties and pamper parties for 8 and 9 year olds.

I’m more shocked at the parents for indulging their children by allowing them to decline a friends party invitation for such pathetic reasons. Entertainment is irrelevant, it’s a friends birthday and the polite thing is to accept, attend and enjoy it! Lack of social etiquette, probably the parents know no better.

Your friend should not let this deter her. It sounds like a lot of fun and I bet the ones who declined will regret not going in the end.

We just ordered in craft kits (I used the school supply company) like paint your own bird box, or make your own bag for mine then I made pizza bases and they got to decorate them with toppings of their choice. No entertainer needed. Around 6-8 people was enough by that age.

Whattodo This is what the OP said:

Apparently the invitation specified 'magician's workshop' with some blurb about learning the 'tricks of the trade' as my colleague wanted to make it sound exciting as she knows a lot of parties are held at venues nowadays.

My dc would enjoy that- and of course they’d go if they were free.
These kids are... unusual

For the cost of a magician she could take a few of then to the cinema and McDonalds, surely?

Seeing as OP's friend's husband is providing his services for free no. And anyway perhaps the party girl would find the cinema and McDonald's samey and boring.

Don’t think she needs to sell it differently at all. It is your dc birthday and they are doing what they want. True friends would not be so rude to turn down the invite and say it’s babyish even if they thought that it was.

Our Brownies (7 to nearly 11) love party games, although they may not represent the full cross section of the age group.

A workshop sounds more interesting for the target age group than a "magician" (visualises typical Mr Tumble style pitched at younger children). At 9, children are getting a bit more cynical and "knowing" Most have sussed out Santa and the tooth fairy by then. They'll see that "Santa" in his grotto isn't the real one, and that's a healthy development stage. Hopefully they can go ironic and retro in their teenage years

When I was a child you got invited to a handful of birthday parties a year and it was always very exciting.

Nowadays there seems to be parties every week, kids getting jaded of them, parents trying to think of all kinds of ways to make them exciting - pamper parties, petting zoos in the back garden, bouncy castles and so on - and you end up with situations like this.

I think this culture of parties for everything is actually making life less rather than more exciting.

Well the toxic half have been weeded out. Look at it that way and see the positives. Presumably her actual friends are coming?

That's shit. We went to an 8th birthday with a magician last week and the older ones okusadults enjoyed it more than the younger ones.

Magic workshop sounds awesome for 9 year olds - the ones who don’t go will be missing out and I bet they will feel miffed when they hear how good it was.