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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think this attitude to child's birthday party is a sad reflection of the times

472 replies

balletclassonfriday · 22/01/2019 14:14

A colleague of mine is organising a birthday party for her daughter who will be 9 soon. She is planning on having it at home with party games and a magician (a friend's DH whose doing it for free} and a birthday tea. However, apparently around half of the children from school invited have said they can't come. Some of them told my colleague's daughter yesterday that the reason they're not coming is because it sounds 'babyish' and 'boring' and they only like parties at bowling alleys or where they get to see a movie and have McDonald's.

My colleague is really upset. She can't afford that kind of party and thought 8 and 9 year olds would be happy with games and pizza and birthday cake.

AIBU to be a bit shocked at the attitude of these kids?

OP posts:
pinefresh · 22/01/2019 15:04

Very sad. And rude. Both of mine (same age and older) would love a magician. And I'd much rather they went to something like that than a gaming party where they all just stare at a screen (and, according to reports, take the piss out of the kids who aren't so great at gaming).

Apple841 · 22/01/2019 15:04

I think a workshop and 'how-to' with a magician sounds great at that age, and my cousin who is 8 would love to go to something like that. My cousin's 8th birthday party was one of those pamper parties with five friends round and all the jazz that goes with it - even after having a party like that she still would never call someone elses party babyish.

I feel for your colleague and her daughter and I hope they do get some of her friends there and they have a fab time.

Coyoacan · 22/01/2019 15:05

I'm well over sixty and also would have thought a magician was for under-fives.

TakeMe2Insanity · 22/01/2019 15:07

Yes they are rude.

9 is a funny age. Some are mature than others. Agree with pp about a magician’s masterclass rather than a magic show.

steppemum · 22/01/2019 15:07

RTFT people, or at leats the OPs posts.

It is a workshop, aimed at older kids, how to learn about magic. It sounds great, and the invites reflected that, so I think the answer is not the party, it is the kids, who, for what ever reason, do not want to come.

AmphetamineGazelle · 22/01/2019 15:07

That is very rude of the parents of invitees to allow such a reply. Surely they should go and be nice to their friend.
Parties are hell. My DD invited a child to her party, he had a party inbetween her invitation going out and her party. She wasn't invited!! She is 4 so didn't register, but still. The mun never even sent a decline.

Hotterthanahotthing · 22/01/2019 15:07

At this age my dd chose a couple of good friends and we did cinema and food at a restaurant or newly released DVD and a sleepover.We did a campout in the garden once,that was fun.

BrokenWing · 22/01/2019 15:12

I think it's the magican that's throwing it, ds wouldnt have been interested in that at 8-9. By that age they know what they like, if it was someone showing footie skills he would have loved it.

MightyMoose · 22/01/2019 15:13

Magic lessons is totally different to magician. I think maybe the invite wasn't worded well. Magician or party entertainer is for the under 7s really. But, yeah, either way those kids were rude and wouldn't be getting an invite again.

Iamtheworst · 22/01/2019 15:15

Ds would love this. But he doesn’t get invited to many parties so doesn’t get blaze about anything. Not that I’m bitter.

Leedsgirlfriend · 22/01/2019 15:16

They sound like a load of spoilt brats!

NutElla5x · 22/01/2019 15:17

I think the party sounds great and find it very sad (and bloody rude) that 8/9 years olds are calling it boring and babyish,but I think a lot of that is probably due to sheep mentality-you know one popular kid says it,so the kids copy because they want to appear as grown up and cool as him/her,whereas deep down they're probably longing to go haha. Ah well their loss. I do think though that by around that age I'd stopped inviting the whole class to my kid's parties and only invited their actual friends,who would naturally be more on my kids wavelength and enjoy the same things (or would make the effort to come even if they didn't) because I'm pretty sure not every kid wants to be plonked in front of a fucking Ipad!

RiverTam · 22/01/2019 15:18

DD was 9 last term and she's definitely picking up a lot more vibe at school from certain children about stuff being babyish and knowing that she's out of kilter with some of the (sorry to use this phrase) Queen Bee types, because she doesn't want to talk about nail varnish and Taylor Swift - in that she's more than happy for me to do her nails in the holidays and enjoys pop music as much as anyone, she just doesn't want to endlessly talk about it! She and her pals are still happy playing with Playmobil and fashion dolls and whatnot.

ciaobella88 · 22/01/2019 15:19

How sad, and such a sign of the time that kids that age ( still v young whether they like it or not!) would like a magician! Almost as sad as “ iPad party” to be honest

ciaobella88 · 22/01/2019 15:20

*wouldnt

mikado1 · 22/01/2019 15:21

That is really sad. I teach 9+10 yos and they love party games at the end of term. I do all the old ones and they save up points to use for it. I'll bet if they went to party they'd enjoy it.

Bernadetteloves · 22/01/2019 15:21

My 9 year old would be happy with that. I think it is a sad state of affairs when 9 year old think themselves too mature for cake and party games. Also very selfish to not bother going to their friend's party as they would be 'bored' for a couple of hours.

BookwormMe2 · 22/01/2019 15:21

I'd be furious if my DD told another child their party was babyish, even if they privately thought so. It's the height of bad manners and says a lot about their parents. That said, I do think a magician for a nine-year-old's party does sound a bit young. My DD invited a much smaller group for a pizza tea and a sleepover when it was hers.

BeanTownNancy · 22/01/2019 15:33

Pff. Kids these days. Magicians are cool! I had one at my wedding (and it was adults only) and I had dozens of people tell me how cool he was!
But I'm in my 30s and had a board game birthday party, so I'm pretty lame admittedly.

balletonfriday · 22/01/2019 15:34

corneymemo my post wasn't about the rudeness in not coming to the party, but the attitude of 8 and 9 year olds that a party that a party involving magic, party games and a birthday tea is 'babyish and boring'.

Iwantdaffodils · 22/01/2019 15:35

Actually, it seems like "kids today" can't get anything right - they're either growing up too fast, or they're a cotton wool generation who can't make a slice of toast until they're 25. Make your mind up, Daily Mail!
It's perfectly possible to grow up too fast in some ways yet be very immature and incapable.

mikado1 · 22/01/2019 15:35

Magician and cake sounds babyish? I genuinely don't get this. How is cake which I love babyish?!

RiverTam · 22/01/2019 15:37

daffodils agreed - some of the most superficially grown up children I know are very immature. And I don't think it's something to be encouraged because it can then be very easy to forget your dealing with a small child when they strive to come across as 13 all the time.

bridgetreilly · 22/01/2019 15:38

Kids that age definitely do enjoy party games, though they may well be starting to think of themselves as a bit too grown up for them. It's still incredibly rude to turn a party invitation down for that reason and especially to say so.

newnameforthis7 · 22/01/2019 15:40

That party sounds fab! The kids aren't bloody 18! They're only junior age. How is it childish? Confused

They are being bratty. Like a pp said, one kid probably bailed and said 'boooorrring!' and the others followed.

Hope the kids who go have a lovely time. As well as the birthday child. Smile

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