to think this attitude to child's birthday party is a sad reflection of the times

[balletclassonfriday]

A colleague of mine is organising a birthday party for her daughter who will be 9 soon. She is planning on having it at home with party games and a magician (a friend's DH whose doing it for free} and a birthday tea. However, apparently around half of the children from school invited have said they can't come. Some of them told my colleague's daughter yesterday that the reason they're not coming is because it sounds 'babyish' and 'boring' and they only like parties at bowling alleys or where they get to see a movie and have McDonald's.

My colleague is really upset. She can't afford that kind of party and thought 8 and 9 year olds would be happy with games and pizza and birthday cake.

AIBU to be a bit shocked at the attitude of these kids?

It's a bit odd tbh because lots of places around here - cafes etc - do magic workshops that are Harry Potter themed, and they sell out.

Kids do grow up really fast now. It's quite sad, and frankly, given the importance of play developmentally speaking, a tad alarming. You don't learn the same skills or qualities, gurning at a game system.

My daughter was 10 last birthday & we had an at home party.....with a Harry Potter themed, all the kids loved Quidditch in the garden & the Horcrux hunt. Her 8th party was a home one too...all the usual party games but some were Halloween themed as her birthday is the end of October.
I guess 9yr olds might find a magician a little babyish these days but they shouldn't be rude about it. My daughter would be in big trouble if she said that to her friends.

I don't see anything wrong with that party plan -- magic appeals to all age groups from babies to adults. It sounds like the invitees have been told it's babyish by their mothers, or are rejecting the idea because it's unconventional in their social group. Or they are just obnoxious. My question is who are these little girls who would say something so mean to a classmate? Nine years old is more than old enough to know what they are doing. Whether they love the idea or not they should have better manners than to say someone's party sounds babyish. And their mothers should have better manners than to send regrets for such a stupid reason. Your friend has landed in a crappy school class and it's a shame for her daughter.

I think it sounds lovely at any age!! magicians are entertaining for even adulrs. His friends sound crap

Really bad manners - how do they know it is not going to be great fun - lazy, ill mannered parenting too of those children who say they are not "going".
having taken children of a similar age bowling for a party - they seemed incredibly bored a lot of the time and they all wandered off to play on the amusements we had to constantly monitor/round them up again - it was a nightmare
Sitting around on screens parties - wth! - I can't think of anything more boring than that

So first off, WOW! Are some kids really that rude?! I cannot imagine any of my children's friends saying that or having that said to them. Sounds like a good way of sorting the wheat from the chaff as far as kids you want your child to be friends with.

However, honestly, I wouldn't do a magician for a 9th birthday personally. Party games - great but the magician does sound babyish in my humble opinion.

I would pitch it differently. Theme it. The last party I threw for a group of 9 year olds was monster themed and we did guess the body part using disgusting things like wet spaghetti for intestines and a steamed cold wet cauliflower for the brain. However, we did not ask kids to dress up as monsters and had a photo booth corner, did limbo dancing etc etc. Everyone, including me loved it.

If she wants to do the magician why not theme it as a Harry Potter party and he can work his act around that a bit?

I just mentioned this to my daughter who is nine. She said she would love to go to a party with a magician. She thinks it's awesome! Quality over quanity with friends. At least she 'll have the nicest friends there!

Sorry but that is incredibly rude. Kids should be happy for a invite - it's not about how they will be "entertained", it's about meeting up with friends and celebrating a friend's birthday. What a sad state of affairs that a number of posters seem to think this type of attitude is OK.

Can’t get over how rude the children were. Mine would have accepted, and gone, and been nice about it (even if they moaned when they got home). Don’t people teach their DC manners any more?

IMO it sounds too young for that age group.

If budget is an issue, do a sleepover, movie on netflix/tv, pizza delivery

Magician parties belong in the 80s

Al of my kids (including the 11 year old) would be very happy to go to birthday tea type thing and I'm sure they would enjoy the magician, especially the 9 year old who is really into trying to do card tricks etc.

TBH it is probably simply that some of those kids are just not very nice, not proper friends and have terrible manners.

ignorance is not a given,it comes from what is (not)taught.send "we didnt miss you"notes.arseholes

It's just bloody rude. The party is about the birthday child not the guest. I agree with u. The pressure to have some amazing party increases year on year. Some people just opt out and do family only events. I understand why!

9 year olds have never been interested in magicians. They are not so easily fooled.

It sounds like a 5 or 6 year old's dream ... but the kids aren't 5 or 6.

She'd be better off hiring a bouncy castle, it went down very well at ds2's 9th.

Wow kids are entitled these days!!

I find their attitude incredibly rude. I would never have said that to a friend (still wouldn’t!) but then my mother brought me up with manners and respect.

If they don’t want to go fine. The ones who attend are the people worth her DD’s time. I don’t think a magicians workshop for 9 year olds sounds babyish at all. I think it sounds quite cool! I’d have liked that when I was that age.

I hope she has a great birthday regardless!

I would say it was more a reflection on the child's status in the classroom than on the party. If a really popular kid suggested this, I expect everyone would want to come.

But, yes, when i have had kids that age back for my daughters' parties they have never wanted to be very organised. Don't know about boys though

9 year olds have never been interested in magicians. They are not so easily fooled.

Depends on the magician, wouldn’t you say? There are plenty of magicians out there making a good living from adult audiences. If he/she is a proper magician as opposed to a children’s entertainer, chances are they’d be captivated.

Sadly children are in to much of a hurry to grow up. I think what your friend wants to do is absolutely lovely. Nowadays it seems like the parents all want to out do each other equalling greedy youngsters.

@TomVeiga haha that made me laugh! 😂

In what way are laserquest parties a sign of "growing up too early" and a magician isn't? It's a sign of liking different things. There is a lot more choice than there used to be.

We were overly excited about musical statues and pass the parcel at that age - yes times have changed and people are snobbish/rude. Kids parties cost loads

Crazy. I remember loving a similar party aged 11 - one of the best parties I have ever been to.

Last went to a party with a magician in my thirties - brilliant.

Also been to weddings with magicians.

Get new friends I think.

My 8 & 9 year olds love magicians. Those who think they are too cool for that should jog on.
In future, don't tell people what is planned.

There have always been sneery kids

Depends on how influential the sneery kids are though, doesn't it. A few 'popular' kids deem the party infant like, many will follow in their lead.