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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if I'm the only one who didn't .....

193 replies

HildaZelda · 21/01/2019 18:16

..... have a hen when I got married? Back in the noughties so they were definitely a 'thing' at the time.
It was a combination of things really, different groups of friends, some who didn't get on with others, some that I knew would be last minute cancellations, my mother (before going NC) would have tutted at everything and sat there with a cat's bum face.

I don't for one moment regret not having one. Never did, and if I was ever getting married again, I still wouldn't.

Anyone else?

OP posts:
Neverender · 21/01/2019 20:42

I did but I was pregnant...time for a hen do over!

KC225 · 21/01/2019 20:42

I didn't. Went to a few, years back when they were local restaurant, couple of pubs, then ended in the naffiest local club and a shared cab home if you werent too pissed. Feel quite nostalgic about them when I read of three/four day extravaganza. They were cheap and cheerful and a great laugh. Never ever remember anyone feeling pressure to attend nor people falling out over it.

SPARKS17 · 21/01/2019 20:43

I didn't, I had the worst time organising my friends hen do, trying to please two sets of friends with differing ideas on what a good hen weekend involved, made it one of the shittiest things Ive had to organise. Put me off hen weekends for life, haven't been to another since!

ThatsitIquit · 21/01/2019 20:45

Me neither.

Still no regrets, many years on.

notangelinajolie · 21/01/2019 20:46

I did but left early. Got now DH to come and get me and we went home and watched telly. Friends had arranged with the DJ to get me up on stage and anyone who knows me would know that is the very last thing I would ever do. He had his stag night the same night and his friends had similar plans for him. We were glad to get that night over with and get on with the best bit - the wedding Smile

Palegreenstars · 21/01/2019 20:48

Nope. We got married on the sly so would have been a bit of a give away. I do enjoy the ones I choose to go on (house in the country, wine, walks and tasty food) but would have hated being center of attention (hence not mentioning the wedding).

Boulty · 21/01/2019 20:48

I didn't - really not my 'thing' at all.

tillytrotter1 · 21/01/2019 20:48

Does everyone have their mum at a hen night? I would have hated that!

I've heard of that, horrible idea and that's from the mother's point of view!

grumpymummy72 · 21/01/2019 20:49

I didn't. Work colleagues took me for a drink after my last day in, but nothing organised. Didn't have bridesmaids either. Was in my 30s and friends who attended my wedding were from various parts of my life, very few of whom knew each other.

areyoureallysaying · 21/01/2019 20:49

I did (Married in 2001) had a two night weekend away with about 15 girls we drank, ate, paintballed and then stayed out dancing till about 5 in the morning. From the replies on here I can see its not everyone's cup of tea but I had a ball! I'm part of a very tight group of 8 girls (we date back to late primary and early comp days) and we make sure we have at least one or two of these types of weekends away every year.
My other half went to France to play golf with a group of 6 (including his Dad) I think it was probably far tamer !

mindutopia · 21/01/2019 20:58

I didn’t. I grew up in a different country to where I now live and where my wedding was. I did have a little get together at my parents’ house when I visited ahead of my wedding, mainly to see friends and family who weren’t able to travel to the wedding (as it was a long haul flight away for them). But god, no, would not have wanted a hen do and wouldn’t want one now. They are cringy and I hate that sort of stuff. As it was, I had a week of exams just before and pretty much fell asleep in the middle of my party, I was so exhausted.

hickerydickerydockmouse · 21/01/2019 21:12

I don't like hen dos or baby showers. I preferred spending the last few days with my family before my life changed and handed me over responsibilities. Don't like baby showers as had an early miscarriage and also have seen of people having baby showers and then loosing the baby. It makes it even more painful. Better to have a party after the baby is born which is an actual thing to celebrate. Pregnancy is a whole journey of uncertainty until you actually hold a living baby in your hands.

dancinfeet · 21/01/2019 21:27

I didn't. I can't think of anything worse! I've only been to one other hen party, which was in the form of an Ann Summers party. My idea of absolute hell

Realitea · 22/01/2019 17:37

I didn’t have one, didn’t even have any friends to have one anyway. Luckily they’re not really my thing.
However I did go to mums which was an experience! Never been to any others.

MummyMayo1988 · 22/01/2019 17:40

My MOH (also sister) organised a night out for my hen party when I was 24. It was a simple evening in a club. We drank - we danced - we laughed a LOT. It was great fun and I loved it!
A year or so later I went on my friends hen night; very expensive bar in the city, party games and over priced drinks. I had not long had my second child, was BFing and couldn't wait to get home tbh.
In one sense I think hen do's are overrated but I supposed it depends what you do. Too much thoughtcan be put into what is essentially a night out with the girls 🤔😕

flowergrrl77 · 22/01/2019 17:41

Did have girlie friends over the night before to my house to do nails, so did a little something, but not a ‘hen’ as such no!

But we already had a child, who had special needs and he was sleeping upstairs

queenoftheschoolrun · 22/01/2019 17:46

I didn't. Bridesmaid and I had a spa day instead. Not my cup of tea.

Mulberryandthyme · 22/01/2019 17:46

I didn't and neither did my dd. Killjoy runs in my family.

Missingstreetlife · 22/01/2019 17:51

No, hideous idea.

maggiso · 22/01/2019 18:02

I didn’t. Not my sort of thing. DH did not have a stag do either despite his mates trying to organise one.

Sleepsoon7 · 22/01/2019 18:06

I didn’t. A work friend arranged an impromptu drink at a local wine bar inviting any of the other women from work who were around at the time. I was a couple of months pregnant and had to pretend to be drinking fizz so no one would catch on ( this was 24 years ago). Only been on a couple of hen do thingies - all relatively low key involving a meal and lots of booze. Didn’t know anyone except the bride on each occasion and couldn’t wait to go home. Not my thing.

chemenger · 22/01/2019 18:07

We had a joint hen/stag do, went to the pub and had some buffet food (which we paid for). Most of our friends were mutual and we didn't have family there.
I have never been to a hen do but I did go on a stag do in Blackpool with a mixed group of men and women, we did the pleasure beach then a club and got the last train home. Late '80s.

Honeyroar · 22/01/2019 18:09

I didn't. My friends live all over the country (various places I've lived) and were already having to travel for the wedding, so I didn't want to ask them to do it twice. Plus I'm not a fan of hen parties.

OdeToDiazepam · 22/01/2019 18:10

I don't plan on having a hen.. not that it's looking like I'll ever get married! Sad

browneyes77 · 22/01/2019 18:11

I honestly think it’s your event therefore you do what you feel is right for you.

It’s not law you have a hen. If it’s not something you wanted then that’s entirely your decision. They seem to be be a big headache these days so can’t say I’d blame anyone for not wanting one!

If I get married I’d probably have a hen do, but only something small and intimate with my closest friends/family. I wouldn’t want the big expensive hen do a lot of women seem to have now.

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