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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if I'm the only one who didn't .....

193 replies

HildaZelda · 21/01/2019 18:16

..... have a hen when I got married? Back in the noughties so they were definitely a 'thing' at the time.
It was a combination of things really, different groups of friends, some who didn't get on with others, some that I knew would be last minute cancellations, my mother (before going NC) would have tutted at everything and sat there with a cat's bum face.

I don't for one moment regret not having one. Never did, and if I was ever getting married again, I still wouldn't.

Anyone else?

OP posts:
Original poster
HildaZelda · 21/01/2019 19:21

Glad to hear it's not just me so!

I've been to a few where the mum or mil have been there, but they were the kind of mum/mil that was easy going and up for a bit of a laugh anyway.

A friend fell out with me because I didn't go to hers. It was a long weekend in Spain at an awkward time of year. An expensive hotel and because it was in the middle of nowhere (a few hours outside Madrid) flights were awkward and other transportation had to be arranged. I didn't know any of her other friends very well either.
When I told her I wouldn't be able to go, she got ratty with me and then blocked me on Facebook. The wedding invitation never arrived.
This was a lady in her thirties. Grow up!

OP posts:
ShinyPinkLipgloss · 21/01/2019 19:22

I didn't even have the thought process of having one!

Thankfully I'm not likely to ever be invited to one so I'll continue to live my life happily clueless to the goings on at a hen do....

VanillaSauce · 21/01/2019 19:22

I won't be having one.

Owlettele · 21/01/2019 19:24

Nope. Never had one.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 21/01/2019 19:24

Me neither. No stag for DH.

InAPreviousLife · 21/01/2019 19:25

I didn't. The closest thing you could say to a hen night I had was having cakes in my mum's house the night before the ceremony with my daughters and her.

Fluffytheevil1 · 21/01/2019 19:27

I didn’t.

notsurewhatshappening · 21/01/2019 19:29

No, I didn't have a hen party. I had a spa day with my mum the day before the wedding and loved it!

GreenShadow · 21/01/2019 19:30

I had a 'Duck' party instead.
I was moving away as well as getting married, so it was a chance to invite all my friends to a night out. There were far more men than women present.

jasmine1971 · 21/01/2019 19:31

I didn't, I just CBA at the time. Never regretted it.

grumiosmum · 21/01/2019 19:31

I didn't, think they are rather contrived.

Just went for a spa day with my best friend, who was also sort of a matron of honour (but wearing her own normal clothes) and I had no bridesmaids/pages either.

DS was 15 months old & too young to be involved.

CammieKennaway · 21/01/2019 19:32

I didn't have one either - again because so many of my friends didn't get on with each other and to be honest, nobody would have agreed on what to do and that's before you factor in the extra cost and hangover the next day.
My ex-friend had three hen nights though and expected us all to attend every single one and give her presents and everyone to pay for all of her drinks at each one - and then she got divorced before her first wedding anniversary.

Sexnotgender · 21/01/2019 19:32

Been married twice, never had a hen party. Really not my thing.

Catsandbootsandbootsandcats · 21/01/2019 19:33

I went for a meal with some friends. I was pregnant (and so was my bridesmaid) so that's all we wanted to do. I could never organise something anyway, my mum organised my whole wedding because I'm so shit at that sort of thing.

One of my friends bought her boyfriend to the meal so it wasn't a proper hen do (I didn't mind, not very bridezilla of meGrin)

DH (now ex) went down the pub with his brother and friend.

I've only been to one hen do too, and that was just a pub crawl in a nearby town, no expense except the drinks and taxi home.

Raspberry10 · 21/01/2019 19:34

We didn’t either, just took our friends out for a massive curry and had a great time. Don’t regret it in the least.

Pk37 · 21/01/2019 19:35

I didn’t, never appealed to me .
Dh didn’t have a stag either

10PollyPockets · 21/01/2019 19:36

I had a very low key lunch with just the women in mine and dhs family. It was really nice! Including me there was 8 of us.

NorksAreMessy · 21/01/2019 19:37

Didn’t have one...can’t imagine anything worse.
Didn’t even go to DSis

I like a fun day with pals...but the plastic willie-sash-ttiara-drinking to oblivion-stripper nonsense makes me want to run away

Onwardsagain · 21/01/2019 19:37

We eloped, just us two - no stag do or hen night this end.

Ikabod · 21/01/2019 19:38

Nope. I had a lovely day out with my sister instead Smile

misskatamari · 21/01/2019 19:40

I didn't. Dh didn't have a stag either. We got married abroad just us two, with a lovely reception back home, and just didn't feel the need to do stag/hen type things. They're not really my cup of tea anyway, Altho I've enjoyed the couple I've been to for close friends.

ChrisPrattsFace · 21/01/2019 19:40

I didn’t. In my late twenties, got married last year. DH didn’t have a stag either.
We paid extra for a few nights at our venue before the wedding and ate incredible food instead Grin

Dixiechickonhols · 21/01/2019 19:42

I didn’t. Didn’t even cross my mind. No regrets. No one ever mentioned it, so I don’t think anyone thought it was odd not too. Was 17 years ago.

PlatypusPie · 21/01/2019 19:42

A friend hosted a tea party at her house for me - cakes, nibbles, tea and wine. It was actually lots of fun and involved walking 200 yards around the corner. My DH to be had a small, subdued, local pub crawl as a stag night on the same evening and was delivered back to me looking as if he had been dragged though a hedge backwards. As indeed he had - there were privet leaves and twigs all over him.

Dahlietta · 21/01/2019 19:45

DH and I had a joint one! We went for a long walk to the pub with our friends and had some drinks and a meal.