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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if I'm the only one who didn't .....

193 replies

HildaZelda · 21/01/2019 18:16

..... have a hen when I got married? Back in the noughties so they were definitely a 'thing' at the time.
It was a combination of things really, different groups of friends, some who didn't get on with others, some that I knew would be last minute cancellations, my mother (before going NC) would have tutted at everything and sat there with a cat's bum face.

I don't for one moment regret not having one. Never did, and if I was ever getting married again, I still wouldn't.

Anyone else?

OP posts:
TisConfusion · 21/01/2019 19:46

I get married in a few months and it doesn't look like I'll be having a Hen night.
Honestly, I just don't have any friends.
l have a few old mates that I might talk to on occasion but I'm not that close with any one really. Not even having bridesmaids.
It does make me sad if I'm honest but even if I did have friends to have a 'hen' with, I wouldn't want to go out clubbing/getting drunk or anything like that!

IsItThatTimeAgain · 21/01/2019 19:52

I'm from a country that doesn't do this and I'm really glad. Some women have a single evening get together out to some local bars, maybe a strip club or something but that's usually it.

I didn't because I rarely drink and don't enjoy objectifying people.

I did go out with MOH to play laser tag and ski ball if that counts. 😅

Tinyteatime · 21/01/2019 19:53

I didn’t. I just couldn’t be arsed.

EnglishRose13 · 21/01/2019 20:01

I didn't.

I ran off to Vegas without telling anyone.

snowone · 21/01/2019 20:02

I didn't - got married in 2016. Snuck off with close family and had a very small wedding - didn't want the fuss / expense

MyBreadIsEggy · 21/01/2019 20:04

I didn’t - I can’t think of anything more mortifying than going out on the lash with my mum Blush (Neither of us are very glamorous drunks unfortunately Grin)
Me, mum, dsis and one of my close friends went for a pre-wedding pamper at a spa the day before my wedding instead

Wolfcub · 21/01/2019 20:05

I didn’t. Couldn’t afford it

Serialweightwatcher · 21/01/2019 20:08

I did and it was late 80s ... friends arranged for us to go to a greek restaurant where they did the smashing of the plates and table dancing, but they had also hired a sort of strip-o-gram (who didn't thank goodness) - dressed as Tarzan, and carried me over his shoulder down a flight of stairs where I nearly brought up my moussaka Hmm ... was a lot thinner then thank goodness or we'd have both gone flying

Northsea · 21/01/2019 20:10

I didn't have one. I did send out a message for a few local drinks to about a dozen colleagues/friends but only got 2 vague replies. I've never had a close bunch of friends and I've never known why. There must be something unlikeable about me but I dont know what it is.

Fluffycloudland77 · 21/01/2019 20:12

Didn’t have one
Haven’t been to anyone else’s.

I don’t intend to go to one in the future either.

dayswithaY · 21/01/2019 20:13

I didn't have one - was just too anxious that no one would turn up, plus it was the 90s so no one pushed the boat out much. I'm always amazed that brides get 20 people to commit to 7 nights in Italy, spa treatments, afternoon tea, yoga retreat, cocktail lessons, circus skills, sky diving all for the bargain price of £5k. I'd have a job getting people to commit to a night out at Pizza Hut. I love the idea of a Brides magazine doing a feature on retro weddings - Debenhams dress, reception in local hall with hand drawn banners and sausage rolls. Hen night in the local pub. Make a change from chalk boards, photo booths, sweet tables.

flyingspaghettimonster · 21/01/2019 20:17

Not my cup of tea either. We were married in 2005 and my husband had a stag do of sorts - really just a pub crawl with a handful of mates, but I just stayed in with one of my bridesmaids for the night and watched movies. I don't like being the center of attention, don't find sex toys hilarious or penis headbands or kissing strangers etc, and I wasn't at all interested in seeing strippers or drag acts. If I could do one now, I would go to a fancy tea place and see a show.

WildFlower2019 · 21/01/2019 20:18

I didn't either, for many of the same reasons as you. I only got married 8 months ago

StoneofDestiny · 21/01/2019 20:25

No didn't - and wouldn't want to go on one. Seen enough lairy loud groups at airports and swaying down the streets to think - no way.

A nice meal out with pals - ok, but the 'hen' thing isn't for me.

Atthebottomofthegarden · 21/01/2019 20:26

Outdoor classical concert with a picnic. Very nice it was too. Not a penis drinking straw in sight, thankfully! (Or out of sight for that matter!)

3out · 21/01/2019 20:28

I just had a quiet meal with three friends. I was happy with that. I’m not a big hennie fan. DH strung out his stag do though. Two nights out and a weekend 😂

3out · 21/01/2019 20:29

Yours sounds lovely, atthebottomofthegarden. Great idea.

nicoala1 · 21/01/2019 20:30

Hen parties are forced expensive jollity, just like Christmas and NY. (sorry)

Forget it folks and start a new trend. NO HENS. Who really relishes going around in a pack with willie wavers and a false veil on the HEN. Come on.

LazyLemur · 21/01/2019 20:31

I am getting married this year and not having one. Can't be arsed Not my thing.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 21/01/2019 20:31

I went to the pub with my friends the weekend before the wedding , that was as far a 'hen' as I had... Now-DH went to a (different) pub with his best mate for a few jars and that was the extent of his 'stag'. We were only 22 so we spent quite a bit of time in the pubs anyway!!

Betty777 · 21/01/2019 20:32

For various reasons I just had an afternoon tea thing then we all met up with the boys later at a bar (because several had flown in from abroad so was our only real chance to go out with them for a proper drink, we knew we'd be too busy to catch up properly at the wedding)

I grew up outside the UK and am horrified at how much British brides seems to think is appropriate to ask people to spend on their hen dos. unnecessary, tacky, selfish, weird

BrieAndOatcakes · 21/01/2019 20:33

I've never been on one (or had my own).

DramaAlpaca · 21/01/2019 20:35

I didn't have one, didn't want one. I've never even been to a hen night, it wasn't really done in my circle. DH didn't have or want a stag night either.

penelopepig · 21/01/2019 20:39

I didn't have one, much to everyone's annoyance! Can't think of anything worse

TrumpsAreFarts · 21/01/2019 20:40

Married 2012. I didn't, never been on one either. They sound awful tbh, and I was not up for that at all.