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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if I'm the only one who didn't .....

193 replies

HildaZelda · 21/01/2019 18:16

..... have a hen when I got married? Back in the noughties so they were definitely a 'thing' at the time.
It was a combination of things really, different groups of friends, some who didn't get on with others, some that I knew would be last minute cancellations, my mother (before going NC) would have tutted at everything and sat there with a cat's bum face.

I don't for one moment regret not having one. Never did, and if I was ever getting married again, I still wouldn't.

Anyone else?

OP posts:
MaybeMaybeNotJ · 21/01/2019 18:42

I shouldn’t have. One group of friends just didn’t want to be there and another had a bust up I had to mediate.

Dreadful

Ultramic · 21/01/2019 18:44

Another hen-less one here.

I got married abroad (just DH & I) as we're not spotlight people.

I don't have any family and only two close friends so it would have been very sparse...

ThinkOfAWittyNameLater · 21/01/2019 18:44

I am so jealous of you all. I was forced to "do something". Managed to whittle it down to a Chinese meal but even that was fairly stressful. Hmm

I wish I'd had the mental energy to put my foot down (had HG during pregnancy).

They waited until I was even more exhausted to spring a fucking baby shower on me too... grumble grumble

cardibach · 21/01/2019 18:47

I had an equal opportunities hen night, otherwise known as a barbecue with my mates, male and female. My fiancé went out for a pint with his dad and a couple of mates. This was in the olden days though, when the only thing slightly surprising about that was that I had blokes at mine.

HolyBumoley · 21/01/2019 18:50

I didn't have one. The whole idea repels me, along with big weddings. I have never been to a hen party, either. I was once invited to one but was, fortunately, having a baby on that day.

WonderTweek · 21/01/2019 18:52

Nope. Can't think of anything worse. We got married in my home country and we hired a couple of cottages for our families and friends to stay at the night before and the night of the wedding. My mum, stepmum, mother in law and my two friends and sisters in law twisted my arm and we all had a bit of a pamper session in the sauna the night before the big day. It was nice and relaxed and we all just mucked around with some face masks and stuff and had a beer and jumped in the lake. It was quite nice actually, but anything more would have turned me into an irritable (and ungrateful) mess.

newnameforthis7 · 21/01/2019 18:52

@HildaZelda

I used to enjoy hen nights, when it was one night out, where you'd spend 20-30 quid (maximum 40,) and a fiver on a taxi home .. (1980's - early 90's....) I went to probably fifteen or sixteen or so, over about 20 years between the age of 16 and 34/35. Work colleagues, neighbours, friends, extended family, DH's family, (and a few female colleagues of his.)

It was ALWAYS a night in a pub, cocktail bar, nightclub, bowling alley, or a nice restaurant, and even a couple in a swimming pool (with a buffet and lots of wine afterwards!) Upshot is, it was always ONE NIGHT.

Fortunately I was not in the generation of people born after 1984/85, (I was born early 60's,) so I only went to hen 'nights' that cost 40 quid tops, including a taxi and a kebab!

Never been to a hen weekend (or week!) that costs nigh on a grand or more... I think I am very fortunate to have missed that rather expensive boat!

No WAY would I be going to any hen party/celebration that ran into the high 3 figures/low 4 figures, like many do these days.

newnameforthis7 · 21/01/2019 18:57

I have just realised the OP asked if I had ever had a hen night, not have I ever been to one. (Sorry @HildaZelda !)

Yeah I had a 'hen' (mid 1980's when I got married, ) but it was just a pub crawl, visiting 5-6 pubs within 20 minutes walk of where I lived. Nothing fancy at all. Just me and a bunch of gals (about 20 of us including a few cousins and neighbours and work colleagues,) getting pissed as farts, having lots of giggles, eating lots of peanuts, and then nursing a hangover for a few days.

Got married the week after.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 21/01/2019 18:57

When I was growing up,hen party was a night out,club,pub with lassie pals
However for some pwincess types the scale and cost has ramped up,to include hiring a venue,travel costs,weekend event

Chesneyhawkes1 · 21/01/2019 19:00

@SleepingBooty that is what's happening to us. We didn't have a hen or stag do. Small wedding away from home with just 6 guests and now somehow we are having a reception in February for 150 people.

Not my idea and I'm not keen but we've given into pressure.

thenightsky · 21/01/2019 19:01

I didn't have a hen do back in 1980. I don't recall any of my friends having them either. I just had a 'moving out of shared house' pub crawl. There were no sashes or cheap veils worn either.

Yabbers · 21/01/2019 19:02

Nope. I didn’t have one, the idea of it made my skin crawl.

Been on one, never again. Had a much better time at my brother’s stag do,

QuitMoaning · 21/01/2019 19:07

I had a lovely meal out with some friends and family. All female and there were about 10 of us and it was lovely.

marvellousnightforamooncup · 21/01/2019 19:08

I wasn't going to have one but then dh's friend paid for him to go for a weekend in America at the last minute. I was miffed so managed to get a few friends out for a pizza. Not particularly exciting.

Other than that I've never been to one.

Winterfellwonderland · 21/01/2019 19:08

I didn't

maddiemookins16mum · 21/01/2019 19:08

I never had a ‘Hen Night’ as described on MN. But 10 of us went out for a curry one Friday night and drank too much vino.
Not sure that counts.

Readytogogogo · 21/01/2019 19:08

I didnt. Went for afternoon tea with one of my bridesmaids and to a spa with the other one. Much more to my taste!

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 21/01/2019 19:09

I didnt either ...just not my kind of thing.

Myheartbelongsto · 21/01/2019 19:10

I didn't have one, am getting married again and still not having one!

Went to one years ago and hated every minute of it.

Jux · 21/01/2019 19:13

Hens have always been a thing, in one way or another. Some have them, some don't.

I didn't have one, dh didn't have a stag. We did have a night in the pub with a load of mates.

ILoveMyCaravan · 21/01/2019 19:13

No hen do, no stag do and no bridesmaids! Church wedding and reception for 60. No kids were invited either!

NotTheFordType · 21/01/2019 19:16

I didn't and have never attended one either. Really, really not my thing.

oohyoudevilyou · 21/01/2019 19:18

No. Didn't have a big crowd of mates and worked on my own, so just went to the local curry house with my 2 close friends. Would actually love one now as I've got a big group of friends and work with a fun bunch of girls....20 years too late though!

halfwitpicker · 21/01/2019 19:18

I didn't.

BlimeyCalmDown · 21/01/2019 19:20

I avoid them at all costs

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