To think there is so much bollocks advice on MN?

[TooOldForThisWhoCares]

Some of the "advice" offered up on this website is just ridiculous at best and actually damaging at worst. If you are having huge issues for e.g with your child's
behaviour, fgs go to your gp or some kind of professional if possible. Same applies to many problems people put on here. Yes there is some good advice, but honestly it's often drowned out by complete and utter shite. Yes I'm sure I'll get a kicking for this but it just amazes me what people say to other, sometimes desperate, people on here.

I get a bit weary of the suggestion,that comes up time and time again,that if someone is behaving like a total arse,it automatically means that they must have mental health issues,or are suffering from dementia. Please don't get me wrong,I am not saying that this isn't sometimes the case. But I would be prepared to bet that it is only in the minority of cases. Why can't some people accept that there ARE individuals out there who are downright nasty or unpleasant,but aren't suffering from MH problems or dementia?

I quite like the relationship advice. It's nice to have a corner of the internet telling women they don't have to put up with shit. There's plenty willing to tell women to just suck it up, be nice, men just don't see dirt etc elsewhere

I agree. What I continue to find shocking on Mn is the number of women who live longterm in abusive and unhappy relationships, and who appear not to be aware that their situation isn't normal or indeed compulsory -- they post about some specific thing, and then when they're questioned, a picture emerges of a daily existence of such grinding awfulness that, even if only a tiny minority ever leave, it feels important that they are hearing people telling them it's not OK to have to live like that, and that they are worth more.

I get a bit weary of the suggestion,that comes up time and time again,that if someone is behaving like a total arse,it automatically means that they must have mental health issues,or are suffering from dementia.

What I get weary of is people throwing around the term 'narcissist' or 'toxic' as though the people they are referring to have met some kind of stringent diagnostic criteria, rather than simply being not very nice to be around.

^I get a bit weary of the suggestion,that comes up time and time again,that if someone is behaving like a total arse,it automatically means that they must have mental health issues,or are suffering from dementia.

What I get weary of is people throwing around the term 'narcissist' or 'toxic' as though the people they are referring to have met some kind of stringent diagnostic criteria, rather than simply being not very nice to be around^

That’s why I don’t think the word “dickhead”’is used enough on MN.

Is it a narcissist?
Is it an abuser?
No! It’s just a dickhead!

I posted something on a thread, something along the lines of 'when I go shopping with a woman, why does she' and I got abuse from some posters who assumed I was a bloke.
A lot don't read the OP properly - sometimes I miss something.
Sometimes people post things for a laugh. E.g. in reply to "DP ate my Easter egg" they might post LTB.

Bad advice IMO are things that medicalise problems (e.g. response of see GP about your Anxiety in reponse to ' I am a bit nervous about giving a speech') and dangerous or illegal advice.

I think aibu is a modern day freak show and there's a certain type that hang around it.

I believe there is an element of hq turning a blind eye which strikes me as highly irresponsible.

I, too, agree it needs to be binned

@SweetheartNeckline the guide lines from the Lullaby trust don't encourage co sleeping as it
increases the risk of SIDS. I'm a peadiatric nurse and we actively discourage it on the ward. If a parent insists we will put the baby on a monitor and document that we have advised against it.

Also never heard of an evaporation line on a pregnancy test! Not mentioned I. Our medical devices training for them.

Toddler I came across that after I asked, thank you! I suppose all you can do as a professional (and it's what I try and do in my voluntary role and on MN) is offer evidence-based information. BASIS (the baby sleep information service, used to be called ISIS) is really interesting if it's a topic you're engaged in. As with many things I do think - and it's only an opinion - it's a "shades of grey" situation, weighing up the risks vs benefits and making something as safe as possible (in this case by consciously making the choice to bedshare in a proper bed, breastfeeding, not smoking / drugs / alcohol, no partner or others in the bed, no duvet etc) can be good advice but it is so hard to advise without knowing the full circumstances.

I love MN for the variety of opinions and the suggestions of stuff that might have never crossed my mind but definitely agree there is some very dodgy advice given without caveats or details of the facts.

It's like they always have to go one better (or should that be one worse lol)

Are they 4 Yorkshiremen/women?

So many adults are self diagnosed as 'on the spectrum' or ADHD or whatever other diagnosis they can fit themselves into, many more "could be depressed"

So true. when did people stop being simply pissed off?

Can I just say that I DID get half an hour free at a solicitors once and it was really helpful.
They then went on to write a cease and desist letter which they charged for but my free half hour was all I needed on top of that.
Not all do it but in my town there is a directory of which ones do.

I agree I think AIBU should be binned for many many reasons. More experts tend to hang out on the individual boards and their advice is more useful.

But then AIBU is probably a twat magnet keeping the batshit crazy people away from those boards so I'm torn really.....

The worst advice on MN :

Tell her no is a complete sentence

This is not real life

Did you mean to be so rude?

Surely if you need to ask the question the answer is yes

All the embarrassing advice MNers with money give to MNers who are really struggling financially. There was one recently were helpful suggestions included downgrading to Primark and charity shops as if a poster on their knees financially shops at high end places to begin with

The constant/persistent suggestion or assumption that if someone is difficult or annoying, they :

Might have SN
Might have dementia
Might have a PD

SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST ARSEHOLES

Bloody hell,I'd have LTB within a a few months of being married to my exH if I'd taken that advice!

Don’t you see the irony?!

Sorry to lower the tone, but I begin question the universe when anything sex related comes up. The number of posted who declare that NOONE ENJOYS XXX is staggering. I wonder if they genuinely think they can declare what other people like? In their bedroom. It makes me ponder way too much about what other people do when their naked (or not naked, I’ve seen that declared as something that NO WOMEN WANTS).
Weirdly though, not applied to teenagers, they can bonk away like bunnies in their childhood bed).

Every ex is a 'narc' and a huge number of ILs (especially MILs!) are as well. At least in MN land

TBF, whilst LTB may be overused, so so many set the bar pretty damn low.

The number of posted who declare that NOONE ENJOYS XXX is staggering. I wonder if they genuinely think they can declare what other people like? In their bedroom.

I think it worse when the posters then insist anyone who does like 'x' in the bedroom doesn't really enjoy it. They are only doing it because their partner must watch porn had they have been manipulated into think they enjoy it.

It's women-splaining. Explaining why women can't possibly have their own opinion or enjoy something without being manipulated by a man. It was that some women think other women couldn't possibly make their own minds on something.

Boysandbuses yes, that’s a clearer explanation. As if with the entire spectrum of people and experiences in the universe, women could only possibly like this very narrow set of perameters. Also it’s supposed to be a bad thing that if you say you like X it’s because of your past “experiences”. Pretty sure that applied to everything. I dislike parsley (check user name) after a bout of flu and ill timed garnish - I get that everyone probably has different parsley feelings.
Also I am a “cool wife” because my DH has female friends that he only text and goes out with of an evening he once went away for the weekend with one. Posted it here regarding male and female friendships and it was told I only accept it to tear other women down. NO ONE can have a entirely platonic friendship with the opposite sex that involved spending time alone and alcohol.

I like AIBU because a lot of people have a very modern tendency to believe that the only way you can be nice and kind to somebody is to tell them you agree with them.

Actually I often think if somebody is behaving like an objectionable twat, it’s kinder to tell them that and why. Otherwise they frequently blunder through life wondering why everyone hates them because nobody has ever had the guts to sit them down and give them a good talking to and tell them how they come across.

I also think it’s very cruel to the people on the receiving end of bad behaviour for people to constantly tell the person behaving badly it’s okay and justified.

As I am neither disabled nor do I have a young child I am unreasonably annoyed by abuse of designated parking. I am sure if I post about it I will get a lecture on hidden disabilities it seems the majority of people suffer from.

Some posters cannot comprehend that others have a very different life, so will pollute a thread with "that never happened" "of course you did", playing a tiny violin because someone has a an issue they don't understand and so on.

There's also some bitter jealousy on here. A great example was a poster who completely abused a SAHM on a thread, until someone poster a link to several posts where she was bitterly complaining about being miserable at work and problems with her colleagues.

Some posters do refuse to accept that women can be happily married to lovely men, and that not everybody is abused or a slave.

DonCorleone the feminism types will chew you up and spit you out, if you dare to admit the men in your life OH and DS are really good people. Then they moan about being alone (rolls eyes)

DonCorleone the feminism types will chew you up and spit you out, if you dare to admit the men in your life OH and DS are really good people. Then they moan about being alone (rolls eyes)

I don't think that's true at all. If you spend time on the feminism discussions you will see loads of posters in happy marriages where they are treated as equals. The exasperation is at people who dismiss terrible behaviour from men as 'oh that's what they're all like'.

And I've never ever seen someone on a feminism discussion moan about being alone. If anything it's more a case of I'd rather be alone than put up with a terrible relationship.

treaclesoda I agree, the vast majority of people on the feminist boards seem to be in happy relationships. The opposite seems to be true on AIBU (maybe because the Relationship board has such a bad reputation that people are choosing to avoid it and post here instead?)

😂😂😂

This thread is too funny.